Friday, February 29, 2008

TGIF......Fo reals

This has been a particularly bad week for me. I'm convinced that the lunar eclipse brought me some bad times. That's what the man who writes my horoscopes said anyway so I believe him. Yesterday was the culmination. Since I got stuck doing all the graphics for my PR group, I didn't have the time or energy to devote as much to it as I should have because of all of my other projects and the little bit of a life that I actually have. Well, I was putting the finishing touches on what I had done while I was in graphic design class yesterday when my teacher walked up behind me and asked what I was doing. I explained and he made some "suggestions" for my brochure. He told me the one I had done was clunky and dark and not attractive. Okay, it was a bit boring but it wasn't THAT bad. Well, he decided to sit down and totally redesign my brochure. Color, fonts, layout, EVERYTHING. I didn't really protest too much because A) he's one of my instructors and I am there to learn, B) I was spent and didn't have much more to put into it anyway and C) I am lacking in self-confidence and when someone says my stuff is shit, I believe them, even if I shouldn't.

Well, as usual there were printing problems and all the meetings had been scheduled right after each other so everyone was running around getting their stuff together, including Evann. I briefly showed her the brochure in the hall and she told me to trim it and nothing else. Okay, done and done. Well, we went into the meeting with the clients and when I showed them the brochure, they went silent. Crickets, people. Evann looked at me and was like "this isn't the brochure I saw. what IS this?" I told her that I changed a few things in class and she was like "UNDER WHOSE DIRECTION?" I stammered for a bit and told her that the other one felt clunky and dark and she kept asking who told me this so I had no other choice than to say that this other teacher suggested I clean it up and make a few changes. I really didn't want to bring his name into it but at this point I was backed in a corner like an angry badger. All the while, my clients are sitting there watching Evann bitch me out. Very class-say for me. She told me to go to the lab and get the original RIGHT NOW but I didn't want to tell her that I wasn't even sure if I HAD it anymore. That probably wouldn't have gone so well. Then I remembered that I had a rough copy of the original brochure in my bag so I whipped it out and THEY LOVED IT. Well, Evann was still VERY pissed off at me and she spent the entire rest of the meeting shooting me evil glances. I pretty much knew that I was screwed at this point.

When the meeting ended I went back to the classroom to await my wrath. The rest of my group were all concerned and even waited with me so I wouldn't be there alone. THAT'S HOW MAD SHE WAS. She finally came in and sat down and I began apologizing profusely for everything including global warming and the war. She told me that I had committed two cardinal sins. First off, I didn't consult my "art director" (her) before presenting to the client and that I didn't trust my own instincts and allowed someone to come in and steamroll my design. These are both true, although I thought about telling her that I had, in fact, shown her the brochure in the hall but I thought it best to just zip it and listen. Well, I felt like an enormous tool and I KNOW for a fact that had I done this in "the real world", I probably would have been fired on the spot. Now, of course, had they loved the new design, then I would have been a freaking genius and everything would have worked out with a sitcom ending. Instead I got yelled at in front of clients and could go nothing but just sit there and smile through it. The instructor that "helped" heard about all this from another student and felt bad but I told him it wasn't his fault. I should have stood up for my design and I didn't. I could have told him no or whatever but I respect him and figured he knew better. I had class with him this morning and he made a point of telling us all that we basically have to learn to trust our designs and that not everyone is always going to like what we do but that's just the nature of the beast. Art is subjective. Plain and simple. He also told me that he thinks I will make a good designer, although I think that was the guilt talking but I'll take it anyway. All in all it was a very bad experience, but I'm going to take it as a lesson and move on.

On a really awesome note, my kick-ass classmates secretly went and got me balloons and a card for my birthday today. They came in singing to me! I turned 73 shades of embarrassed but I can't thank them enough for such a nice gesture. I've said it before, but I am really grateful to them for making me a part of their circle. They are not only great people but they're outstanding designers and I'm privileged to work with them.
AND they made my week end on a high note. Thanks guys!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Lost Recap

All I got to say is I freaking called it. Time jumping, people. I called it weeks ago. This episode was AWESOME! Let's look back...............

- Thank you Lost Gods, for not killing my Desmond. Thanks to a Tivo malfunction, I missed the first 2 minutes but I came to see he had some kind of mid-air memory loss freak-out. I DON'T KNOW YOU, BROTHA! Okay, so let's see, Dezzie got blown up some by the hatch explosion and started seeing visions of the future and now he can jump through time. Sweet. Was he really jumping when he saw those visions or were they just visions? Does that mean that Hurley and Locke and Walt are also able to time jump? Methinks yes. That's how Walt can be on the island when he really isn't or why the cabin is sometimes there and sometimes not. They must be jumping somehow but they don't seem to suffer the same effects. Maybe it's because they all had their constant already. But who and what? Since they were all there when the button was stopped and the sky went purple, are they all full enough of radiation now to start having "experiences?" Who left the 3-toed statue? Is the island full of random things from random times because it makes you bop around? Polar bear carcass found on an archaeological dig in the present time and yet we just saw that polar bear alive on the island less than 6 months prior? Maybe the polar bear was like a giant Eloise and it died on that side of time.

-There really is a freighter and there really is an "off the island". And how about Sayid going all MacGuyver and jacking up that phone. He's really handy. BUT..who are they working for? Penelope's father? Hanso? How did Penelope know about the island? She only spoke to Charlie for a second before he was sucked to bits. Did she trace the call?

- That auction was VERY interesting, no? The Black Rock log being auctioned off by Hanso and Penny's father buying it? Are we going to finally get an explanation as to how that thing got in the middle of the island. Are we going to ever find out what Hanso is REALLY about and what the real deal is with the Dharma project? They kinda abandoned all that stuff but we still don't know anything major about what they were there to do.

My theory is that Ben can do this time jumping quite well and that's why he is so sought after. Ben must hold whatever powers these are and all these men are trying to get him and his secrets. This is all getting really massive and wacky and I hope that the producers don't' screw it up. I should be glad we got to see all this stuff because it rocked, but it also, as per usual, posed WAY more questions than it answered. Well played, Lost. I'm confused and my mind hurts.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Complaint Box

Okay, today I'm a little cranky so I've decided to dub this post "The Complaint Box". I've got a few things to get off my chest and I invite anyone else to leave some on the comments section. Do it. It makes you feeeeeeel better.

