Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Pisces, May 27, 2009
So many people want to know if there is life after death. They might be better off asking if there is life during life? It often seems as if many of us lead an existence so dull or dreary that if we were to be granted immortality, we might consider it more of a punishment than a gift. For a long time, lately, you have been putting up with circumstances that are anything but life-enhancing or spirit-lifting. Here, this very day, comes an encounter that should reassure you about your future. You are about to do a spot of 'real' living!


So, this was a nice long weekend for us. Jeff had an extra day off yesterday because we were supposed to be in Chicago but at the last minute we had to cancel because a) they canceled my class and b) we had to have a last-minute meeting with our social worker for our adoption finalization. Our attorney set or court date for June 12, which is only 2 weeks and change from now and we had to make sure all our shit was in order. We were supposed to meet with her this coming weekend anyway so it all worked out. Max was very good and turned on the charm pretty heavy for her. He made sure to show her all his tricks including trying to open the back door to escape, falling down repeatedly and throwing stuff at us. I'm sure she was more than impressed. He also went over and kept trying to kiss her leg. It's going to be really nice to have this whole adoption finalized and done. It's getting more and more irritating to have to operate with him under two names but I will miss hearing people try to pronounce his Korean name. CAN I SPEAK TO BOMBMO JIM? BIMHOO GIM? No, I'm sorry you cannot. We have to think of some way to preserve his birth name somehow. I'm thinking we might have to make a trip back to the tattoo parlor. OH YEAH!

Aside from the visit, we had a pretty relaxing weekend. I didn't have any cakes, although I have two for this weekend, so we spent a good amount of time just hanging out together, running errands and doing crap around the house. Max was super happy about that and he seemed disappointed this morning when he woke up and Daddy was already gone. We did get out and go to a BBQ at my dad's house Sunday but that was about it. Max ate like a pig over there and couldn't believe when I saw him eating VERY stinky Pecorino cheese from the antipasto salad. Very interesting diaper from that one. Yes it was.

Jeff took a video of Max and Zoey playing this weekend, which I will leave you with. It is very cute so proceed with caution.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Lost Finale Recap Extravaganza

So, I've had a week to mull over the two hour finale and while I have SO MANY new questions, we did get some answers. Sorta. Instead of recapping the episode, because if you're too lazy to watch it then I'm too lazy to save you the trouble by recapping, I'm breaking this down to What We Know/Learned and What We Do Not Yet Know. Onward my people.....

-So, we met Jacob. And apparently Jacob's brother? Friend? Other self? All are possibilities. I'm actually inclined at this point to go on a limb and say that the dude in black, who we will henceforth refer to as "other dude" or "OD," is actually Jacob, or at least a facet of Jacob's personality. He may be the good or bad version of Jacob, depending on how you look at it. Now, it could just as easily be his brother or whatever, but I think that we are learning that they are not only responsible for all the people we have known to be on the island getting there, but they are testing them. Interestingly, in the opening Jacob was cooking a red fish. One could surmise it was a "red herring,' which is used to divert the attention of the reader or watcher. Were we being diverted by this whole scene? To what? We were led to believe that Jacob was the good guy in white and OD was the bad guy in black. Were they throwing us off? Jacob is the one bringing all these people to the island, and as we've seen, none of it ends well. This could mean that Jacob is actually the bad guy, that he brings them here to keep this cycle of something going and the OD just wants him to stop. Through the episode, we saw Jacob visit all our losties at various times in their lives, all of them significant to their future. The only one that really stuck out was Hurley, simply because he was the only one visited by Jacob after he had already been on the island. How is this possible? How did he get there then? Didn't OD say Jacob brings them there? Is there something we haven't seen yet? Regardless, Jacob clearly has a purpose for bringing all these people there for all these years. Who is on the Black Rock that we saw in the opening scene and how did it end up in the middle of the jungle? I had thought that Richard was on the ship, but I think he's been there much, much longer. Like he knew Cleopatra longer. Bottom line is that by the end of the scene, we know that Jacob has been there for a looong time, he weaves, brings various people to the island who, in the words of OD, "they come and they destroy" to which Jacob replies "yes, and everything in between is progress" and OD wants to KILL HIM but he can't. He tells him that he'll find a loophole and kill him to which Jacob says fine, I'll be here waiting.

