I fancy myself a bit of a painter from time to time and my work usually revolves around abstract color studies or some kind of weird shape or something. I currently have a small series of art pieces that revolve around slang terms and pop culture references and how the innocent word or phrase can be made offensive. As I have stated before, I am a fan of offensive art (to a point) so it isn't a negative take on it, more of a tongue in cheek type of thing. I also like big art. Like REALLY big art that takes up a whole wall. Which is odd because as I also mentioned before, I have an abnormal obsession with things that are ridiculously small. For instance, we were at Home Depot the other night and when we walked in there were these boxes with a sign that said "miniature tools $1.99". SOLD! I came home with a itty bitty pair of pliers. For what purpose you ask? I have no idea but that isn't the point. I'm also a big fan of airline bottles of liquor and those squatty little bottles of condiments that you get at hotels.
Anyway, back to my story about how I like big art. I am usually broke and don't have a lot of cash to spend on big canvases and such so I have, to this point, created paintings and stuff that are about 24" max. I'm also way too lazy to stretch my own canvas so I'm a slave to the man. I had a job at an art supply store last year and learned that they have a big sale every year and you can buy canvases in quantity for a HUGE discount. Jeff was all "go get gigantic canvases" and I did, but the biggest I got was about 36" X 48". Big, but not super big. Then I hit the motherload. My friend Sam had acquired a HUGE canvas and had no place to put it in his apartment and sold it to me for $50. This canvas would have sold for WAY more in the store but Sam is a peach and didn't even want me to pay for it but I insisted. Well, I was so excited and had the perfect place to put it and was all jacked up to paint on it. The problem is that I haven't been able to. Well that's not true. I have painted on it 4 times now and nothing is working. I think that I'm so obsessed with making it something spectacular because it's so big that I freeze up. It now sits in my basement with my last attempts scrawled on it, taunting me to try again. This freaking thing haunts me! I have since painted several other smaller pieces that I am perfectly happy with but I can't seem to get it right on the monster. It is perplexing to me. I'm giving it another go this week because the plan is for it to hang in my fancy new dining room and at this rate the room will be done before the stupid painting.