-There is a girl in my PR group that "mislead" us about her skill level in graphic design. She told us she knew how to do things like logos and brochures and yet when we actually have to execute these things...well, it just wasn't good. AT ALL. It was bad. I said it. Now, I'm not complaining about her skill level, that's just learning and experience. I'm complaining about the fact that she SAID she knew how to do this stuff so I came on to the team thinking I would be mentoring a graphics student, not doing all the graphic design BY MYSELF. I'm not even taking this class for a grade! I'm doing it for "experience" and the $8/hr I get for tuition but I'm not about to quit and leave a bad impression so I'm stuck. AND we have a meeting tomorrow that the other mentor can't make so I'm going to have to helm it by myself. FART.

-Hey folks, there is a blinker on your car for a reason. Lady in the Taurus from earlier today, yeah it's really not cool to drive along and suddenly decide to turn WITHOUT SIGNALING so that we all have to slam on our brakes and almost have a tractor-trailer in our backseat. Kinda scary. I'm 99.9% sure your Taurus came with this option so maybe a refresher from the manual might help. Hey, I know it's a lot of effort to have to actually lift your hand to move the little lever that makes the little arrows go blinky-blinky when you are so focused on the cell phone conversation you are currently having. It's totally fine. From now on I'll just try to anticipate mentally when someone decides to leave the roadway as to avoid them the strain of being a responsible driver.

-Coke vending machine at my school, what the hell is your problem? First you eat my money. You just took it, like a mugging. Then you give me a Sprite when I clearly pressed the Coke Zero button. Coke machine, if I wanted a Sprite, I would have hit the picture of the Sprite, okay? Finally, in a splendid moment of greatness, when you finally saw fit to dispense my Coke Zero, it was hot. Not warm, no it was actually heating up my hand. It's a long walk to the bookstore and you are supposed to make things more convenient for me but right now you are really sucking at your job. Get it together. I predict thirst.

Okay, that's what's pissing me off today. I feel better and if I get pissed off again, I might add more. Please add your own, just don't hurt feelings, kay? I don't want to get my ass kicked.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Lost Recap

LM reminded me that I neglected to recap Lost from last week. Friday was a mess with the dog and the weather and the portfolio thingy and I just forgot. My memory is a bit fuzzy on the details but here's the gist..........

1. Okay, so Kate gets off the island. We knew that. She's obviously one of the Oceanic 6 but she seems to be having trouble keeping the little secret they all seem to share. On the island, she's chosen to stay at the barracks with loony-bin Locke and the rest of them, including Sawyer. I guess I could see the appeal of just chucking your crappy life for a new one you get to make up. Anyway, Kate being Kate, she has a plan. She wants to know what Miles knows about her so she knows what the rest of the world knows about her past. I believe this is to decide whether to make up her new life with Sawyer or to go back and face the music. Miles says he'll tell her everything if she gives him 2 minutes with Ben. Kate hatches a plan with Sawyer to do this since Locke has gone all Stalin-like and won't "allow" her to see either of them. Lockey gone loco.

2. In the future, Kate is off the island and facing murder charges. Her mom is the star witness. The lawyers keep wanting her to use her kid (what?!) as a character witness but she'll have none of it. Who comes instead? Cleaned up Jack! Yay! He takes the stand and tells this story of how there were only 6 or 8 people that survived the crash and that the others drowned or whatever. This is quite a story. I'm not going to delve too much into it because what we already know is ALL we know at this point and we still don't even know how they got off the island yet. The state attorney asks Jack if he loves Kate and he says no, not anymore. ZING! She looks pretty hurt.

3. On the island, she acts on her plan, busts out Miles and brings him to Ben. I assumed that Miles would want to kill him or something but instead, he tries to cut a deal for some huge cash payoff by telling Ben he'll tell everyone back home he's dead. I think. Like I said, my memory is fuzzy and I don't have time to re-watch. Ben protested and Miles was all "I know who you are and I know the power you have so gimme my money." This is perplexing because it confirms that Ben is someone VERY IMPORTANT but if so, why had no one on the plane heard of him? That is bothering me. Anyway, Locke finds them gets pissed at Kate and banishes her back to the beach. wah-wah. Sawyer says it's rubbish and wants her to stay but she gets mad at him for being happy she isn't pregnant and he tells her that Hey, you didn't want a kid either! Kate bolts for the beach and we can assume that she is done with him now.

4. Back on land, Kate's mother visits her and tells her she doesn't want to testify against her so Kate says fine, don't. Her mom says she wants to see Kate's son before she dies and Kate says NO WAY LADY. The mom still doesn't testify, the state cuts a deal and she sees no jail time. Hooray! As she's leaving the courthouse she runs into Jack and he tells her he still loves her and wants to go for coffee or something. She said she would go as long as he would come to see the child. Jack gets freaked out and says he can't do it so she said sayonara until you do. I figured it was either his or Sawyer's kid and he was running from responsibility or that the child was somehow deformed or something from the island powers.

5. The last scene is Kate going back to her very nice house and she goes upstairs to see the boy. He's sleeping and she goes in to give him a hug and we see he isn't deformed and looks a lot like Sawyer until...............................................................she calls him Aaron. end scene.

HOLY CRAP PANTS! I knew that Aaron was special since he was born on the island but now I'm MORE intrigued as to how this situation will make itself happen. Why does she have Aaron? Is Claire dead at this point or still on the island, and if so, why did she send Aaron to go be Kate's son? Why won't Jack see him? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Monday, February 25, 2008

Rock of Love II Recap

I am soooo behind on my Rock of Love recaps. I think I missed a whole episode. Oh fart. Let's get up to speed, shall we?

