Well, last night was the finale. It was down to Daisy and Ambre, and I had no freaking clue going in who Bretty-boy was gonna pick. They went to Cancun because he's classy like that and they stayed at a hotel that I STAYED AT the first time I went to Me-hico. It wasn't a bad hotel but it certainly wasn't the Ritz so I was kinda surprised he went there. The best part is that they made Daisy and Ambre room together, because at this point, they pretty much hate each other's guts so this should be nice and volatile. When they got there, they settled in and went to dinner. Somehow the conversation turns to being sexy and Ambre says that Daisy uses her sexuality to her advantage and Daisy gets all huffy about it. Later in the room, Daisy tells her that she hurt her feelings when she said it and Ambre defends her statement by reminding Daisy that she is indeed a stripper by trade and therefore DOES use her sexuality as a tool. They bicker back and forth and Daisy tells Ambre that she isn't sexy and it gets all catty and whatever. They are both annoying at this point so I just want them to shut the hell up.
Ambre gets the first date, which is an all day and all night (cue porn music), so you know she's bringing her A game. The went to Xcaret, which is like this eco park and they got sexy massages and played in the water, etcetera and then they went back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. Daisy is all smarmy and asks Ambre about her date and Ambre was all " Why do you wanna know BE-YOTCH?" Oh snap. They start bickering back and forth like two slutty hens and then Ambre leaves for her date. Listen Ambre, I really applaud the fact that you take care of your body and look great for a lady of 37, but maybe trying to dress like a 19 year old Hooters waitress isn't really the way to go. I could have done a drive-by pap smear on you with that short dress. Gracious! They went to dinner and seemed to really have a nice time and then Ambre needs to make sure he knows SHE IS SEXUAL DAMMIT and proceeds to tell him she has gone sans underpants. He wants proof and suddenly we are in a Basic Instinct remake. Jesus, Ambre, really? REALLY? The sight of her vagina was clearly too much for him because he was all "check please" and they went back to his suite to continue their night of passion without cameras. Thank you for sparing my eyes.
Daisy had the next date and was just waiting to bait Ambre the minute she came in. She was all " I'm SOOOO excited about my date ALL DAY!" YAY! Ambre is so easy to bait because she immediately defends herself instead of telling Daisy to go blow. They bicker the ENTIRE time until Daisy leaves. She and Bret are going to take a chartered boat with lunch and fishing and crap and about 10 minutes into it, Daisy starts puking over the side. Wah, wah. Not so romantic to have puke breath, babe. They have to turn around and go back and by this time Bret's just like, "let's just get ready for dinner."They meet back downstairs and Bret's all "Dang baby, you look HOT!" and Daisy's all " I know, I'm so hot for YOU!" and it was gross and then they went up to his room. I hope they put plastic down for the poor maids.
Now we're at the end and I still don't know who he's going to choose. Both ladies are sweating and shaking and Bret gives them some " I love you both" spiel and calls Daisy up. Ambre starts to cry and he proceeds to tell Daisy that she is awesome and everything but that her tour ends here. OH NO YOU DI'INT! Oh yes he did. He picked Ambre. Thirty-seven year old, successful non-musician dating semi-normal Ambre won the chance to date a washed up 80's hair band singer. Well played, Ambre, well played indeed. The End.
Wait, I just read that there is a reunion of all the girls next Sunday and that Heather is there and she and Daisy throw down! OH YEAH!