Turn and face the strange

Pisces, 1/21/09
The credit crunch hasn't gone away yet. There is still conflict in the Middle-East. The threat of global warming still hangs over the world. But at least now we have an American president who actually acknowledges that it is an issue. Things look as if they could be about to get a little better. Often, in life, one hopeful sign or signal is all it takes to turn a bleak prognosis into a positive prediction. In your life, too, one key factor is now significantly different. From that, all else you need can yet come.

So, I made a pretty major change in my life yesterday. Jeff and I decided that I was going to leave my full-time job. YIKES! As you can see above, I apparently am living in some kind of bizarre world where my life is told through horoscopes. Go back and read yesterday's, too. It's freaky, man. It said I was going to do something to make a fresh start or something. I'm too lazy to scroll down so I'm paraphrasing here. That's weird. Change is funny. People hate change and yet change is what makes life interesting. I get antsy when things stay the same for too long. I know that drives people BANANAS because I'm usually all over the map with stuff but that's just how I roll, people. Live it.

So where was I? Ah yes, my job. A lot of factors went into this decision and considering I had JUST started there in August after toiling away for 5 long years for my 2-year degree, you can imagine it was slightly harder than deciding what to eat for dinner. Which, let me tell ya, can be a tough one. Some days I just don't want anything we have, even though I do all the shopping so really everything SHOULD be stuff I want to eat but it's not. It drives Jeff crazy because he would eat the same dinner every night and be fine. I am difficult and complicated. He is not. Anyway, Max was having issue after issue in daycare and after watching other kids throw up on toys my kid was going to put in his mouth, I was done. In addition to that, I found that the days I was at work, by about 2:30pm, I was almost unable to keep my eyes open since Max wakes up every night at oh, about 2am and we fight to get him back down for the next hour or two or sometimes we're just up for the day so I am perpetually tired and my brain is cream of wheat. This happens EVERY NIGHT. Last night he was up and crying so hard he didn't sound human anymore. Sometimes he freaks me out because he sounds like the girl from The Exorcist when she's really pissed at the priest and makes these crazy sounds. I half expect to see him levitate and start to speak in my mother' voice.
The main reason we did this is simply because this is our only shot as parents because we're old and broke and I want to spend as much time with him as I can. I want to be able to go to the zoo and have playdates and all that shit. I'm still going to work part-time at home doing marketing and advertising stuff for them but that's pretty much it. I'm nervous about the whole thing but honestly, I think things happen for a reason so I'm going on the notion that this change will also allow me to pursue my cakes down the road so that when Max goes to school, I'll be a kick-ass cake shop owner. That's the dream, anyway. That and moving to Hawaii, which WILL HAPPEN at some point in my life. WHERE ARE YOU LOTTO WHEN I NEED YOU?