Okay, in episode 1, Bret arranged for the ladies to play football in the mud. That way he could dress them in slutty little outfits and watch them get all dirty. Look people, he has no time to think in anything but cliche's, okay?! Anyway, they picked teams and stupid Megan got left out. She is one nasty girl, I tell ya. Not nasty like the strippers but nasty like she is just mean and condescending to every single person she encounters. The game was silly because half of them didn't know anything about football, but Ambre and Daisy played well and had the scars to prove it. Daisy's team ended up winning and she was chosen MVP so she got a private date with Bret. He took her to some sex shop and had her try on various "outfits" for him, like slutty cheerleader or slutty nurse or perhaps, slutty librarian. Hmmm, going to a sex shop on a date with a washed up rockstar is PREDICTABLE, you say?! Again people, CUT HIM SOME SLACK! He has to spend so much time writing and keeping his bandannas on that he has no time for originality, OKAY?! That whole thing went as it you would imagine and then they went to dinner where Daisy proceeded to ask Bret a zillion random questions until he wanted to shove a sock in her mouth. Then they went home. There was also a group date but it must have been boring because I don't remember what happened.
As the night wore on, many of the ladies were becoming worried that they might get kicked out and lose their chance to be Mrs. Bret Michaels, so what came next was a sad parade of needy women crying to Bret about why he should keep them for one more night. But, they have a CONNECTION! Bret decided to shock everyone that night by not eliminating anyone, but he also warned that two would go the next week. Scandal!

In Episode 2, The challenge was a rodeo with Rodeo from last season leading the way. She is freakish and I had to turn away. Anyway, it was similar to the mud bowl, icky conditions, skimpy outfit, you get the idea. Payton and the old lady that looks like a country singer from 1978 were desperate to win because they haven't been on any dates yet. Step it up! Anyway, they sucked too badly and Amber's team won the group date and Jessica was picked for the solo date. Who is Jessica? That's what I said. The group date was just bizarre. Ambre, Kristy Jo and Destiney went to this restaurant that has no lights. Like you eat in the dark. Total darkness. Who thought of this dining concept? I can't even get through a boneless, skinless chicken breast IN THE LIGHT without major inspection before I'll take a bite so this experience would be a nightmare for me. Well apparently in the dark you don't eat, you make out with whoever is next to you and we saw everything thanks to the night vision camera. Kristy Jo went for it and started attacking him while the other girls just yakked on, totally oblivious. What was really gross was when Destiney got up to go to the potty, her skirt had mysteriously made its way up around her waist and they had to actually BLUR OUT HER LADYBITS. Bret was sitting beside her with his hands under the table but SURELY he wasn't making out with Kristy Jo and playing doctor with Destiney AT THE SAME TIME, was he?! Sure he was and even I needed a Purell shower when it was over. Ambre finally made her move when Kristy Jo and Destiney left and she climbed on his lap and just went at it right there. Class-say! They went home, Bret took Kristy Jo back to his room to "talk", the other girls got all mad and jealous and blahblahblah. The solo date was paintballing, because nothing says fun like a good ol' paintball date and it was stupid and boring and I fast-forwarded through most of it. That night he ended up eliminating both Peyton and the 1970's country singer which was kinda sad because they were quite a bit older than the others and you just knew it wasn't going to be them in the end but they were just so hopeful. Maybe they should hook up. The end.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

I swear it's from the eclipse the other night

I just want to caution that this post is LONG, so if you have somewhere to be, you might want to skip it.

Okay, so the portfolio thing. I probably would have enjoyed it more had I not spent the first 6 hours sweating profusely because I was THAT nervous to have my portfolio reviewed. I showed up about an hour early because it said registration started at 9am, and I thought I'd beat the crowd, which turned out to be about 9 people so thank god I rushed. I stood around awkwardly for a while and watched as all these people filed in and formed these little university cliques. It was just like high school. Awesome! I spied a bench across the room with only one girl on it and she looked nice enough so went over and sat down and turns out she was from Meramec. Okay, that's good! However, she turned out to be very strange, and from the moment I sat down, she proceeded to talk to me non-stop about whether a guy named Phil would show up. She spoke to me as though I knew this Phil character and it made me kind of creeped out. I'm sure she was nice but she also seemed a little home-schooled, if you know what I mean so it was really uncomfortable. Well, a girl came in that she knew from Meramec, who also happened to have been in my graphic design one class way back when, so she sat down and we all chatted and she was really nice so I relaxed a little. We both said we were really scared to have our stuff reviewed ( on a side note, Phil's friend was NOT scared; she was excited because she had her ORIGINALS!!! I still don't know what the hell she was talking about) and we both felt like amateurs in this university crowd. The first two hours took place in the auditorium and we had two different speakers. The first was a hipster husband/wife team that talked about Research-Based Design. Oooo, exciting! The second guy was really funny and I liked his whole presentation.

Then we broke for lunch, which was really SUPER fun because my new nice friend had abandoned me for more Meramec students she saw so I ended up sitting next to the weird girl who talked while she was eating so I had to dodge turkey sandwich chunks the whole time. I bailed on her after about 15 minutes and went and sat in my car. After lunch, we went back in the auditorium for an open portfolio review session. That meant you had to put your stuff out on a table for all the other students to look through. Oh yeah, that wasn't totally embarrassing at all. Especially when the university portfolios had like 3-d package design and professional photographs of their work and these amazing books and stuff. That totally did not make me want to snatch up all my stuff and run for the door. Not one bit. AND most of them were annoying faux-hipsters who spent a really long time making sure they looked "arty" and "edgy" for this gig so that everyone knew they were SO FREAKING AWESOME AND ALSO CREATIVE GENIUSES. I did make contact with a man from a pretty prestigious design firm and I don't know why he liked my portfolio but he did, especially a logo I did for a project 2 classes ago that got rejected by the instructor. I put it in at the very last minute because I always liked it and figured I needed more stuff anyway so that was kind of cool. He gave me his card and I gave him mine. Speaking of which, this was the business card I designed. I didn't have much time to think about it so I will probably change it but people seemed to take them.

