Lost Recap

So Lost, ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS? Did you want me to have a heart attack last night because if so, WELL DONE. Holy crap, people. That was explosive and I don't mean in a bomby-type of way. Well kinda but let's start from the beginning...........

-So Desmond, my future second husband and possible sex offender, is rushed to the hospital because he got shot in the bag of groceries. I still haven't figured out how a stalk of celery stopped a bullet but that's neither here nor there. Bottom line is he's shot and in the hospital and Penny and Charlie are there and who shows up to wish him a speedy recovery, Eloise! So kind, that one. Penny is all "who the hell are you" and Eloise says that her son is responsible for Dez getting shot and Penny's all "your son is Ben Linus?" and Eloise, after making a face like she smelled a fart, said no, my son is Daniel Faraday. Dhur. Penny is all "wha?" because she doesn't know Daniel but we know something is awry. We flash back 30 years, or to our present as it is, and we see Daniel getting off the sub. Miles is all hey, thought you got rich on the DVD player but Daniel is all nervous and needs to see Jack. He goes to his house and wants to know how they got to 1977. Jack explains it and Daniel tells him that his Mom was wrong to send them back and Jack is all "are you kidding me FOR REAL?"

-Star Trek commercial. HOLY SHIT THAT LOOKS AWESOME.

-We flash back to a young Daniel and Eloise. He is playing the piano and Eloise comes in to tell him to cut that shit out, he is super smart and needs to use his brain for bigger things than learning how to play the opening to "Wildfire." No, I added that but that's what I'd learn to play first. Anyway, she tells him that he needs to devote his entire existence to MATH, which to me sounds like loads of fun. Seriously, why have a life when there's all this math laying around. Anyway, he is a bit dashed but he loves his Mummy and will do it. Young Eloise is as freaky as old Eloise and you get the feeling she isn't so happy to be doing this. Back on the island, Dan has Miles take him to the Orchid and Jack is pissed so he heads to Sawyer's house, where he has been holding Phil hostage in the closet since the whole tape fiasco. Oops. Meanwhile, Dan and Miles get to the Orchid and Dan seems to know what's going to happen because of his journal. Change pulls up and Dan tries to talk to him about the electromagnetic issues they have underground and that in a few hours they will drill into this stuff and cause "the incident." Chang is all "don't mess with me, bub" and doesn't believe him. He tells him Miles is his son and that they are all from the future but Chang doesn't want to hear it and blows them off.

-In the past, or future as it may be, Dan is now graduating from college and has a sweetie and his mother is NOT amused. They go to lunch and she basically tells him that he needs to focus on his work, not his girlfriend and you can see he is weary of having this devotion. She gives him his journal as a gift. He probably would have wanted cash but whatever. He tells her that he just got $1.5 million research grant from some dude named Charles Widmore and Eloise bristles at this but she tells him she doesn't want to fight and good luck. Back on the island, the gang is together at Sawyer and Juliette's house trying to figure out what to do. Miles and Daniel show up and Daniel says he needs to find the hostiles because his mother is there and she can help them. Sawyer is all "hell naw" but Jack and Kate decide to take him. The rest of them are told to pack their shit, they're going back to the beach where this all started. THE JIG IS UP. It's also pretty clear at this point that Sawyer and Juliette don't really want to leave their nice life here. Hmm. Think about that.

-In the past, we see Widmore visiting a very messed up Daniel.We can assume at this point that he has already done his experiments because they have left him with no memory and a case of the crazies and we know his poor assistant/girlfriend has met her fate as we saw her last. Widdy tells him that he planted the plane and the real one crashed on a freaky island that he needs to go to to help the people and to fix himself. Okay. So here we are again. Is Widmore good or bad? Is he sending Daniel there to fix all this stuff or was it really to kill? Was Daniel sent to detonate the bomb to get rid of the island or was he really sent there to change all this? How much does Widmore know of what has happened? Back on the island, Jack and Kate go to get some guns while Dan goes to find Charlotte, who is about 7 and DARLING. He tells her that she is going to have to leave the island and he gets all weird and the poor kid was probably like who is this crazy man but I assume that this memory will now effect Charlotte somehow. While they're getting their guns, Radzinsky shows up and then guns are pulled and there is a FREAKING SHOOT OUT!!! Holy crap. Jack and Kate are all "YEE HAW, POW POW POW" and at some point Dan gets shot in the neck (only a graze of course) and they make it to the Jeep and take off. "SOUND THE ALARM!" Hurley and Miles see Radzinsky heading to Sawyer's after the shoot out and they're all "this isn't good" and Radzinsky and his men go in and discover Phil in the closet. Uh Oh. Sawyer and Juliette are caught. I feel bad for them because this was their happy life and it's all messed up now.

