Lost Recap

Yay! A Lost recap that isn't a week old. GO ME! Enough celebrating. The important thing is that I had to watch the last 20 minutes from the EDGE OF MY FREAKING COUCH because it was so mind-blowing. I audibly gasped many, many times and I CANNOT wait until next week. With so much to discuss, where do I even start? I'm gonna break it down but I'm warning you, grab a drink and maybe some food because this sucker is gonna be LOOOOONG. Come on then..........

-Let's talk about John Locke, shall we? So his mommy was a teen hobag who got knocked up by a MUCH older man, at least according to her 1940's stern look of a mother, and gave him up. While the very caring grandmother lights up in the hospital room while casually asking about adopting him out, we see a man watching. On further inspection, it's FREAKING RICHARD. Next, we see him in a home with siblings, presumably his adopted home, and he gets another visit from the eternally youthful and slightly creepy Richard. He is going to "test" John for a special school (AKA Dharma) and lays a bunch of objects out and asks John which ones are his. He picks a vial of sand (?), a compass and a scary looking knife. When he chooses the knife, Richard tried to get him to not take it but John insists it's his and Richard gets mad, tells him he isn't ready and splits. WTF?! I'm very glad we saw this but I think we could have used just a teeny bit more context. What is the significance of the objects? Why is the knife bad and what does it symbolize, if anything? Did Ben get this same test and that's how he came to the island? We have to assume yes, since he referenced it later, referring to himself as being "chosen." Fast forward again and we see John as a teenager, a nerdy one at that, and he is being told that he can't change who he is which apparently is a mathlete or something, which isn't what he wants to be but it is what fate has planned for him. This was a pivotal scene. Fate has been a long-running theme in this show and this really confirms to me that this will turn out to be a major part of this whole convoluted story. Humans have longed to believe that we can do anything we put our minds to but what if that isn't true and we are unable to change our predetermined fate. It's kind of bleak, no? What would happen if we KNEW our fates before we lived them out? How would that change humanity? I think it would totally destroy humanity because we would have no reason to strive for anything and we would probably just lie down and take it. Or is it better that we spend our lives in a giant hamster wheel running and running to try and do something that we are not destined to do and therefore will never succeed in doing? Should we feel failure in what we cannot accomplaish or should we just accept it as something we simply are not meant to do and move on? "Le sigh" This show is making me depressed. Okay, forward again and we see John after his "accident" and the creepy man from the airline is now his orderly and he tells him to go on his walk-about, which is how he got on the plane in the first place, which, as he said it would do, has changed him. WHAT? I can't even process this part. Who is this man? A prophet? Part of Dharma? Seal?

- Back on the island we have two things happening, crazy shit's going down on the freighter and John, Ben and Hurley are looking for Jacob's cabin. Let's tackle the former. The chopper lands with the army dudes, including one that had been mangled by the smoke monster and the Jimmy Buffet pilot. Main army dude is PISSED that someone ratted him out to Ben, which further confirms that Ben holds some MAJOR power and this guy is scared. He accuses the captain and then figured out it's Michael, who is chained up in a room. Army dude bursts in, confronts him, breaks his leg (ouch) and Michael fesses up. He can't kill him because he has to fix the engines that he broke and we know that Michael can't die anyway so GO MICHAEL. The captain realizes that this is all going nutso and wants out but the army dude isn't having it. He demands that Jimmy Buffet fly him back to the island along with enough guns and ammo to kill EVERYONE and EVERYTHING. Sayid realizes what's going on and decides to go and try to warn them. Desmond stays behind because he's stupid and thinks Penny is coming (doubtful, dude) so Sayid takes the wee boat and heads off. Meanwhile, one of the guys mentions that the Losties found the doctor's body washed up on shore with his throat slit. He says this TO THE DOCTOR, who is clearly still alive, which means that the freighter is in a time that is behind the island, right? Well soon enough the throat IS cut and off he goes. The captain tries to stop the chopper, he gets shot and then they're off to go kill the survivors.

-Back to Ben, Hurley and John. After wandering around, they make camp and John is awakened to find a man named Horace, who is chopping down trees to "build a house." I am 97% sure we met Horace during Ben's flashback when he first came to the island. Either way, the dude's been dead for 12 years and in the most bizarre scene so far, is on a continuous loop of chopping down the same tree. In between, he gives John a message that to find Jacob, he has to find him. John takes them to the mass grave and finds Horace's old, dead body and finds a blueprint in his uniform. It's the blueprint of the cabin. This man was BUILDING JACOB'S CABIN. Mind freak. Anyway, Ben has now realized that John has taken "power" and he seems kind of defeated and bummed out. I feel ya, dude. Anyway, they find the cabin and Ben and Hurley send John in alone. Okay people, this whole part freaked me the hell out. He goes in the creepy cabin and we see a man sitting there in the dark. John asks if he is Jacob, he says no but he will speak on his behalf and when John asks who he is, we see it's.........Christian, AKA Daddy Shepard. WHAT?! Wait, it gets better. We also see CLAIRE sitting there with him. This was when I had to stand up because i was not believing what I was seeing. Claire looked so content and happy and I'm still not sure what the bloody hell is going on with this situation. Is she dead? Did Christian bring her over to some other dimension because he sure as hell is dead or IS HE? Maybe he had been on this island and can't die either. Eeek. John starts asking questions and Christian is all "we don't have time for his, ask the question that matters" so John asks him how to save the island. Not, how to I keep all my friends from getting blown to bits, but how do I save the ISLAND. Woah. When he emerges, Ben asks what they told him to do and he said they told him to MOVE THE ISLAND. Of course, why wouldn't they. WHA-HAHT? Okay, now obviously at this point we've all picked up on the heavy religious undertones in this show, with redemption being a major player along with eternal life and fate. I've asked it before and it's been debated over and over on every Lost message board, but I have to ask again, is Jacob god? They sure want us to think that, no?

-Finally we have a brief moment with our peeps and they see the chopper fly in, thinking Hooray, we're rescued, and Jimmy Buffet drops a backpack with a satellite phone it. Jacks gets it and thinks that they are supposed to follow the signal. Are they? I think the pilot is a good guy so I have to believe he's got a plan but this is just so goddamn exciting now so kudos to you, Lost makers. I know it's complicated but it does reward you for paying attention and I love a puzzle so this is just amazing. They'd better not eff it up in the end. If they pull a Newhart and make this a dream, HEADS WILL ROLL, PEOPLE.

Whew. I think I have a callus on my finger from all this typing and my brain from all this thinking. Next week we get to see the Oceanic 6 leave the island and all I know is that there had better be some answers to something. OR ELSE. What do you guys think?