(Sorry internet psychos but you can't have my info)
After the open session, we broke into groups with the speakers, which was cool because I got the funny guy and by this point I was ready to go home and he kept it lively so it wasn't all "we're serious designers, people." I finally got to my solo review session after that. Holy lord I was a wreck. It wasn't organized very well so you basically just walked into this big room and there were tables lined up with 2 reviewers at them and you were just supposed to go in and pick someone. That was stupid. Anyway, I picked this guy for absolutely no reason and when I sat down and saw his name, I realized he had come to one of my art classes to speak once. He was really nice as a person but he was kind of harsh on my work so it wasn't a great start. He was more interested in seeing my sketch book than the portfolio. He did give me feedback to work with but jesus, after you hear negative after negative, you start to wonder if you've done ANYTHING right. We had 20 min. with each reviewer but he went over and by time I got up to move on, most everyone else was already seated with someone. I saw an open guy at the next table and sat down and then realized that it was the same guy I had talked to earlier. He liked my stuff okay and he didn't really seem interested in pointing out technical mistakes so it was kind of awkward because we finished up quickly. To avoid anymore awkward silences, I started asking loads of questions about what they look for in hiring a designer and what things I should keep and he did give me some good input on that stuff. The last guy I picked simply because he was also nearby and I was so frazzled at this point that I just wanted to be done. Turns out, he is a design teacher at freaking Meramec. Just great. Obviously he was very familiar with many of my projects and he also started nice but then dug in sharply. He, of course, pointed out my technical mistakes, which I fully admit to having, and he ripped on one of the projects I thought was really good. ZING. Some of the things he pointed out was stuff that I had originally done but had been advised to change by MY teacher so once again I am left wondering what the hell, who do I believe? One guy loved my jazz poster as it was but the other guy wanted me to change the whole layout. Another hated one of the posters that I had just gotten good feedback about 10 minutes earlier. I have about 4-5 pieces that they all seemed to like but the rest I don't know about. After the session, I grabbed everything and bolted for the parking lot. whew.
I'm glad I was brave and went but I'm more confused then ever as to whether I'm really cut out for this. I know that you can't please everyone but if I'm competing with those people I saw there, I'm effed.
Yeah, great weekend! Sick dog and a good ego smashing. Fabulous!

Friday, February 22, 2008


Today is not a good day. I was awakened at 4:30am by my sweet little dog Cleo, who was having what we thought at the time was a seizure. I took her to the vet this morning and they found that she is in congestive heart failure and she has fluid build-up in her lungs making it hard to breathe. The seizure we thought she had was actually kind of a mini heart attack. They are treating her right now with Lasix to try and reduce the fluid in her body and we are scheduled for an EKG on Tuesday. The main thing we're worried about is the episode she had last night. If she continues to have them, they will eventually stop her heart. I'm very, very sad and we are really unsure as to what's going to happen from here. We're going to just stay with her until we talk to the vet again. She's kinda old, 13, but she's been with me through everything, and I mean EVERYTHING and the notion of losing her right now is a lot to deal with so I'm kind of a wreck, which will be great for my portfolio thingy tomorrow.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

ice, ice baby

What a weird day. I woke up and everything is covered in ice. I suppose that watching the news every now and again would help but it's just so depressing. I was hoping campus would be closed but nooooo, it was open, so I trudge through this crap to get there and then they end up closing it anyway. I did spend my time there wisely and was able to print out a bunch of stuff for Saturday. I was STILL having problems with my files since school runs CS2 and I have CS3 at home and I don't understand why they don't upgrade the school's programs so this isn't an issue since they SELL CS3 only. It's a mystery to me. It's a mystery to me in the same way that you have to hit the Fanta button to get a Diet Coke and the Diet Coke button to get a Sprite on the vending machine at school. These things can apparently never be solved. Get me Angela Lansbury on the phone!

I'm off to do homework. Again.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


Oh boisies. Today has not gone well for me. Nothing majorly big and nasty happened but I've been followed by a small string of minor incidents that have now compounded to form a big ball of poo. Not literally, silly. I spent a LOT of time this weekend working on and improving my past projects so that I can print them this week and have some semblance of a portfolio so I don't look like a complete douche at the review board thing this weekend. I don't know what I did but I'm 99% sure it's "user error" since I get all flustered and hivey when dealing with computer files and I usually find fun and creative ways to improperly save things. First, nothing would open at school and the stuff that I fiddled with enough to open didn't show ANY of the changes I had made. I spent almost the entire time in my first class trying to scrape these stupid files together and it just went from bad to worse and now I have like 6 copies of everything. Totally not a big deal when they're all the same name, right? Needless to say, I had to reschedule my portfolio meeting with Evann and now have to squeeze in trying to fix all this crap while I try to think of candy bar names for class tomorrow. Yay, candy bars. Fun, right? No, it's not fun. Why, you ask? Well, there's one awesome chick and one cripplingly annoying girl in my candy bar group and I'm not sure I have my wits about me enough to refrain from telling the annoying girl where to shove it. This hasn't had to happen yet but I'm familiar with this girl and trust, it WILL happen and I will have no choice. First off, let me say that she is not "special" or "differently-abled" nor does she have a learning disability or anything. She's just naturally bizarre and makes weird noises and when you try to talk to her she's all spastic and babbles in some elf language and she gets really worked up about silly crap. I've had her in several classes and during our critiques, if you try to actually CRITIQUE her work she gets all defensive and blabbers on about how it's not HER fault and GAWD, DON'T BE SO MEAN. Thank god for awesome chick or I would be insane.

God, enough whining already. Hope your day is filled with sunshine and ponies.

Monday, February 18, 2008


Holy baloney, I'm freaking out. I just spoke to our social worker and we are official. We have our first home study visit on March 8! I called Jeff to tell him and we are both excited and about to crap our pants at the same time. After this initial visit, we have one more interview each and then the paperwork will be sent off and we'll be waiting for our picture!!!!!! I've been pretty calm about this whole home study business up to this point but I'm not calm anymore. I am freaking out and now I'm looking around here and realizing that we have A LOT to do in the next three weeks. A lot. I have a whole basement that needs to be cleaned out and a toilet in my backyard. No, I take that back. I have THREE toilets in my backyard. Don't ask.

oh my lord. it's totally happening!

Yeah, you're in the right place.

Woah! I know, I know. Don't be alarmed. This IS Kimchi Central. I got kinda tired of looking at the same blog day in and day out so I decided to make some changes. I'm in a reversed-out-type phase right now and wanted to bring it to my blog world. I hope you all like it. It's more dramatic, isn't it? Fitting. I also like the little color dots. Very poppy. Enough chitchat......

This was a weird weekend. We went to my friend Phil's wake and funeral. Unfortunately, I've been to many funerals in the last 10 years or and it's always the younger person's that really breaks my heart. I've also noticed that the younger the person who died, the larger the crowd that comes to pay their respects and Phil's was no different. It was JAMMED! I'm really glad to see that because it just shows how many people he touched in his life but it was super sad and just seeing his wife Sarah standing up there by him was gutting. The funeral itself was lovely and full of tears and laughter, thanks to an awesome priest. He was appropriately funny and sad and I can totally see why you would want to go listen to his mass. The eulogies were also very sad but peppered with funny stories about Phil, including one from his son about Phil's intense desire to own a boat. I learned a lot about him this weekend and I think that his last gift to us all was the reconnecting that so many people did. I saw people that I hadn't seen in ages and a few in particular that I hope to really stay in touch with (I'm talkin to you Chrissy). I hope that he is in a happy place now and I hope his family can start to put the pieces back together.

