My friend Johnny Virus and I decided we should blog about one of our classmates today. In fact, we couldn't believe that we hadn't already. We have a three hour class with him and on a typical day, he will command 100% of Evann's help for about 80% of the class. The best part is that he has taken this class SEVERAL times before and has appeared to have learned exactly nothing. He's always blabbering on and on about how he has all these mac's at home and he's all networked and other nerd jargon and how his website is AWESOME and blahblahblah, and yet he is just dumb. Extra dumb. On Monday, he commandeered Evann for 1hr and 23 minutes. He asks 7 billion questions all at once and then when she answers, he argues with her. It's baffling. He's like "WHY WON'T THIS FILE OPEN?" and she's like "well, you need to link it over here or whatever" and then he'll cut her off and be like "I ALREADY DID THAT. You know, this worked FINE at HOME. What's wrong with these computers?" and she's like "like I said, you need to link the file and it'll work." and then it'll go like this until she just does it herself to show him what a dumbass he is and then it miraculously works! Then he's all like "Well, this isn't how you USED to do it." OHMYGODSHUTUPYOUFOOL.
This happens pretty much every day. He is also a loud talker and he wears about 7 times the recommended dosage of Drakkar Noir so he stinks up the entire area. The BEST part about this whole boring story is the website itself. His freaking website is some animated thing for the children. FOR THE CHILDREN! He said he wants ALL children to be able to explore the GLORY of this site and be forever changed and dance around in loud colors and be HAPPY! And yet, he is charging for this site. Yes kiddies, it's time to go down and turn in your job app at the Olive Garden because this shit ain't free. Whatever. That is all I can say. I've only seen snippets of the thing during class but it looks CREEPY as hell and all I could make out was something with a bunch of crudely done cartoon kids dancing around a cartoon person that looked suspiciously like................him. Now, I'm certainly not accusing anyone of anything and I have not seen nearly enough of the site to make any sort of judgements about it's content, but I'm just saying. It's weird. The children of the world can rejoice, however, in the knowledge that this man is far too dumb to ever figure out how to launch this bucket of joy. Thank you jesus.