Friday, January 30, 2009

I'm buying stock in Cheer

So, now that I'm a mom, I have noticed a few changes in my life. Seriously. Things aren't the same anymore and LUCKY YOU, I'm going to write about them. Aside from the not sleeping and not being able to eat a meal without someone who is small and Asian screaming or wanting to eat it for me or the endless supply of dirty diapers, there are two other things I have noticed. One, I do a lot of laundry. A FREAKING LOT. A ridiculous amount of laundry. And the best part is that my washing machine is in the basement, which means the kid has to ride in the basket with the dirty clothes.

As you can see, HE LOVES IT. If I wait for nappy time, then I have to choose between that or getting work done, showering, eating or going to the bathroom. Going to the bathroom is not easy with a 10 month old. Not at all and no sweetheart, toilet paper is not a toy nor is it food and no, mommy doesn't want you to stand in front of her and repeatedly hit her legs while she's trying to go. Anyway, Jeff and I managed to live together for the last 7+ years doing about one load of laundry each per week. Now, I do about 1-2 PER DAY. There are towels from poop explosions, nappies from spit up, pants, jammies, socks and shirts, all of which get dirty approximately 9 minutes after he puts it on. He is drooling like a bulldog so his shirt is always wet and likes to fart and sometimes we get a gift with those farts and sometimes the stupid diaper decides to suck and then we have leaking so off with those pants. One day we went through 3 pairs of pants within a 2 hour time span. 2 HOURS, PEOPLE. It just doesn't stop.

The other thing I've noticed is that I'm at the store all the time. This week alone I have been to the grocery store 3 times, Walgreens 1 time and Target twice. Why you ask? Because the minute I get in the store, my brain goes on strike and I stand there looking around going "what did I come here for?" and then I wander aimlessly for a while, putting random things in my basket and then I get home and go "GODDAMMIT, I FORGOT ______." I try to make lists but I usually leave it here or I drop it or it falls out of my pocket or whatever. I can't carry a purse anymore, which sucks because just before we went to Korea I bought the most kick-ass shiny patent leather handbag, which now sits on my dresser. I usually just shove what I need in my pockets (yes Jan, I have a pocket purse now) since I haven't been able to find a bag that will work while I'm lugging around the kid. I have a diaper bag but it's full of....diapers. Anyway, guess where we're going today? THE STORE. I swear. We were just there last night but this morning I discovered that the extra sleeve of 50 bottle liners I thought I had was actually a sample pack containing exactly 6. Not only that but the kid has decided that yelling is FUN and he does it throughout the entire shopping trip. It's not crying mind you, it's just random yelling, which usually ends up scaring the shit out of whoever is standing nearby because it is LOUD.

Anyway, if you want to know where I am, now you know. In the cryptkeeper basement or pushing a cart somewhere trying to shush a screaming Asian.


Jan the mom and Grandmom said...

The pocket purse works for me and now you know why. I wished I lived closer because laundry is my bag and I don't mind doing it at all. I guess Grammy taught me well in that department. I am a whiz at most stains and haven't met many I couldn't remove.

It does make for good blogs however and he is a sweetie so it is ALL worth it.

Allie said...

That picture is adorable!

I'm in love with this bag -

It might work for you b/c I think you can do the over one shoulder, across the chest thing with the strap - which is what I need to do when I take the dog somewhere. I've dropped a very unsubtle birthday suggestion to my husband, so hopefully, I'll be getting one soon. Regular purses don't cut it when you don't have free hands.

Cindy said...

Amy, Though my kiddos are much older than Max, I LOVE reading your blogs. While reading them I giggle and think "ahhh, I remember those days!" Enjoy Max and the chaos while he is little because they grow up so very fast!!