I'd also like to send a big shout out to the dead presidents that gave me the day off. I spent the majority of my free time doing homework over the weekend and sadly, today is no different aside from the fact that I got to sleep in, which is a fantastic thing. I'm feeling pretty prepared for my portfolio review this weekend. I only have one project left to tweak and then I'm meeting with Evann this week to make sure it all looks good. I say I'm prepared but I'm also scared out of my mind and I hope I can refrain from making in ass of myself. I also have regular homework that I haven't even touched yet, so really my day off isn't a day off. wah-wah for me. Okay, enough whining and procrastinating. I have to get to work.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Lost Recap

OH.MY.GOD. I just watched Lost from last night. I don't even know what to say. Let's rundown:

-It was Sayid-centric tonight, so we now know he's one of the Oceanic 6. It starts with him murdering someone on a golf course after he reveals who he is. We do not know who this man is he killed. Or at least I don't. We move on to his forward-story and he seems to be some sort of hired killer. He falls for the woman who works for the man he needs to kill and then she ends up turning on him and shooting him. I liked the "I'm playing her but then she played me" twist. Well played, indeed. I'll get back to this situation in a minute.

-Locke has gone totally Rambo-loco and I'm pissed that Hurley would trick our peeps. I still don't know what Locke knows and whether or not Ben has told him things that haven't been revealed. He obviously has no plans to leave the island and neither does Sawyer. I don't believe that Kate stayed on her own accord but maybe she did since Juliette is with Jack.

-Where was the cabin? WHO IN THE HELL IS IN THE CABIN?

-What does the bracelet mean? Who is R.G.? Naomi and Elsa had the same bracelet on. Obviously they work for the same people and both planned to kill the Oceanic survivors but why?

-How did Sayid get so freaking hot? I'm not a fan of his curls on the island but the flash-forward hair was outstanding. He is now ranked with Desmond and the online dude as the hottest on the show.

-What is the signifigance of the time difference on that beacon? It seems to me that whatever the coordinates were that they followed to get there lead through some kind of time warping situation. The scientist knows something is up. Why is he staying and why is Charlotte staying? I guess they figure they can leave anytime but I don't think that's true.

-Nice secret dressing room, Ben. I didn't know that California Closets serviced mysterious islands in the South Pacific. Good to know.

-Back to the whole Sayid getting shot thing.......Sayid gets shot, calls someone and drags his shot-up self to a..... vet's office? We hear who he is coming to see and withing a few words I realized it was Ben. I first thought it would be Jack and I thought, "awww, that's nice. He gave up the drink and became a nice vet." Then I realized it was Ben and then we find that Sayid is working for him to "help his friends"? UM....WHAT? WHY IS BEN IN CHARGE IN THE FUTURE? HOW DID HE GET OFF THE ISLAND? WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THOMAS DOLBY? WHY AM I YELLING? I almost fell off my chair when he went to the vet's office and Ben was there to fix him up. Literally almost on the floor. Poor Sayid, crying over having to pop a cap in his lady friend. All I know is that is Ben some how ends up victorious when this is over I'm going to be extremely pissed.

This was BY FAR the most insane episode I have seen. I'm sure there's stuff I forgot to mention but I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. I need a tylenol.

Swirly, round thing

Fridays are my easy day at school. I have one 3.5 hr class and that's it. We've been working on designing a 2009 calendar, which I had intended on working on in class today, but our teacher had different plans for us. He decided to suspend our project to give us one day to submit a design for a program that the St. Louis Public Library is starting. If our design makes it past the other designer's at his firm, they will submit it to the library people and there's a chance they'll pick one of our designs for their logo. That would be SO AWESOME! It is supposed to appeal to 12-17 yr. old kids. I have no idea what 12-17 yr old kids like. I don't even really understand what the hell myspace is so I'm kind of out of my territory on this. I do know they want something fun and colorful, which I covered. I liked the design I came up with in the end and while I don't think it'll win, I still think it's kinda cool. Here is it:

A few other students had some pretty cool ideas as well. Man, sometimes I look at some of the work that comes out of my classes and I'm so impressed. There are a few stinkers (okay, more than a few) but the majority of them really produce some nice work.
Meh, we'll see what happens.

Eerie, and not in the canal way

This is my horoscope for today:

'A thing of beauty,' they say, 'is a joy forever.' Indeed. And, of course, the reverse applies. Anything that brings us joy is beautiful, in its own way, regardless of what it looks like. Thankfully, we don't all appreciate life from the same point of view. We admire and desire very different things. Why then, do you need a second opinion to vindicate your own deepest feeling now? Trust what you believe, what you suspect and what you instinctively understand.

Holy bajoley. I swear that the horoscope man is LIVING IN MY HEAD, which I'm sure is already overcrowded with all the other people living in my head. I hope they can all get along.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy not THAT VD.

Happy Valentine's Day my darling readers. I hope each of you feel the love today. Even if it's from yourself. wink, wink. I keed, I keed. No seriously, happy v-day.

I had a portfolio meeting today and I'm starting to get REALLY nervous about graduating. We were shown examples of resumes and HOLY LORD, they were intimidating. I forgot that in this field, you don't follow the same old resume standards. You have to WOW them! What if they say "WOW, that's crap." Then what? I wowed them. All it means is that I now have yet one more thing that I have to add to the list of "Things I need to do but since my brain has stopped working, I haven't done yet", which is a really long list. She also talked to us about going to this graphic design conference at Maryville University where they are offering a portfolio review session. She mentioned it in our first meeting but no one seemed interested in going so I figured I'd blow it off, but she brought it up again today and seemed peeved that nobody is taking it seriously enough to go. So I felt the Catholic guilt rise up, of course, and next thing I knew I was registered. That means that in one week I have to compile enough stuff to take with me so I seem professional enough to be hired. I'm actually kind of glad I'm going and I'm going to fly my nerd flag high. In general this stuff usually freaks me out because I don't want to be laughed out of the place but I'm doing it anyway. Screw you laugher outers! I checked the participants list and many of the students that are registered are from Maryville or Wash U. so I'm sure my community college work will be just fine. No pressure at all. Oh, and that sound you hear? No, it's not the wind, it's all my free time blowing out the window.