-Whew. Now we see Dan back at the piano and Eloise is there again. She tells him that he needs to take up Widdy's offer and go to the island. He just wants to know if it will make her proud of him and she says yes. So, another poor parent/child relationship on this show. Sheesh. Danny just wants his mommy to love him and while I think she does to a point, I think she is in this for her own reasons and had basically sacrificed her child's life. Well played, lady. Meanwhile, Jack, Kate and Dan flee the Dharma boundary and on the way, he explains what is going on. He tells them about the electromagnetic thingamajig and that the hatch (THEIR HATCH) was built over this thing and that the whole "Desmond pushing the button" thing was FOR REAL and that he was doing it to keep this energy at bay. So now we know. Not pushing the button releases the energy, which is what brought down the plane and now everything is in flux. He says that he never factored in the people, which are the variable in this long equation. He thinks that they can all change what happened by detonating the H-bomb. By doing this, it will in essence wipe out everything that happened up to this point. Now, does it wipe out everything from 1977 on or from Desmond not pushing the button. I'm thinking it's from 1977 on, which would men that most of these people would basically get to start their lives over again. They are all roughly the same age right, so they all get a second chance. Their destiny isn't really their destiny anymore because everything got all messed up when they turned the wheel and skipped the record that is the island. Unless it IS their destiny and no matter what they do, it will always end up happening. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

-Back at the hospital, Eloise apologizes to Penny and says she is sorry if anything happens to Dez because "for the first time in a long time, I don't know what's going to happen." So, this has to mean that Eloise has time traveled successfully, right? She knows a lot of stuff we need to know. FESS UP OLD LADY. Anyway, touching reunion between Dez and Penny ensues. Hooray! Eloise leaves and is met by Charles. He knows Penny is inside but he won't go in, even though Eloise suggests it. He says his relationship with her was something he had to sacrifice for all this and she gets all mad and is all "don't tell me about sacrifice" and then as she mentions sending her son back to the island "knowing full well...", Widdy is all "he's my son, too." Cue dramatic music. Eloise slaps the crap out of him and takes off. So, this probably means that they did the deed on the island and then Widdy left, knocked up Penny's mom and had her off the island. Slut. Anyway, I can only think that perhaps Eloise knows that sending Danny back would seal his fate. Kate, Jack and Dan press on until they find the hostiles camp. He goes in, demands to know where Eloise is and holds them all at gunpoint, mainly Richard, who AGAIN seems perplexed as to who he is. More on that in a minute. Richard tells him she isn't there right now but he demands again and then BAM, he is shot in the back........by Eloise. Dan's own mom killed him in 1977. He tells her he is her son and he suddenly realizes that she knew this would happen and sent him back anyway. Poor guy. He really has issues with her. Just because she sent him to his death doesn't mean she doesn't love him. Oh, yeah it does. Sorry Dan. Eloise doesn't know who he is. I am having issue with this. Why don't' these people recognize them? Why didn't Richard know who he was since he had been the one to help with the bomb back in the 50s? Are they time traveling, or is this more of an alternate plane type of thing where they are all existing together but at different times and such. I know I've said this before but that's got to be it. String theory. Many versions of the same person existing on different planes, each having a slightly different life. Maybe this means you don't really ever die because you are always existing at some point in time. AAAAACCCKKKK.

Okay, so the million dollar question is, if you could go back in time and change what has happened, good and bad, would you? Their lives were all pretty messed up before they got on that plane and despite the fact that they were trapped on the island, help captive, some were killed and all have been generally haunted by what has happened, would they change it? A lot of this depends on how far back they go, of course, but this is a big question. Even though shit happened, would you get rid of the good to get rid of the bad?

My brain is OFF for the rest of the day after this.