-As we knew from last week, Zombie Locke was on a mission to kill Jacob. Ben seemed unsure of this idea, especially after learning that he would be the one to do it. First I thought it was because Locke ain't no killa, but we eventually learn that the big metal trunk that Ilana and her crew have been so protective of actually contains Locke's body from the cargo hold. This means that Zombie John Locke is no John Locke at all. Is it Jacob or OD? Or smokey? Is this how we saw Christian on the island? His body became inhabited by...this thing? Does this mean Claire is for sure dead since we saw her in the cabin with Christian? Speaking of the cabin, let's talk about that. We thought the cabin was Jacob's home. Not so. We also know that when Ben took John there, it was all a fake out and Ben was full of shit. However, we do know that when they were there, whoever was in the cabin asked John for help and Ben did not hear it. Why John and who was it being held captive? OD? Jacob? When Ilana went to the cabin, presumably to help Jacob who had visited her off island, but when they got there the ash ring had been broken and she found it empty except for a piece of tapestry on the wall. She seemed very unnerved by this and torched the cabin when they left. First of all, we still don't know who this broad is and why she was asked to go there. She seemed scared of Jacob when he visited her and yet she is helping him. She is also the only one he visited that he did NOT touch. Why? Back to Zombie Locke. He convinces Ben to kill Jacob by pointing out that while Ben gave his whole life to protect the island and I guess Jacob, all Jacob did in return was give him cancer and kill his daughter. That fired Ben up enough to do it. We'll get to the final scene in a minute.

-Back in 1977, Jack, Sayid, Richard and Eloise get the bomb ready to go. I had no idea Sayid had so many useful skills! He's like the MacGuyver of Lost Island. Give him a rubber band, a tampon and a banana and he'll get you out of any jam! Richard busts them out of the catacombs and into one of the Dharma houses and, to protect his leader, knocks out Eloise and informs Jack and Sayid that they're on their own. Richard, why do you never seem to really know what's going on? You've been there for ages adn yet I am constantly surprised at how little you seem to be aware of. Anyway, the guys blend in and try to get to the Swan but another shoot-out happens, Sayid is shot in the gut and Hurley and the rest of the Scooby gang pick them up in the groovy Dharma van. Their plan is to drop the bomb, which has been made to go off on impact, down the hole Radzinsky is drilling. You know, the one that's about to cause it all to go KABLOOEY? Chang tries to stop the drilling because of the magnet and what he knows from Daniel but Radzinsky is hell bent on finishing what he started so they drill and drill. They get to the Swan and hide in the bushes, eventually running into Sawyer, Juliette and Kate. Jack and Sawyer finally go off to have the fight they've wanted to have since season one. Jeez dudes, get over it. There are mixed feelings amongst them all as to whether this is the right decision or not but they all decide that starting this whole shebang over is the only way to save them.

-Locke's group make it to the beach where Jacob resides. We also see the foot of the statue that towered over them in the opening scene. Popular belief is that it's a statue of Taweret, who was an Egyptian deity. She is important for three reasons. One, she is supposedly both the goddess of childbirth and fertility (and we know what happens to babies there), the wife of the god of evil (perhaps the entrance to hell?) and she is supposed to embody all that Egyptians fear in life. All of these make perfect sense. Perhaps the statue's demise is what caused the fertility problems. Her embodiment of all that they fear could mean she is still as such and manifests as smokey, who as we have seen, shows our losties all the crappy things in their lives. She also stands, or stood, at what is probably the entrance to the catacombs that we are now familiar with as Jacob's home. Is he her husband, the god of evil? Is it his tomb, perhaps? Anyway, Zombie Locke asks Richard to open the door and when he wants to bring Ben along to kill Jacob, Richard explains that there is only one leader and he/she is the only one who can see Jacob but Locke persists and ends up taking Ben anyway. While they're in the tomb, Ilana comes to the beach with the metal case full of dead John Locke and asks Richard, or Ricardus, "what lies in the shadow of the statue?" to which he replies (in Latin)," he who will protect us all." Is he referring to Jacob? OD? Or is it dead John Locke after they bury him there? Any and all would work at this point.