I also had another interesting experience on campus today. The school is always having some kind of event going on where they give out free food so we usually try to take advantage. Today was a Valentine's Day party in the student center, which I did not know existed until we went there. My campus is very diverse, which is one of the reasons I like going there, and I am friends with people of different races, nationalities and backgrounds. Well, when we walked into the student center today it was set up like an urban nightclub with pool tables and a DJ playing the rap music and people dancing and stuff, which was all really cool. I was with a group of about 6 people, 2 of which were black and the rest of us were white. When we walked in, I totally felt like one of those movies where the white guy walks into the club and the record scratches and the music stops and everyone stares at the white guy. I was that white guy today. We walked in and I swear that everyone looked at us like "what the hell are you doing here?" It was really kind of funny and weird. I wonder if anyone else felt that way? I would have stayed longer to watch them dance, but I just felt uncomfortable. Maybe it's just me.

Anyhoo, I'm off to do homework. We're making a fancy dinner tonight and watching movies so I have to make sure I'm done for the day soon. Adios.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

That house is crawling with VD.

We had a slight Tivo malfunction and Rock of Love was not recorded on Sunday. We had to wait until last night to watch, so my recap is late. I'm sorry but if you're watching this show too, your standards are obviously pretty low and you shouldn't care. Onward....

This whole episode should have been named "Crazy Whores Going Loco Over Washed Up Rocker" because that's all it was. The challenge involved building a custom bike but that whole thing was boring and Inna, the gigantic amazon woman won a solo date. yawn. They went on a ride and had lunch in some strip mall and blah blah blah. That part sucked. HOWEVER, the real drama was going on in the house. Aubrey was all mad that Bret shunned her by not sticking his tongue down her throat, so she went to him and complained about it like an old haggy wife. She seemed nice and all but JEEPERS! Not only did Aubrey have a mental breakdown, but Kristy Jo also decided that she was going to tap into the 'crazy lady" area of her brain and cry to Bret about her baggage at home. And she ain't talking about her luggage, people. She is still legally married to someone she met like 7 minutes after she left her FIRST husband AND she has a kid by one of them. She's afraid that Bret won't want to deal with all this crap. Um hello, NO GUY would want to deal with this crap, especially one that has his pick of all the finest skanks in LA. Needless to say there was a lot of crying and by the elimination round, Kristy Jo was a blubbering mess. First she wants to leave, then she wants to stay and then she doesn't know what she wants. Ugh. During the elimination, while KJ was having a mini-meltdown, Aubrey thinks she's staying and KJ's going home and just can't see her "best friend" so upset so she decided to dramatically sacrifice herself and walk away. The best part is that they had done a 50's style pin-up photo shoot earlier so she had this weird hair and 50 lbs. of makeup on and she looked ridiculous. She was all crying and acting like she "gave" Kristy Jo her spot and it was just embarrassing to watch. The best part was when she left the house and Bret held up the final pass he was holding and it had KJ's name on it!!! That means that Aubrey was going anyway and her little performance was for NOTHING! I'm sure Bret wanted to tell her this but he was being nice and letting her have her say. I swear, these women just typify the stereotype that women are blubbering emotional messes considering they are THIS emotional about someone they've known for 5 DAYS!

I can't wait for next week.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Goodbye Phil

My friend Phil died yesterday. He was only in his early 40's. LM called me with the news last night. Dying sucks. Period. No matter when or how or who, it just sucks on a scale so ridiculous that we're left with no other choice than to run from it. He left behind a darling wife and a son as well as a family that is devastated. This comes on the heels of a terrible shooting here that left 5 people dead. I remember thinking how awful it must have been for the families to have gotten that call that your loved one was suddenly taken from you. A dear friend I used to work with had this happen with her father. He had a heart attack and died. Just like that. Just like Phil. She didn't get to say goodbye and she is left holding on to the last moments she had with him. I'm sure that Phil's wife is feeling the same way and my heart breaks for her. I can't even begin to imagine that happening to Jeff nor can I conceive of how I would even begin to deal with it.

Liz and I were discussing how as we get older, we have begun to worry more about this kind of stuff. We worry that we'll get a disease or that someone we love will or someone will have an accident or whatever and how will we make it without them? I lost my grandma about 18 mos. ago, and I had been preparing myself for that moment since I was 10 but it didn't make it easier. And I even got to say goodbye. Is this what getting older means? My grandma used to read the obituaries every day because she said that at her age, this is how she kept up with her friends. We used to laugh about it but it was kind of true. I never feel my age (3 weeks to 34, for the record. And I do like presents.) until something like this happens and suddenly you're clutching to every minute you have. Death makes you take a cold hard look at life. It makes you realize how life moves along so incredibly quickly that we fall in and out of touch with people before we know it. Even people you were close to. Phil and I were close for a period of time, but as it happens, situations change and people change and next thing you know, you've lost touch. That's how I felt last night. I immediately remembered the nights me and LM and Phil would go out to listen to "Double Dutch Bus" and dance and we had such a good time. Then I remembered that the last time I saw him, which was just a few weeks ago, I only said hello and goodbye. It's hard to stay in touch sometimes and I think it's a natural progression to move on as we grow and change. Change is a double edge sword. Life is nothing without change, good or bad, but it does take it's victims. I'm thankful every day that I have the friends I have because I know that even though I'll meet people along the way at school or work or whatever, they'll probably fade away in time, but I know that I will always have my true friends with me and I love them for that. Phil's wife is now surrounded with all of their friends so she can feel his spirit through them and their memories and I think it's a lovely thing. I think today is a good time to look around and be thankful for those people that are still with us, through this long haul called life and hold them close, even if it's only for today.

We'll miss you, Phil.

Monday, February 11, 2008


This is my horoscope for today:

You are following a particular plan for a very specific reason. You may not yet be getting much by way of a result, but that doesn't mean you are making a mistake. Good things take time. Very good things take an awful lot of time. When you are standing on top of a mountain, it is easy to plot a route through the valley ahead. When you are down in those dales, it is hard to remember quite how far you could once see. Yet you are nearer now to your destination than you were before.

Good golly, this could apply to SO MUCH of my situation right now. Words to live by, people.

