Facts & Figures

My friend Gwen has a blog called Everything I like Causes Cancer (see her link below, read it, she's awesome) and there is some thing called a meme or something and basically you get "tagged" by other bloggers and then you have to write 8 random facts about yourself and then tag another blogger and so on. This is cool and I will tell you why in.................

Fact #1 - I like to fill things out. Especially my pants! ba dum CHING! No, I mean those emails where there's a long list of questions like what's your favorite smell and are you wearing pants and stuff and then you send them to your pals and then you all send them around and you find out lots of cool stuff that is usually forgotten in 6 minutes but it really fun to read anyway. This is like that.

Fact #2 - I save receipts. Any receipt. I find them in my pockets, in the middle thingy in my car, on the floor in the car, under my bed, in random plastic shopping bags laying around, in my dresser drawer, in my purse, in my wallet, I could go on. Some may call this a "compulsion" but my grandma instilled in me that you NEVER throw away the receipt lest you decide in 3 months that you need to return it. Apparently I have applied this to everything from lattes to shoes to a Del Taco burrito.

Fact #3 - I hate coconut. This is no revelation to anyone who knows me but it is one of the few characteristics I have kept my entire life. I hate coconut a great deal. I also hate when people find out that you hate something and want to convince you that THEIR version of said item is THE BEST and you will LOVE IT. They usually guarantee this claim as well. Let me explain this to you people. I have spent 33 years hating something. I've had LOTS of practice and I've been around the coconut block a few times so it is insulting that you would think that YOU and your coconut shrimp or your pina colada are what will change this. You are not and just typing the word "pina colada" make my stomach lurch. I don't care if you dip it in gold, I don't want it and no I won't just "try a tiny piece" so stop asking. However, I will eat certain foods that contain coconut milk but NOT coconut pieces. I also dislike people who see me eat it and then they're all "HA! You just ate coconut! SUCKER" as though I was totally unaware of the contents of my peanut sauce. It's like they win or something. This is a very limited clause and it really only applies to peanut sauce which is delicious but for everything else I will always ask if there's coconut in it. Even like casseroles and stuff. Weird. Anyway, just in case you don't believe me, my grandma used to make the most beautiful coconut cakes from scratch. She would sit and grate the coconut forever and they were like these perfectly white fluffy snowballs and I LOVED it when she made them and I wanted to grab them and hug them but I never once in my whole life EVER ate a piece. Not even a crumb. I used to cry because I wanted to like it so badly but I just couldn't bring myself to ever eat it. That's how much I hate coconut.

Fact #4 - I have used the "firming" variety of body lotion every day for like 4 years and I still have saggy cellulite. I don't use it because I think it works but rather I'm afraid to see what will happen if I stop. I keep imagining I will wake up the day after I switch and I'll be covered with 7 layers of blubber. Well played, Neutrogena, well played indeed.

Fact #5 - I love the Lord of the Rings movies and I will always watch them when they're on no matter what point of the movie. Wizardry!

Fact #6 - I overuse the words "awesome" and "apparently". I will continue to overuse them.

Fact #7 - I know ALL the words to the song "We Didn't Start The Fire" and the song is just him listing off world events in rhyme. dumb. For some weird reason my 10th grade social studies teacher used the lyrics for some lesson or something and we got a copy of them and they've been lodged in my brain ever since. I can't remember birthdays and I retained nothing from any math class I've ever taken since about the 9th grade and yet I know all the words to a mediocre late-eighties Billy Joel song. Sad.

Fact #8 - When I was in second grade, my school was having some kind of talent show type of thing and I decided that I would do a "dance routine" to Olivia Newton-John's smash hit "Physical". My memory is fuzzy but it was basically me in a headband and leotard with an old cassette player doing jumping jacks and various "aerobic moves" to the music. I do not believe I put on a good show. This memory is really funny to me because I have no idea why I would have done this nor do I ever recall practicing a routine or anything and yet I still picture it happening. I even remember asking a girl on the bus going home if I did okay and she told me it was boring. I wonder if anyone else remembers this? I wonder if it really happened. If anyone was at Clayton Woods elementary in 1983, let me know if this is real.

That's it. I'm supposed to "tag" someone now but I don't know if my skills are up to it. Dang this post was long. You're probably tired now.