Lost Recap

So, for those of you who are new to the site, we here at Kimchi Central like to do a little thing we call Lost Recap, where we do things like recap the latest episode of Lost. I know the title is confusing but try to follow. If you don't watch Lost, you might want to entertain yourself by revisiting one of our classic posts such as "Get down with the sickness" or "Happy New Year 5 Days Late." Or you could decide that this recap is so riveting that you now MUST watch this show in which case I bid you welcome and good luck. It's been a long Lost drought and I spent most of the drought praying to the 4-toed statue that this season wouldn't suck. There is a lot to get through here so you might want to grab a snack. Let's roll..........

-So we begin back with the Dharma Initiative and creepy Dr.Marvin Candle, star of the illustrious Dharma station films. He seems like a real dick. We see his "normal" family, wife and kid, and know he lived on the compound during the birth of the initiative. Is he just the video dude or something more? Anyway, he gets interrupted during filming to come and check out some craziness encountered while building the Orchid station, which we now know holds the most power due to an unlimited supply of some kind of magic stuff that is within the rock. The construction dudes want to keep drilling but he says NO, stop because this shit will MESS YOU UP FOR REAL. They show a sonar of the rock wall and maybe I'm crazy, but it sure looked like the Statue of Liberty's head was in that wall. Hmm. All I know is if they find a talking ape riding a horse, I'm gonna be pissed. Anyway, the good doctor starts to leave and who does he bump into working down in the Orchid, why it's our good friend Faraday! WHA?

-Back to the future, which brings us to Unshaven Jack and Ben at the funeral home. Ben has convinced Unshaven Jack that the reason their lives have turned to crap is because they left the island, which wasn't supposed to happen. Since Unshaven's life IS a pile of crap, he agrees to gather the rest of the 6 and ride Ben's magical unicorn back to the island. Nah, but how the hell ARE they going to get back since Ben left through the mysterious light flash? Amtrak? Ben also tells Unshaven that they ALL have to go back, including zombie John Locke/Jeremy Bentham. Load him up! They go to a seedy motel, Jack shaves off his ZZ Top beard and they make their plan.

-Now it's 3 years earlier and we get to see what happened to the people left back when the island disappeared, which we know from the video in the finale, really didn't disappear, it time traveled. The light and sound happen like before and when it's over, we see Locke in the jungle alone, where he had just been with Richard and the others. And it's raining. We also see our pals on the beach, who have now realized that the flash took away their campsite and all their stuff. Sawyer is confused, as usual and he and Juliet try to figure out what's happening, including why the freighter is suddenly gone. Faraday returns on the zodiac, since there is no longer a freighter out in the water, and he tells them that the camp hasn't disappeared, it just hasn't been built yet. Oh sure, that's all.

-Back to the future and some men come to Kate's door with an order to get blood samples from her and Aaron. Uh oh. Flash back to the island and we see Locke make his way to a hilltop where a plane almost chops his head off as it crash lands. Oh yeah, and a virgin Mary falls out as it goes by. Yep, it's Yemi's plane so this means we are pretty darn far back in time. He tries to climb up to the plane and gets shot in the leg by Ethan, who has no idea who he is. Ethan almost kills him but the flash happens again and he's back alone but now it's dark. The other people are also in the dark trying to find a man-made structure and since hillbilly Sawyer won't shaddup, Faraday tries to explain that the flashes mean they are in essence, bouncing through time randomly. It's like Quantum Leap but without the heartwarming lessons.

-Back to the future, we see Sun trying to fly to LA but she's detained by Widmore, who is pissed. She tells him she wants to kill Ben just like he does so now they are besties. Nah, but Sun is probably turning slightly bad right now.

-We now meet up with future Hurley and Sayid, who in a nutshell, break Hurley out of the nuthouse, kill some dudes who were going to kill them, Sayid takes a tranquilizer dart to the throat and Hurley has to buck up and get them to safety. Hurley, also makes the mistake of being seen holding a gun so everyone thinks he killed the dudes. They are on the run.