Friday, February 8, 2008

I need a suckage meter.

I am so frustrated right now. You see, there is this teacher I have that I truly believe does not care for me. I have no proof of this other than a general negative vibe I've picked up from him. I didn't care at first but now I do care because I have come to value his opinion as a designer. That being said, he doesn't seem to care for any of my work either. Remember the Cabaret poster from yesterday's post? Well, I was really proud of it and my class and my other teacher all gave me positive feedback overall but today, when I asked him what he thought of it, he was like, "meh, it's okay." Now, I know that I live in a bubbling cesspool of low self esteem mixed with zero self-confidence, so this MAY be more in my head than not, but I know that it's at least partially true. I made him come to the hall today and pick out EXACTLY what is was that he did not like about the poster. He pointed out some general stuff like spacing and sizing, stuff that is mostly just tweaking, but he questioned a larger element that I had in it. I explained why it was there (my GD teacher suggested it) and what it was supposed to symbolize but he wasn't sold. I feel like I'm retarded. I feel like I'm too old to do this crap and that I'm not going to be able to get a good job because my work isn't good enough. I don't want to just be a graphic designer, I want to be a GOOD graphic designer but if I can't trust my own self in regards to the level of suckage a project has, what am I to do? Maybe I should just go back to the cube farm where being creative is not required nor encouraged.

Lost Recap

Okay Lost fans, we have only 6 episodes left and once again, we were left with more questions than answers. Why am I surprised? Lost is like a bad boyfriend, all selfish and smug but just intriguing enough to keep you coming back for more. Ahhh....why can't I quit you, Lost?

Anyway, here's the rundown:

- Well, they found the wreckage of the plane somewhere in the Java Trench near the coast of Indonesia. That's interesing since that same plane is actually on an island. Clearly, we now have the airline itself involved in this whole thing but why? What do they have to do with it? Are they related to Dharma somehow and does this confirm the theory that they were all put on that exact plane for an exact purpose and why does that airline man scare the crap out of me?

-Who the HOLY HELL are these people and what do they want with Ben? We have a physicist, an archeologist, a ghost hunter and a drunk pilot. That sounds like the start of a joke. We know that the archeologist found a polar bear skeleton with a Dharma collar and seemed to know what it was and the physicist was crying over the wreckage footage for no apparent reason. Those things are both very weird. The ghostbuster seems like a loose cannon and that picture he showed Jack of Ben was obviously taken off the island when Ben was an adult and possibly working in some office or something, so WHAT THE HELL? Again, this all points me to the theory that there is time travel involved. Maybe they were all supposed to be on the plane but Ben somehow intervened and sent someone else in their place? But how? And why do they seem to hate Ben so much?

-Hurley is acquiring some sort of power. When he mentioned the "cabin" being the other way, Locke and Ben both shot the other a look of "OMG! Did you hear that? HE KNOWS." The only people that can see the cabin are somehow tied to the island. This is going to become very important I suspect.

-Go Sayid and Juliette! That was awesome when Jack told them they were surrounded and Miles was all cocky and all "What am I, stupid?"then POW, they shot at them. Sweet! The biggest mystery to me about these new people, aside from the above mentioned things, is that they really didn't seem surprised to see the survivors. Even when asked, they seemed nonchalant. Why? The airline man told Naomi that there were no survivors so they should have been at least a teeny bit shocked, no? That is weird.

- Where was Desmond? He is too hot to not be in every episode, brotha.

- Is the island haunted? Is that why they sent a ghostbuster in? Are they hoping he can communicate with Jacob, perhaps?

- Where is Richard and the rest of Ben's group? We haven't seen them in a loooong time and with as much tramping around the island that they've done along with helicopters landing and parachuters flying down, you would think they would have run in to each other at some point. Did I forget something from last season? Didn't Ben and Alex leave them behind to go stop the others from leaving? That means that there still on the island somewhere, right? Something's not right with that.

-According to the show, the polar bear was found in Tunisia, which is in Africa, but the wreckage was found in the Java (Sunda) Trench, which is off the coast of Indonesia. Those places are not near each other. Does that mean that either of those places are where the island is or are we being misled?

I decided to nerd out last week and went online to play the new Lost game/story at It's actually kinda interesting and there are all these scenes that tie into the regular plot. In a nutshell, there is a guy named Sam that is looking for 815 because his girlfriend was one of the flight attendants. Sam has been collecting info and getting weird clues that land him on the Christiane I, a freighter ship, in the Sunda trench. The whole beginning of the show with the underwater rover camera finding the plane ties directly back to the game. Well, when I played it last week, Sam was still on the freighter and they were still looking for the wreckage. However, there was a man on the freighter, I think it might have been the guy running it, that seemed awfully suspect and Sam sensed it as well. Interestingly, last night they mentioned that same freighter as the one waiting for them and the same one Ben said he has a mole on. I assume the mole is the same suspicious man. If that's the case, I hope they bring the online cast and the show cast together because the guy playing Sam is SUPER HOT. He is seriously very hot. Hotter than Jack or Sawyer. Yeah, I said it. And he's Australian. Double hot. Anyway, if I find time today, I might hop online and play some more. I'll post any clues I find.

That's it. I'm off to school.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Life IS a cabaret.

Sweet jumpin' Jesus. I swear that someone is speeding up time and making me stressed out. It's already Thursday but my brain thinks it's still Tuesday. I like being busy but holy lord, not this busy and I realized today that I am falling a bit behind in my projects, all 5 of them. I'm usually able to keep it just above the line but this semester is wacko. We have a new graphic design teacher and he's really cool and it's great to have another perspective on your work, especially someone who runs his own firm, however, he is not yet wise to the ways of community college, where our motto many times is, "Eh, that's good enough." I don't mean our work, which is totally awesome, I mean the fact that whenever we are trying to print out a project, it always goes wrong for someone. Today that was me. I have been working for weeks on this theater poster:

Long story short, the printer kept printing it with these lines running through it and it took a long while to figure out the problem. These posters are large and it takes 10 minutes to print one, so my little "issue" set the bulk of the class back since I had to print 4 until we got one that I could mount. You're welcome, class. The bigger problem here is that I'm worried we are going to spend too much time messing with this kind of crap and not enough time actually working so it'll be a mad dash at the end AND I have yet another class adding on after spring break. People, get it together. I was hoping to have some extra time to experiment with some cake designs, but I just can't seem to get to it. I wanted to make 2 cakes next month for some birthdays so I might have to just wing it. I'm always winging it. That's my motto, "Just wing it." Here I am, just sitting here winging it. Anyway, I'm effed.

