It was like bird jerky.

Oh yeah, I forgot this. Yesterday, we decided to venture out to run errands and when we got to the end of our street, we saw a golden retriever puppy in the middle of the road. We live in the city so runaway dogs scare me because people fly down the streets here and I've seen enough dead cats to know they don't stop for animals. Anyway, I recognized the dog and knew where it lived so Jeff pulled over and I got out to get it. It wasn't far from it's house and he came right to me but he had something in his mouth. My main concern was getting him and me out of the street so I didn't see what it was until I got him closer to the porch. It was also windy and my skirt kept flying up so I'm sure the neighbors also saw my ass. You're welcome. Anyway, the dog was VERY energetic and was like holding on to a lightening bolt and I finally dragged it to the porch and knocked. I heard someone come to the door but then no noise so I yelled "HEY, I have your dog" and knocked again harder. I finally heard louder footsteps and the door flung open and the dog owner lady was standing there with her mouth open. "OH MY GOD, where was he?? He was supposed to be in the yard? How did he get out?" I had no answers but I did say "um, I think he has something in his mouth" and then she saw it and I helped her hold the dog so she could go down it's throat and retrieve whatever it was. Well, IT was a goddamn DEAD BIRD that the dog was chewing on the whole time. SICK SICK SICK SICK. It had been run over so it was all flat but you could still tell it was a bird and the dog was all "YUMMY" and the poor lady had to go in and grab it and pull it out, along with some throw up. At this point I was totally grossed out and was all "okay, see ya" and ran back to the car.

That dog knew the bird was the word.