-Before they meet up with the gang, Sawyer, Kate and Juliette stumble upon Rose and Bernard, who have been living on the beach with Vincent since the flaming arrows incident. They are not happy to see them. Rose and Bernard can be taken two ways. One way is that the producers knew we wanted to know where they went off to. Another way is to show that they were the only ones who just went with it. They didn't try to change shit or get home or anything. They just lived their lives as they needed to. Is this significant? Perhaps. Back at the swan, the losties are discovered by the Dharma peeps, another shoot-out ensues, the drill hits the magnet and all hell breaks loose. As we saw in the station when the button wasn't pushed, everything metal starts getting pulled down into the hole. In the midst of this WACKNESS, Jack approaches the hole to drop the bomb which is supposed to detonate and start this whole thing over. If it goes to plan, they will all of a sudden end up in LA, having never gone to the island in the first place. The scene when he goes to drop it was really good because we saw them all looking both happy and sad that their lives will reset. All they've done in the last three years will be erased and they will not even know each other. He drops the bomb and.........nothing. No blast. They're like "huh?" and then Juliette gets wrapped in some chains and is pulled into the hole. Kate jumps to save her and Sawyer joins to try and pull her out. Now, I know there is a lot of hate for Juliette out there but I am not one of those people. I thought her character actually grew the most of anyone and I was really sad to see her leave. I wish Kate had gotten pulled down instead. OH SNAP. The magnet is too much for them and Juliette is pulled down the hole. Sawyer's anguish was very sad and he realized at that moment that he did love her and not Kate. Wah wah. Too late, sucker.

-Back on the beach, Ben and Zombie Locke enter Jacob's lair. Jacob is not surprised to see them. He looks at Locke and says "I guess you found your loophole" and we finally realize that this isn't Zombie John Locke at all, but OD disguised as such. Now, this whole scene had some interesting things about it. First off, Jacob knew this was a ruse. How and why? Second, he obviously knew that Ben was going to kill him and yet he didn't back off from him and even instigated him when Ben wanted to know why he wasn't special enough to be the leader. Now, Ben thought the OD WAS John, so he was probably cornfused by the whole thing but Jacob would have known this as well and still made Ben feel like he isn't really anything special, which drives Ben to plunge the knife into Jacob's heart. As he dies, he says to them "they're coming," falls over and then OD/Locke kicks him into the fire. Who is coming? Is he really dead? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? Is Jacob now what lies in the shadow of the statue?

-The final scene is Juliette in the hole. She survived the fall (yeah right) and is lying in a pile of wet metal. She is PISSED that her Shakespearean death scene didn't work out. Juliette wanted Jack to drop the bomb because it would mean that she would never have known Sawyer and therefore would never have to love him and lose him. How sad. As we saw in her flashback, she knew from her parents that even if you love someone, it doesn't mean you are supposed to be together and that's how she saw her relationship with Sawyer. He was only really there because of the whacked out circumstances, not because she was his first choice in love. In her furor she looks over to see the dud of a bomb laying there. Stupid bomb. She is SO PISSED that she grabs a rock and starts to slam it into the bomb over and over and over and then.......................BAM............the screen goes white. What we now see is a white screen with the black Lost logo, which is the opposite of how it has been thus far. The game has changed.

