Okay, I need to stop watching goddamn Lost because it is turning me into a paranoid conspiracy theorist. I had to venture out today to get an oil change and I was waiting to get on the highway and took note of the car in front of me. It was an Infiniti G35 or whatever and the passengers were two men with business shirts on. I know, it's riveting but stay with me. I went and got the oil change ( along with a heads-up about a freaking NAIL in my tire, thankyouverymuch) and I went to Lowes to get grout. When I was getting off the highway to come home, I happened to notice the car in front of me. It was an Infiniti G35. Upon futher inspection, I saw that it was the SAME one from before and still contained two men in business shirts. What does this mean, you ask? That is the same question I asked myself as I waited for the dang light to change and I concluded that it means absolutely nothing. It's a random coincidence. BUT IT'S STILL WEIRD.
On a related note, just to further demonstrate my paranoia, the other day I got an email from DHL saying that a package had been sent to me from someone called E. Reynolds. I don't know any E. Reynolds and the prospect of a package from that person was alarming. Jeff pointed out that perhaps it was a graduation present but I reminded him that I do not know any E. Reynolds so why would a random person send me a package via DHL?! I tried to track it but nothing came up which just made it worse. I figured that I would get a big box with a head in it or some shit. Great. That's just what I need. A bloody head. Anyway, I freaked out on it a bit and then forgot about it until Jeff called me yesterday. This was the convo:
Jeff: Hey remember the mysterious DHL package you were worried about? You know, the head you are supposedly getting in the mail?
me: Yes, I am aware of this.
Jeff: Well, your sister tracked down the package.
me: "gasp" REALLY?! Who the hell sent it?
Jeff: Well, your sister said the info was "TJ Low Body" and it IS from an E. Reynolds.
me: WHAT THE HELL?! A body?
Jeff: Um yeah, remember the Turbo Jam Lower Body workout DVD you bought on Amazon Marketplace the other day? Yeah hon, you do the math.
me: "silent pause" I guess that means there's no severed head, huh?
And he stays married to me. That's the real lesson here. Not that I'm paranoid over receiving severed heads in the mail, it's that he understands this about me and still loves me.
I'm still keepin' my eye on that Infiniti, though.