Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I ran for the border

I just returned from a "research" trip to Borders. I have a love/hate relationship with said establishment. I love to go in and peruse the books for a ridiculously long time and yet I would have to refinance my house to afford to actually purchase them. Case in point, an 11 page children's book, while very clever and gorgeous, was $19.95. WTF?! Have they always been that expensive or is this the golden age of picture books and no one told me? No wonder my parents only gave us old receipts as bedtime reading material. I KEED I KEED!! We had actual books.
I managed to find a couple in the bargain section but the majority of those were either Sesame Street, Disney, Nickelodeon, etc. and I'm not interested in that. I don't care about Dora or her explorations. Where are the parent I ask? Would you let your daughter traipse all over the freaking globe with some kind of monkey thing as a guide?? I think not.

I think I'll write a children's book about my weirdo dogs and charge 50 bucks for it. Zoey is the weirder of the two and if she were an actual child they would suggest she wear a helmet for her own safety. She is afraid of the wood floors we installed and goes from rug island to rug island when she needs to move through the house. She is also afraid of the vacuum, thunder, ladders and steps yet she will go after a rottweiler like nobody's business. She is truly the most bizarre dog I have ever known and yet I love her to pieces. Cleo is the older of the two and is basically annoyed by everyone around her. She is like a wise old owl except that she licks her pooper so she isn't that wise.

3 comments:

Bruce Johnson said...

You are missing the point....children aren't supposed to read. Buy her an XBox 360 with Halo3..... That is the new version of Horton Hears A Who.....

Gwen said...

Book stores always make me have to number two. Card stores, too. I think it's because I get all relaxedy and stuff. Just thought I'd share.

Anonymous said...

I think a dog book would be great. Kids love animals. You could also write about your nephew English Bulldog in texas that has OCD and loves balls so much we had to get rid of the tether ball in the back yard because he would jump at that darn ball on a string and eventually with his serious underbite get his teeth hung in the ball. I would hear yelping only to go outside and find him dangling feet not touching the ground and unable to get unstuck. He also climbs the ladder to the swing set only to go down the slide. Our neighbors have informed us taht they see him entertaining himself in the back yard up in the play fort of the kids and going down the slide just for fun. Can you say CRAZY.