So that's the finale in a nutshell. There are six million theories out there. I have one and here is it, although I'm making no claims to its accuracy. It is only MY theory so don't get your panties all in a bunch of you don't like it. I think that based on what Jacob and OD said in the beginning, they bring people to this island to basically test mankind. My sister and I have had many a talk about religion and it's role in society and I have maintained that religion was developed in some part as a means to keep people in line. If we fear eternal damnation, we might not be assholes. As civilization progressed, so did the fear. I have also maintained that we are unable to live without religion for this very reason. We would live in utter chaos. Perhaps Jacob brings these people there to see if they will live as good, kind people on their own accord, without the fear of eternal damnation, without religion. If you look at Rose and Bernard, they did just that. They lived the best life they could under their circumstances and they didn't try to fight or anything. Are they Adam and Eve? Now stay with me here, but it seemed like if Jacob and OD were basically trying to decided whether humanity was worthy enough to continue, this would be a good way to do it. Keep bringing people there, giving them the opportunity to change their lives for the better and see what they do in that situation. Will they always resort to power struggles and war? Is this a watertight theory? Hell no. It's just one of many but based on the types of symbolism we've seen and the kinds of struggles that the people all face, it seems plausible.

The suckiest part of this is that a) we have to wait until FREAKING FEBRUARY for the next season and b) it's the last season, which makes me sad. Lost has had its ups and downs but it remains one of the most interesting shows I've ever watched and I will miss it when it's over. I'm sure you'll miss my recaps for the next 8 months but my tired fingers won't.


Monday, May 18, 2009

Cake Alert

So, head on over and take a peek. For reals because this may be the only interesting thing on here all week.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Man's best friend, indeed.

So, I'm not going to post my super Lost recap extravaganza because I am still trying scoop up my brains that were BLOWN. Holy crap, that was something. Instead, I will tell you about my night after Lost ended.

We had storms here last night and our dog Zoey is terrified of them. She has no problems going after a giant rottweiler or continuing her epic battle between herself and the evil squirrels that live in our backyard and taunt her, but somehow thunder will bring her to her knees. Normally, she will just get really close to us, like try to crawl INSIDE of us, and she'll still be upset but it's not that bad. Well, last night was different. We went to bed late because my sister and I were on the phone discussing Lost and then after that I got sucked into watching 50 First Dates (thanks, Lizzy) and that didn't end until after midnight. During all of this, it was storming but Zoey was only upset enough to sit on the bed and pop her head up a few times when it would thunder. After I turned the TV off, that's when the shit hit the fan. The storm had gotten worse and it was pretty loud and soon she was up by our heads trying to crawl up on Jeff's pillow. Now Zoey is no stranger to a meal so there wasn't much room for her up there. She then tried to jump onto his nightstand, why I don't know, so he moved her back down to the end of the bed. She proceeded to jump down, run into the bathroom and scratch at the side of the tub so I went in there and put her in the tub thinking maybe she would feel safer but all she did was try to climb back out. I took her out, brought her back to bed and tried to calm her down but she was shaking and I felt bad for her but it wasn't THAT bad out and this was a little extreme. She refused to sit still and kept pacing the bed until she jumped down again, this time to try to crawl her fat ass under Jeff's side table, which has a shelf that's only abut 6 inches off the ground. Obviously, this was not going to work but she kept up and was scratching and clawing and it was driving us BANANAS. We were both trying to sleep and at this point it was 1am and she was not settling down. We tried to comfort her AGAIN and then Jeff went to get her cage. We brought it in thinking she would go in and go to sleep, but she just went in and then right back out and resumed scratching on everything in the room including the closet, bathroom door, bathtub, bed frame and my dirty clothes basket. I was VERY TIRED now and was getting pissed because there was nothing we could do for her so I finally put the pillow over my head and figured she would work it out.

Well, a couple hours later, I felt her run up to me so I pulled the sheets back so she could snuggle in and everything was okay until her head popped up and I heard a noise. I was like "what the.." and all of a sudden, SHE THROWS UP ON ME. The dog effing threw up on me in bed at 3am. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I (gently) threw her off the bed and ran into the bathroom yelling obscenities and got a towel to mop up the puke that was all over my nice clean sheets. She had curled up, presumably having been soothed to sleep by this so now I was the only one up. I tried to share my joy with Jeff but he was sound asleep. I had to clean me, my pillow and the whole area I sleep in and ended up sleeping on a towel in lieu of changing the sheets again. I wasn't able to really go back to sleep after this because dog puke does not smell good contrary to popular belief. Everyone else slept just fine.