Oh yeah, either I am unable to work my mouse or the spell check is not working here at blogspot, so please avert your eyes from my misspellings.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Monday, February 4, 2008

I'm wearing a coat in protest

Jesus H Christ. Friday I was off school because of a snowstorm and today it's 65 degrees. Oh sweet mother weather, why can't you make up your mind? We had a very small superbowl party yesterday and I was using a large snowdrift on the deck as a fridge for my beer and this morning they were all laying on their sides on the bare wood. What? I also had to deal with frizzy hair today, which is a plague on my existence during the entire summer so I relish not having it in FEBRUARY but yet I had it in February and now my hair is confused. This can't be good for me. My hair's been angry before and it frightens people. BE WARNED.

As I mentioned, we had a very small superbowl party. It was less a "party" and more like us and my friends LM and Gwen, in sweatpants, on the couch eating. We are not what you would call "wild and crazy" these days. I don't know when that happened but it did. Anyway, I usually don't really watch the game because I usually don't know or care who's playing, but CRIKEY, that was an exciting game! I was rooting for the Giants because I think that Tom Brady is a douchebag and because they might have cheated on us in the Superbowl and I don't like cheaters. Unless it's the show "Cheaters" because that is TV GOLD! When Jeff and I first started dating, like the third date, we went to my friend Thom's annual superbowl party. Well, it was Thom's parent's party and we just showed up and ate the food but whatever, it was great. Well, Jeff and I were secretly dating (I'll explain this at another time; just know it happened) and all of our friends were going to be there but no one knew of our secret mexican telenova-style forbidden romance. My friend Liz knew but no one else. Okay, so we were trying to be all sly and sneaky and when the Rams won it was REALLY exciting and everyone jumped up and screamed at the same time but we forgot we were being secret and we started hugging and stuff and later my friend K told me that she suspected something was up since I didn't try and make out with any of our other friends. True story.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Lost Recap

Okay, I'm going to start a new feature here at Kimchi Central called "Lost Recap." I know, I know, the name is very clever and it took me a few hours to come up with that little gem so don't rip it off! Obviously, this means there will be spoilers so if you didn't watch, don't read this. Just scroll on by. Go ahead. See you later.

Okay? You've been warned.

Holy crapfountain. I was certain that they would hit us with something good and I did think it was a bit weird at first but then it got good. REALLY good. Let's rundown, shall we:

1. As we learned last season, they DO get off the island. However, we only know that Jack, Kate and Hurley get off for sure, so who comprises the rest of the "Oceanic 6"? Where are the rest of them? Are they still on the island? Is that the big "secret" that Hurley might tell? Are they dead? I think this is the absolute giant question right now. What happend to the rest of them. Desmond had a vision last season of Claire and Aaron getting into a helicopter, so can we assume that they are two of the six? That leaves 1 slot open, right? Are Desmond's visions for real?

2. Who does Naomi work for and how did she manage to crawl away, climb a giant tree and attack Kate like a giant monkey with a HATCHET STICKING OUT OF HER GUT? Clearly she and her people are not good but who do they work for since Ben is also afraid of them? Maybe they're part of the original Dharma project.

3. Why did they need to "relocate their signal"? That seems very fishy. Not that we trust them anyway but that had a very ominous feel about it and I think Kate is suspicious.

4. Speaking of Kate, good for her to go off and follow her own instincts. I do think that the Naomi "protecting" them was a farce to try and win her trust, which seemed to work. Also, how does her hair always look so great? I have thuosands of hair products at my disposal and yet she has perfectly managed curls. That is totally not fair. My hair would have morphed into some kind of people-eating bush at this point.

5. So Hurley can see things and then make them disappear. Does that mean they're really there or are they in his head? I don't think it's in his head, I think he can freaking time travel or something. Maybe they all can now. OH SNAP! That cabin freaked me out and the whole Jacob in the rocker is just CREEPY. We'd better get more info on him stat! I was also freaked out by the airline man that went to see Hurely in the nuthouse. "Are you really FINE Hugo?" Yikes!

6. How did Locke just come upon Hurley? That was weird. I know Locke is "special" but how? I'm special too but you don't see me all prophety and self-curing of paralysis and crap.

7. Okay, we see future Jack and he's all freaking out and wasted, which would indicate that his plan was not a good one and yet when we see him with Hurley, he's looking good and Hurley is the one apologizing for going with Locke. So, does that mean that Locke IS right since we see Jack deteoriate later on or is Jack right and we're we seeing the scenes out of order? Time travel is so confusing. Yeah, I said it, TIME TRAVEL, people. This HAS to be about time travel in some way. Also, who did Juliet go with? When the helicopter showed up it was just Kate and Jack. Wouldn't Juliet have goen with them? Did I miss something?

8. How SUPER HOT was Charlie when he came back from the dead? He's no Desmond, but dang, that hobbit went from geek to chic! Too bad he's dead. Or is he? Or maybe they can time travel back to change it? Who needs Hurley's help? Is Charlie real and sending a real message or is Hurley just gone Britney-style?

9. Since Hurley saw Jacob in the chair and Locke saw Jacob in the chair but Ben cannot see Jacob at all, does that mean that whoever can see Jacob is "special"? Is Jacob alive, dead or God? Who's face popped up in the window?

10. Again, who is in the coffin? I'm thinking it's Ben but I have no basis for that other than the fact that no one else came and he would have had no family. I still think that Walt and Michael are going to have to make some sort of appearance and maybe it's one of them. They went out of their way to make it appear "urban". We still have to know if Michael and Walt REALLY left the island and if they did, what have they been doing? How could they just let them leave? I don't think it happened but I do think they'll show up again.

11. (I'm like Spinal Tap so I'm going to 11!) A few extra points. Why did Hurley deny knowing Ana Lucia? He could have just said she didn't survive the crash. Why didn't Desmond speak up and tell them about Charlie and Penny in the water hatch? And oh my god, I totally teared up when Hurley told Claire that Charlie was dead. That was very, very sad.

Thanks Lost, for answering zero questions and asking a gazillion more. Feel free to comment and we can discuss.