I can hear an echo in here

Hello kiddies. I know I haven't been posting much lately and that's for two reasons. First, I'm hella busy with my schoolwork and I've managed to once again bite off more than I can chew, so and I have 0% free time now and these musings don't exactly write themselves you know. Secondly, I haven't really had much to write. I'm not really ever sure if I should write stuff that isn't a big deal because I wouldn't want to bore anyone but then I think that if you came here, you probably want to read it. But I'm still unsure and thusly, haven't written much. Maybe I should give the posts a level rating, like a threat level, so then you would know right away if it was a boring post or if something MAJOR happened. Lost Recap would be a RED LEVEL because of its great importance. But then how would I know what to classify the other, non-themed posts? Today I bought fake potato chips from Trader Joe's and they are AWESOME and I could eat about 9 bags in one sitting. This is major for me, people, big time stuff. I also might have a summer internship. That is also major, but you see how they differ. Anyway, this is my quandary. If anyone cares, I will try to write more stuff even if it's boring. Hey, maybe if you have trouble sleeping, you can go read my blog and then you'll get all tired again. It's win-win!

It's like Pee-Wee's Playhouse....only skeevier

My friend Johnny Virus and I decided we should blog about one of our classmates today. In fact, we couldn't believe that we hadn't already. We have a three hour class with him and on a typical day, he will command 100% of Evann's help for about 80% of the class. The best part is that he has taken this class SEVERAL times before and has appeared to have learned exactly nothing. He's always blabbering on and on about how he has all these mac's at home and he's all networked and other nerd jargon and how his website is AWESOME and blahblahblah, and yet he is just dumb. Extra dumb. On Monday, he commandeered Evann for 1hr and 23 minutes. He asks 7 billion questions all at once and then when she answers, he argues with her. It's baffling. He's like "WHY WON'T THIS FILE OPEN?" and she's like "well, you need to link it over here or whatever" and then he'll cut her off and be like "I ALREADY DID THAT. You know, this worked FINE at HOME. What's wrong with these computers?" and she's like "like I said, you need to link the file and it'll work." and then it'll go like this until she just does it herself to show him what a dumbass he is and then it miraculously works! Then he's all like "Well, this isn't how you USED to do it." OHMYGODSHUTUPYOUFOOL.

This happens pretty much every day. He is also a loud talker and he wears about 7 times the recommended dosage of Drakkar Noir so he stinks up the entire area. The BEST part about this whole boring story is the website itself. His freaking website is some animated thing for the children. FOR THE CHILDREN! He said he wants ALL children to be able to explore the GLORY of this site and be forever changed and dance around in loud colors and be HAPPY! And yet, he is charging for this site. Yes kiddies, it's time to go down and turn in your job app at the Olive Garden because this shit ain't free. Whatever. That is all I can say. I've only seen snippets of the thing during class but it looks CREEPY as hell and all I could make out was something with a bunch of crudely done cartoon kids dancing around a cartoon person that looked suspiciously like................him. Now, I'm certainly not accusing anyone of anything and I have not seen nearly enough of the site to make any sort of judgements about it's content, but I'm just saying. It's weird. The children of the world can rejoice, however, in the knowledge that this man is far too dumb to ever figure out how to launch this bucket of joy. Thank you jesus.

Lost Recap

Oh my. That was quite an episode. I think I stood up a couple times. Let's review.........





-Okay, first off, I'm a little peeved that this episode did not immediately begin with Walt and Michael on the boat pulling away from the island. I was really hoping we would get a little more info on the time between them leaving the island and ending up somewhere civilized. How long did it take? Where did they dock? These are important facts, people. I'm not convinced that Walt would be so mad at Michael that he wouldn't speak to him. Walt's a special kid and we know that he knows WAY more than most of them so I guess I figured he would understand more. Although, I guess finding out your dad popped deadly caps in some ladies would probably make you pretty freaked out. Poor kid who plays Walt. He just keeps growing and they keep cutting him out. That hardly looked like him at all in the window. About how about Big Gay Tom?! Kudos to you, Lost producers, for having a normal non-sequin wearing gay man on this show. Tom is first class all the way. Except that he's dead but while he was here, he was great.



-So the island won't let you die if you are conflicted. Interesting. The producers swore up and down that this wasn't about purgatory but that IS kind of like purgatory. If they can't die until they resolve a conflict, isn't that kind of a similar situation? It did get me thinking about who is in that coffin. From the way that Jack seemed both relieved and sad, this must signify that whoever it was was finally ALLOWED to die. Maybe not but this show is getting so confusing that I could say that the island has a volcano that shoots out blueberry muffins and it could actually be a possibility. And what about Libby and Ana Lucia and everyone else on the island that has died? Are they really dead? They all seemed pretty freaking conflicted so did the island just not like them and was like "whatevs" and let them die? That's not nice.