So, needless to say, I'm not exactly in the most sunshiny mood today and if it storms again tonight, which its supposed to, you can find me at the Hampton Inn. One room. One guest. Me.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Step off, checker.

Gardeners don't just plant seeds and then sit back and watch while their crops come to glorious fruition. They have to make sure that weeds don't become established and that pests don't threaten their tender shoots. Some crops are particularly difficult to tend. Soil pollution can be unhealthy. Without enough water or sunshine no growth will occur. You feel rather as if you have undertaken a project that may never succeed. You are daunted and disappointed by the amount of effort that seems to be necessary. But if you keep trying, you won't fail.

Hmm...I hope they are referring to my cake dreams. DON'T FAIL, ME.

So, I wanted to relay a story that happened to me yesterday. I had to do a little grocery shopping yesterday afternoon and on my second stop, I bought a bottle of wine. I do this often. We are wine drinkers and much like the French, we drink wine with dinner most nights. Unlike the French, I buy cheap wine that most people would be embarrassed to even take to the cashier. I have no shame so I don't give a shit what they think. Anyway, I was checking out with little Kimchi and as I walked down to the little credit card machine, the cashier kind of curtly requested my ID for the wine. It's not uncommon for someone to ID me because I am about 5 feet tall and for some bizarre reason, people associate shortness with youth and people rarely know my real age. I also had no makeup on, sweat pants and my hair was in a ponytail, which added to my "youthful glow." After the lady scanned all my stuff, she picked up my license, put on her reading glasses and proceeded to give me a once over like I was 19 and trying to get into a club with my sister's ID, not that I would know what that's like. She did this for a minute and then this exchange happened:

checker - "what's your birth date?"
me - "HUH? Um, March 1, 1974."
checker - hmmmm.....
me - looking perplexed; just gimme me my Arbor Mist, beyotch
checker - "Is this your full name? Why do you have so many names?"
me - "Really? REALLY? Yes, those are ALL my names. My maiden and married name are both on there." ANYTHING ELSE NOSY BITCH? (I didn't really say that last part because I have manners unlike this woman who thought I was pulling one over on her.)
checker - scans me again and hands me the ID back; "well, okay I guess. Have a nice day."

Now, I know I look young sometimes but this was ridiculous. I had a baby with me for chrissakes! Granted, the child looks nothing like me so I guess I could have been the nanny trying to add my own terrible wine on to my rich boss's grocery order but again, I DON'T LOOK THAT YOUNG. I called Jeff when I got to the car and told him and he was like "NICE!" and I was like "no, not nice. I hate that shit." Every person I know thinks it would be kick ass to get carded all the time but trust me, it's annoying beyond belief. I am a grown ass woman and garnering respect when you are a shorty is hard. RESPECT ME WORLD AND GIVE ME MY ARBOR MIST.

And it was delicious.

Sunday, May 10, 2009


So, during the day when me and Kimchi are hanging, I like to take pictures of him with my iPhone. They are usually blurry but sometimes I get a really good one. Therefore, I'm starting a new feature here called iPics, which translates to "pictures taken with my iPhone." Enjoy.

He has a very deep thought.


Weeeeeeeeee!!!! Action shot.

Apparently, he didn't like what I had to say.

You sure about this hat? Really?

I swear I didn't do it.

Triple threat.

The face of an angel. Yeah, sure it is.

Cake Alert - Mother's Day Edition

So, today is my first official Mother's Day. In past years I would get cards from the dogs but this year, Max went to Walgreens all by himself and bought me a card. He also picked up the under the bed shoe storage thing from the As Seen On TV aisle. He is very thoughtful and apparently, dislikes my shoe clutter. Jeff let me sleep in (well, until 7:30) and then made us all pancakes and then gave me yet another present. He bought me a kick ass airbrush kit for my cake making! It's super cool and I'm excited to start airbrushing the shit out of everything. LOOK OUT.

This post is also a cake alert so go there,, and look.

