Friday, November 21, 2008

Oh yeah, it's Friday.

PISCES week of Nov 15
Your Week Ahead: You are kind, you are compassionate, you are always willing to take a long diversion from your path if it will help someone you care about. These are all qualities to be proud of. You are not, though, some kind of mythological martyr or psychological superhuman. There's a point past which you should not go. And you always know when you have reached it. Instead of saying 'OK, that's enough', though, you tend to feel bad about drawing the line. Don't do that this week. Do your best and when you can do no more, do no more. For at that moment, you will have done enough.
Week Ahead Part 2: It doesn't matter how good your vacuum cleaner is, there will always be a little bit of dust lurking in the corner somewhere. Even if you become obsessively fastidious and catch it all, you can rest assured that more will come into your world rapidly. That's the nature of dirt. You can keep it down but you can't keep it out completely. Much the same can be said of fear. Conquer as much as you can by all means, you will never, though, free yourself entirely from reasons to worry. Those reasons may sound convincing - but you don't have to listen to them! This week's problem needs to be taken less seriously. When you've done all you can, do not feel obliged to do more.

Sometimes on Fridays, I like to go back to the "week ahead" area of my horoscope to see how accurate it was. I know that's probably cosmic cheating or something but whatever. This week explains that I dealt with...spoiler alert....guilt and worry. Wow. Um yeah, horoscope dude, I deal with those every week so tell me something new. I love how they both tell me that I will get to a point where I'M DONE WITH THIS CRAP and then I have permission to throw my hands up in exasperation and walk away. I like that. This week HAS been wrought with worry, as my chronicle of complaining has shown, and there have been some things I have had to say "STEP OFF" about but then felt guilty later so yes, these ARE accurate. Well played.

So I decided not to call NVC today. There's no reason to ruin yet another day, especially a Friday since it's my favorite day of the week, and if we get our appt., I'll know about it soon enough. As I vented my frustrations on the agency message boards yesterday, the overwhelming majority of people responded by telling me that this very point in the process is probably the absolute hardest to get through, so I don't feel bad about bitching nonstop. See, GUILT. As much as I compulsively worry, I also decided a few years ago, when I realized I would live with guilt and worry my whole life just as my mother and granny did, that I would try to look at the silver lining in each crappy situation. This was so that if the worst happened, which I usually expect will, I have at least one thing that I can be slightly happy about. I do this with EVERYTHING. So, for this particular situation, I have decided that since we are still waiting, we should take advantage of this and sleep in, go out whenever we please, swear with reckless abandon, drink wine before it's time and do whatever else we won't be able to do easily once Kimchi gets here. I think they call this optimism. I'm not sure. I call it "holding my shit together." Either way, I plan on enjoying yet another child-free weekend so I can start the worrying and complaining again on Monday.

Woo-hoo, next week is a HOLIDAY week so only three days of work. OH SNAP! Unless you have to work on Friday, in which case you have a four day week. But still. I'm looking forward to putting up my Christmas tree, which I didn't do last year, and generally decking my halls. I'll post pics of my cool tree when I get it done. Have a glorious weekend.

UPDATE** -- Um, yeah. I went ahead and called. Anyone who knows me knows I was full of crap in my defiance to not call today. OF COURSE I had to call. I got the news I expected, no P3 packet has arrived so no interview scheduled. The good news is that after an almost 3 week drought in travel calls, there was movement on the agency message boards today so hopefully that means things are chugging back along. Jeff and I have a bet, which I might have already mentioned, that on Dec. 5th, we will be either a) on our way or in Korea or b) having just gotten our travel call and furiously getting ready to travel. I said he was full of poo and that it would be later, so in reality, all this huffing and puffing is probably to early anyways. As for the wager, it's none of your beezwax. Anyhoodle, at least I won't spend the whole weekend thinking "man, I should have called. I SHOULD have called. Why didn't I call?" See, MORE GUILT. Carry on with your day.

1 comment:

johnny_VIRUS said...

I come to your blog every few weeks to get he Kimchi scoop, haha. I bet you'll be in Korea by Christmas! I wager a cake. Let me know if you are having any swell holiday shindigs; I'll bring wine and jokes! Hope all is well!!!