-Back in the past jungle, Richard finds Locke, dresses his gunshot which John DIDN'T tell him about yet and then tells him that the next time he sees him he won't recognize him because of the whole time thing so he gives him a compass. John asks what it does and Richard replies "it points North, John." OH SNAP! On a side note, I'm starting to have a little crush on Richard. He wears eyeliner and it's sexy. Richard tells him that the survivors are already home (how does he know that) and that the only way to save the island is to get them back and the only way to do that is to DIE. Ouch. We also see the other peeps and they have found the pre-exploded hatch. Sawyer's all "I'm goin' in the back door, ya'll. Dezzie will let me in" and Faraday explains that no, it won't work but Sawyer argues (of course) and bangs on the door anyway and Faraday tells him that in time travel, if something didn't happen in the past, it can't happen now. Time travel is like a street you can only go forward or backward on, no turns, meaning that whatever happened happened and you can't change the past because your efforts will never work. So, this explains quite a bit. The reason the future lives suck is because they left the island, which wasn't supposed to happen, which means it had already happened at some point, and which means that there is some monumental reason for them to stay on the island but what is that reason? WHY do they have to go back? This is important, people, VERY IMPORTANT. No turns and they made a big turn. We also notice that Charlotte is acting strange and asI recall, she mentioned coming to the island as a homecoming so my thought is that she was perhaps born there but doesn't know it or something. Thoughts? Faraday decided to buck tradition and he finds past Desmond, who we know is "special" and immune to this time stuff and he tells him to go to Oxford, which we know is what he did in "The Constant." Ahh, the pieces coming together.

Next Episode (I told you this sucker was long)

-Future Hurley is still on the run with passed out Sayid, gets pulled over by zombie Ana Lucia, who tells him not to get caught or arrested and that he needs to get himself and Sayid somewhere safe. Since he sees the dead all the time, I am still wondering if this is real or what. He goes to his house, where is parents are worried that he is on the lam and that he's out of the nuthouse. We also see the past survivors try to start fires back on the island, future Kate on the run with Aaron take a call from someone she goes to meet and Jack and Ben still in the hotel. Ben pulls a box out of the air duct and we don't know what it is. It's important, though, I guarantee that. Ben tells him he needs to take care of zombie Locke while Jack goes to get his crap since he's "never coming back." Now, I don't really believe that John is dead. I don't know why but I just don't.

-Back at future Hurley's house, his dad Cheech helps him and Sayid by eluding the fuzz and finding Jack to help Sayid. We also see Kate meet her mystery date, which turns out to be Sun and we see Ben drop off zombie Locke at the butcher shop. SOYLENT GREEN! No, but there is a woman there named Jill who knows Ben and who knows what to do with zombie Locke. I am speculating that she is like Ben and is involved in this plan to get back to the island.

-Back on the past island, the survivors are suddenly being pelted with flaming arrows on the beach, losing many in the scuffle, including Neil who was just there to die like Arnst. Sorry dude. Future Kate meets Sun who tells her that she doesn't blame her for Jin's death (sorta in an evil way) and that Kate should do whatever it takes to protect Aaron, implying that she should kill the men trying to take him. We also see Hurley spill the beans to his mom about what really happened on the island and she says she believes him but I think she thinks he's still crazy. Jack helps Sayid and then Ben visits Hurley, who freaks out and runs out to the cops who are staking out his house and gets arrested. Not good, dude.

-On past island, Sawyer and Juliet get caught by some dudes who may or may not be Dharma but they're mean either way and just as they go to cut off her hand, Locke kills him. We also see a woman doing some really hard math who goes to Ben and we see she is the old lady from before and now we know that she too, is probably from the island and trying to get back. All this means to me that this isn't really about the survivors, it's about Ben and the other people. They need the survivors to go back to reset time so they can finish whatever they are doing. In fact, I don't really know if I believe that the plane at the bottom of the ocean WAS planted, maybe it's what really happened in some reality and their fate was to die in the crash. Since you can't change what's supposed to happen, maybe they have to go back to the island to die in order for the island to keep on doing what it's doing.

AAAAAAAGGGHHH.......this has been too much. I need more coffee. Discuss amongst yourselves.