- I was not thrilled when Sayid "outed" Michael to the captain. I know he thinks he's a traitor but I really don't think he is. I think he thinks he's doing the right thing and from what we know, he is, and I know Sayid wouldn't have know ANY of this but I was still pissed when he called him out. This is one of the reasons I think Lost is such a brilliant show. They have figured out a way to successfully make Ben both a sympathetic character and a villain and to make us both care about him and hate him. Maybe that dude is just a really good actor, but I just think it's well done and I also think that their playing him that way is going to be significant in the long run.



- Sorry Carl, it was time for you to go. Aside from your stint in the Clockwork Orange chair, you just weren't interesting. You too French Lady. I liked having you pop up randomly, but at this point what are they gonna do with you? Farewell to you both. Oh and Alex, you're next, dear.

Where are my Cadbury eggs?

DANG! It's been a looooooong time since I last posted. Last week basically sucked and I was doing homework from the minute I got home until I went to bed so there wasn't any time to squeeze in a blog post. Sorry to all 6 of you who read this crap. In other news......


I trust you all had a nice weekend. Jeff was off on Friday so we had a little extra vacay time, which was lovely. Unfortunately we both had work to do, which loomed over us the whole weekend, so we spent our Easter with our noses pressed to the computer screen. Good times. Easter is a weird holiday for me. I'm not really a religious person and we don't go to church, so unless someone else cooks a ham and invites us over, to us it's just Sunday. I'm sure the family LOVES hearing that but it's the truth. We did, however, remark that next year we'll have the kid around to buy chocolates and sweets for and I'm gonna make a big easter basket with the fake grass and everything. Now, Easter is the holiday that sort of ushers in Spring, right? Well then why the hell was it SNOWING all day? First part of the week we get the floods and then we get gigantic wet snowflakes all day on Sunday. Um yeah, what's the deal EARTH? I almost painted my toenails yesterday with the hope I would be able to wear cute shoes soon but then I looked outside and said screw it.

On a sad note, Birdy had another episode yesterday. I don't know what to call them. The vet calls them "sinking episodes" but that is weird and "heart attack" sounds so violent so I'm going to call them "episodes" because that isn't as negative. It was so bizarre. We were laying in bed yesterday morning and she and Zoey were between us snoring away like normal. All of a sudden she started making this snorting sound and she was kind of rolling back and forth. I thought she was having a dream so I tried to wake her and she wasn't responding. I picked her up and she started peeing everywhere and then she went limp. Totally limp. I jumped up and remembered that the vet said to hold her head down so the blood would rush to her brain so I did . She drew up her paws and went sort of stiff so I did it again and laid her down on the floor. She was still and then looked up at Jeff like "What? What are you looking at?" and then she was fine. She's been fine ever since but I'm afraid that if she continues to have them, she's eventually not going to wake up because of the stress on her little heart. My poor little poopy. I don't want her to die but Jeff reminded me that when she does, she'll be with my granny and then she'll take care of her and feed her chicken all day. That makes me happy but I'm still gonna miss the hell out of her.

Okay, I'm getting weepy. I need to collect myself and go do some homework.

Rock of Love Recap

Clearly I am a slave to no one's schedule but my own since my Rock of Love updates come late and sporadically. If you have a problem, see the last post. In other news..........

-This week was a doozy. We're down to the "sexy six" and the claws are out and sharpened. I'm sure that Bret came up with the "sexy six" because he's clever like that. This week they had to divide up into teams and shoot and edit a music video. They had to choose from some crappy ballad and some other crappy non-ballad. They should have had to do "Talk Dirty To Me." That would have been more fun since no one but Bret Michaels likes or listens to the other songs. Anyway, Ambre, Kristy Jo and Megan were in one group and Daisy, Destiney and Jessica were on the other. It was basically skanks versus ho's. Ambre is my favorite because she seems normal and nice and cute, although the fact that she feels a "connection" to him makes me question her sanity, so I was rooting for her team even though Kristy Jo was on it. They did the ballad and it was all public-access looking but he liked it and picked it over the stripper bonanza. Ambre was the "director" so she got a solo date and the other two went together.

