Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Cinco de Fart-O

My friend Gwen of www.everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com had a Cinco de Mayo party last Saturday night. It was technically a Tres de Mayo party but we don't like technicalities so we'll act as though it was the 5th. Anyway, at some point in the night there were a bunch of us crammed in her kitchen, partly because it was slightly chilly outside and we had all suddenly become temperature averse and partly because Liz had made a gigantic crockpot full of queso dip and there really isn't any reason to leave a big pot of cheese. Well, we were all talking and being silly and laughing at Liz's thick cheese dip and all of a sudden I got a whiff of something. Now I have a SUPER sensitive nose and I can pick up a scent like a dog and this was not something I wanted to smell as it was the distinct smell of fart. I immediately looked at Jeff, who is kind of known for dropping some ass bombs now and again but he'll usually excuse himself to pollute an uninhabited area rather than clear a room, and he looked at me and was like "IT WAS NOT ME" and by the look on his face, I believed him and for the record, it was NOT me either. We both peered around at everyone else, who were all still chattering away and I looked around the fridge at LM and she looked at me and was like "OH MY GOD, DO YOU SMELL THAT?" By this point, the cloud of funk had made it's way into the kitchen and we were all like "IT'S NOT ME" and trying to locate the origin of the stink cloud. Bear in mind this was a party revolving around MEXICAN food and we all know what that'll do to your insides so this was not a smell you wanted to stay in. Well, of the 8-9 people in the kitchen, NO ONE would fess up and there just wasn't anyone else around so SOMEONE did it. Most of the guys were like "if that were me, the paint would have peeled already" like their farts are SO POWERFUL that we wouldn't even be able to be in the same house after their release and I know it wasn't me, Liz or LM because we tend to not fart in public or at least in that close of quarters, so the farter continues to remain a mystery. Either way it was hilarious because the mystery farter had inadvertently started another conversation about peeing in the shower. I'll leave that for another post. I don't want to spoil your breakfast.

For the record, yes, we are still 6 and farting IS funny no matter what anyone says.

6 comments:

LM said...

Do you recall if The Buss was in the kitchen at that time? I ask because later on after the crowd dwindled a little and those left were all outside around the fire, Buss was heard farting inside the house by all of us sitting outside (he was the only one inside at the time, so we know it was him). You can imagine it was fairly loud for the sound to travel all the way outside. Mary can attest. So my vote is for him as far as the kitchen incident.

amy & jeff said...

Brian was not there during this farting incident so it had to have been someone else. I'm leaning toward James because he deflected the conversation back to Maya drawing a picture of Liz's farts in a cage. That just screams guilt to me.

Allie said...

It is funny no matter what anyone says. This post had me cracking up. I am so not mature.

And I love that you're still trying to figure out who it was.

Gwen said...

If the identity of the farter is a mystery, how do you know he/she had started another conversation about peeing in the shower? I'm all nervous it was me, but I don't remember having gas. Or talking about peeing in the shower.

amy & jeff said...

Gwen, you were not in the kitchen during said gas attack so you're off the hook. I meant that right after we had the fart conversation, we went into a convo about peeing in the shower and whether it was okay or not. I vote it is becasue I pee in there everyday.

Gwen said...

Oh, good. Because I pee in the shower, too, and I'm always afraid I'll admit it to people who think it's gross. There's something about getting in the warm water that makes me have to GO!