Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Toddler Adventures

So, when we moved, we decided that maybe this was a perfect time to transition Max on a few things like potty training, a big boy bed and eating at the table instead of the high chair. The potty training is going very slowly and he's only peed in the Elmo toilet twice (both by accident, not intent) but he doesn't like having poop in his diaper anymore and will tell you "POOP" if it happens. Apparently this is a good sign but since I SUCK at potty training, our progress will continue to go slowly. He has also discovered the joy of throwing stuff into the toilet and flushing it. I predict my iPhone will find itself in a watery grave. One thing I have managed to do is instill some manners and he's very good with the thank yous and such so when he does flush things or if I have to pee and lord knows I have no privacy anymore so I have to pee with him standing next to me yelling "MOMMY POTTY" and then when he flushes it, he yells "BYE BYE POTTY, BYE BYE" at full volume. It was cute the first 467 times but now...not so much when we're in the Target bathroom which is very echo-y.
Anyway, we also decided that we would use a booster chair at the table instead of the high chair. It went okay the first few times but he's become a food thrower, especially when he doesn't like something as evidenced by the half-chewed piece of lettuce that ended up in my hummus last night. He will also put his feet on the table and push himself back, almost toppling over backward, until we jump up for the millionth time to tell him to stop. Well, last night I was DONE WITH THIS CRAP. My dumb stroke gave me headaches and I also had to lug him around Global Foods yesterday on my shoulder because while a nap at home was apparently unacceptable to him, sleeping through the grocery store was totally fine but it meant a pulled muscle for me so I wasn't exactly a ray of sunshine by dinner time. Well, he wouldn't stop throwing salad, even though he spent the whole time I was making the salad yelling "SARAD" so I know he wanted it, and when we told him to stop he retaliated by throwing it at the dog (she didn't seem to mind) so I decided some tough love was in order. I got him out of his seat, explained that this was not how we eat at the table and he spent the rest of the time in his playpen. He was, as you can imagine, not thrilled about this. Jeff and I went back to the kitchen and had a nice dinner, completely ignoring the yelling coming from the other room. I felt bad at first but this shit has to stop and if I teach him nothing else, I want him to have some damn manners and he must not be too hungry if he's more interested in throwing the food than eating it. When I was a kid, we had to call parents by Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. and we were NOT allowed to act up like this without getting into serious shit but I guess that isn't the way to do things these days or else people call you a mean mom. I don't even think they make kids call their teachers by Mr or Mrs anymore which I think is crap but I digress. Anyway, this all means that he isn't a baby anymore (newsflash), he's a kid with an attitude and I'm hell bent on making sure that attitude stays in check. I am clearly delusional.
Our last transition is the big boy bed, because he's become a total bear to get to sleep anymore. He wants to sleep with us or on the floor of his room so I figured maybe we can try a little bed. I'm clearing the room of anything he can kill himself with and gating the doorway and we're going to give it a go. Worst case he can't handle it and the crib goes back in but if it does work and we can all get better sleep then it's worth the experiment. I already picked out the bed from Ikea so this will happen sooner than later. If you notice your grocery store is totally out of wine, you'll know why.


Kait said...

Sign me up for the mean mom club. If our girls don't sit still at the dinner table and eat with silverware, they can sit in time out for the duration of the meal. We have the one bite policy - they get to pick (of what has been made) what they want on their plate but if it hits the plate, they have to take at least one bite of it. If they refuse to eat what has been offered, they go to bed. I know we're "mean" but we're not worried about eating with them in public because we know that they are well behaved. And if they aren't well behaved, a quick threat to take them out to the car for time out while everyone else eats usually does the trick.

The one that gets me is that Natalie will be endlessly polite to everyone else and will use please and thank you without thinking about it...unless it's me. When she wants something from me it's "MOOOOOM! I WANT!" ARUGHUHUHUHGR! So now I just ignore her until she asks nicely. She usually gets mad before she thinks to ask nicely but we're working on it.

And you are a braver soul than I for attempting the potty training. I had hoped to have Natalie out of diapers before we go to Florida in June. Now I'm aiming for prior to her graduating college. The kid is stubborn and it's just not worth the bloodshed.

Amy, Jeff and Kimchi said...

Oh yeah, he's polite to everyone but me. He'll throw his cup at me and yell "MIIIIIIILK" but when it's daddy, he's like "milk peese." Little jerk. Good on you for the dinnertime rules. I have always hated to see kids act up in restaurants and I vowed that would NOT be my child. When he gets loud and unruly, we leave. He'll learn soon enough if he wants to do fun stuff, he needs to stop acting up. He hates time out and usually the threat alone will keep him in line but not always. He was pretty shocked that I really put him in timeout for dinner so I hope tonight goes better.

Everyone tells me girls are easier to potty train than boys if it's any consolation. I figured we still have one more diaper size and pull ups to go through so I'm trying to stay chill about it. Pick you battles, right?

LM said...

If more parents set boundaries w/their kids like you are attempting to do, this world wouldn't be such a F-ed up place. Kudos to your old-fashioned ways. You're doing just fine.

Amy, Jeff and Kimchi said...

Thanks LM. Or Miss LM.

Rob S said...

I'm with you Amy, and especially Kait. When my kid gets here in 7 months, I'm definitely going 'old school' on them. They WILL behave, or their lives will NOT be enjoyable. Their choice!

Allie said...

Oh, my sister-in-law demands manners from her kids the way manners were demanded of us back when we were kids - and the result - really happy, nice kids people want to be around. It's not mean. It's important.