-Kristy Jo and her sad parade of emotions came through town again and did not disappoint. First off, she decided to finish her bidness and called HER HUSBAND at home to tell him she wanted to go through with the divorce. Um, WHAT? She said she was already split from him but apparently she is also a skilled liar. She told Ambre what she did and she was as surprised as the rest of us that she was still married. Well, during Ambre's solo date in Bret's room (nice), Kristy Jo comes a'knockin' and NEEDS to tell Bret this at this exact moment that she is a free woman. He told her that he was busy (duh) and sent her off to have her chakra's read. Yikes. She eventually told him and he was all "WHAT? YOU'RE STILL MARRIED?" Why are we surprised? The other girls, namely the skanks from the other team, were VERY distraught that Kristy Jo was on the winning team and got another date but they shouldn't have worried since Megan spent the whole date giving him dinnertime lap dances. She's quite a lady, that one. Daisy and Destiney do not hold back and they like to get all up in her face and question why she's there. I thought they were just being mean at first but she really does deserves it. Kristy Jo is one of those girls who cannot live without surrounding herself in drama. We all know this person in our own lives, don't we? They create these little soap operas around them by dating bad men, or staying in bad relationships, or starting fights or whatever and then when the shit hits the fan, they cry that they TRY to do the right thing and that they're going to LEARN from their bad choices but they really don't. They just keep making them because they would be boring otherwise and thank god they do or else we wouldn't have anyone to go on these shows.

- In the end, Bret let Kristy Jo decide whether she should stay or go and she opted to leave, which I knew she would since staying would have been so less dramatic. Someone get me an Oscar, STAT!

Next week they bring the exes and I can only imagine the trail of STD's that these ladies drag behind them. Viva la Bret!

Welcome back to 1985

Oh my god, three posts. It must be your lucky day.

I was perusing the internets today and saw a bit on Jezebel that was about Lois Lowry, the children's author. She wrote lots of books that I read back in the day. By "the day", I mean the 1980's. I was one of those weirdo kids that would hole up in their room with books or Barbies or both (in my case) and I read ALOT during elementary school and junior high. Lois Lowry wrote these books about a girl named Anastasia Krupnik and she seemed so weird and cool when I was a kid and she had these funky adventures and I wanted to be her and live in a tower and I learned the word "debacle" from her and I wanted to live in Cambridge although I didn't know where that was at the time. When I read the thing on Jezebel, I started trying to remember all the names of the books I read back then. One was about a girl whose sister took some "angel dust" and tried to jump out of the window or something. Anyway, it introduced me to the term "angel dust" at a ripe young age and I vividly remember the part of the book when her sister takes the drugs and freaks out but I CANNOT remember the name of the book. I think the word "thirteen" is in the title but google was not helpful. I also had a book about a girl and her mom gets cancer or something and she dies and they describe her mother dying IN DETAIL. I can't remember that title either but thanks for giving me cancer-paranoia. DAMMIT! I would totally go back and re-read them. I also LOVED the Ramona Quimby books and I even remember the part in one of them where the mom forgets to turn on the crock-pot and their dinner is ruined and they end up going to get burgers and fries and it turned out to be a lovely family time. (I have no idea why I remember that but I do and yet I am unable to remember birthdays. Huh.) I found my old copy of "A Wrinkle In Time" in a box during the Great Renovation of 2007 and re-read it. It still holds up but I don't recall picking up on the HEAVY christian tone to the book. Oblivious 11 year old I was. Anyway, this is all rambling but if anyone has heard of these books and knows the names, let me know. I love reminiscing! Don't get me started on Judy Blume!

Top o the afternoon to ya

Bloody St. Patrick's Day! I live in the area of St. Louis that hosts the annual St. Patrick's Day shindig and let me tell you that it took me a half-hour to get home from school. On a normal day with traffic, I'm home in 4 minutes. Anyway, it was really irritating and there were people EVERYWHERE and they just walk into the street or let their kids run out or whatever else they fancy since it's St. Patricks Day and they're wearing GREEN so they can DO WHAT THEY PLEASE, OKAY? The best part is that the cops didn't want anyone parking on the street like they normally do so they put up cones with NO PARKING signs on them. Hmmm... you put cones in the lane so no one would park there which turned it into a one lane road anyway so WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT? Was it so I would have to not go over -2MPH on my way home? Well if so, then well done mate! When I finally made it home, and since we are 1.5 blocks away from a bar with a super awesome tent party going on, I almost couldn't find a parking space. Luckily it was trash day and no one wanted to move my skank-ass trash can (don't blame ya) to open up more parking space so there was just enough room left for me to squeeze in. Jeff, on the other hand, is probably out of Irish luck because I'm sure once 5pm rolls around, the par-tay will be in full swing. I hope no one pees in my yard. Jesus, I am officially the mean old lady on the block and I am only 34. Very sad indeed, but in my defense, it IS Monday.

On a brighter note, I was informed by Evann today that my PR group from last semester won FIRST PLACE in the National Federation of Presswomen communications contest. We ran out of stuff to do at the end of the semester so one of my instructors suggested we enter our Heaven Born stuff and IT WON! I never win anything so I'm going to pretend it's way cooler than it is and bask in my own false glory. GIVE ME MY MOMENT! Anyhoo, I got a nice little certificate and I can put this on my resume as "accolades". What really would have been awesome was if they had sent little blue ribbons as well. Little ribbons with a seal that said "First Place" or maybe "I Rule" or "Suck It Other People Who Entered." Yeah, that would be great.
Take note, people.