To all you mothers out there, happy motherlovers day!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Lost Recap

You know, every week I don't think it can get any crazier and then it does. Wow. Just wow. I'm not going into a lengthy recap because quite frankly, I am more concerned with some questions I have than what happened. Here's what happened in a nutshell:

Dan wants bomb. Richard says no. Eloise shoots him. Kate and Jack flee but Widdy stops them. Hostiles take them captive. Jack asks who is that. Richard says Widdy. Also implies he and Eloise are an item of sorts, love is complicated. Eloise says Dan is truth telling and wants to help Jack and Kate detonate the bomb to stop the incident. Kate has sad pants because she doesn't want to go back to the way it was despite the crap along the way but Jack says no. Locke has new role as leader. Locke leads Richard and Ben to jungle where we see the Nigerian plane. Locke tells Richard to tell past Locke, who is going to come upon the plane, that he has to bring them all back and he has to die. Richard does this. Now we know. Locke wants to see Jacob. Richard says okay. Ben protests. Locke tells them to suck it and take him there anyway. Eloise, Jack, Kate and Richard take off for bomb. Kate changes mind, tries to leave. Hostile tries to stop her. Sayid comes from the bush and shoots him. Sayid joins group. Kate says see ya suckers and heads back to Dharma. Radzinsky holds Sawyer and Juliette. Tries to beat info out of them. After Juliette gets hit, they squeal. Horace is losing control of his people. Miles, Jin and Hurley are trying to escape but Chang finds them in the jungle. He asks if they are from the future. They say yes and that Miles is his son. They tell him to evacuate the island. He goes to Horace and tells him. Sawyer tells them he'll talk if they put him and Juliette on the sub to leave. They say yes and draw us a map to the hostiles. Juliette is happy they are leaving together. Hurely, Miles and Jin think Sawyer will come to help him but he leaves. Eloise, Richard, Jack and Sayid have to dive under the stream to get to the underground tunnels. They end up where Smokey was. Sayid says he came because if Jack is right, he gets his life back and if not, they are out of their misery. Good point. Locke, Richard and Ben go back to camp. Locke tells the hostiles that they are all going to go see Jacob because Locke wants to expose him. Ben and Richard conspire that Locke is trouble. Ben plays both sides. Juliette and Sawyer load on the sub. Before they leave, they put Kate in, who they found trying to return. Juliette is VERY upset. Richard, Eloise, Jack and Sayid find the bomb. Yikes. Locke and company are heading to find Jacob. Ben tried to suck up to Locke and asks what he's going to do. Locke tells him that despite his earlier promise, he doesn't care about bringing the other losties back from 1977. Ben asks what IS he doing then. Locke says he's going to kill Jacob. Come again?

That's that. Here's what we still need to know:
-Richard Alpert, who the hell are you really? So you're an advisor, but to who and what are you advising about? How old are you and why is it so cryptically said that you've been there for a very, very long time. Why don't you seem to hold any power and why are you following Locke?

-Locke, what the hell is the deal with you? Clearly, you are not yourself anymore. Death has changed you. Are you REALLY John Locke? Why are you going to kill Jacob? Do you need to release him from captivity? That's what I think. Ben or Richard or maybe someone else is holding Jacob in some way for some reason. Did you tell Richard to tell you that you had to die because by dying, you learned the secrets of Jacob? Did the rest of the losties really have to come back and if not, why did you make them return? Why did you mastermind this whole thing? How are you connected to this shit?

-Juliette. What do you know? I like you, but I think you know stuff you aren't telling. Fess up.

-Kate,back the hell off. Sawyer and Juliette are together. Stop making eyes at him.

-Jack, I don't think this is your destiny but we'll see.

-Sayid, you are so awesome and you should not wear a shirt for a while. For me.

-Ben. I don't believe you are blindly following anyone. You have a plan and you are still manipulating this. Clearly, you are not fearful of the island or of Jacob or of Richard. Why? Are you the one controlling Jacob? Are you holding him prisoner?

Feel free to post any theories in the comments. I'm so excited about the finale. HOLY CRAP!