Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Ghost Whisperer


So, my battle with the paranormal spirits inhabiting my home continues. Yesterday, about 15 minutes after I put little Kimchi down for his nap, I went to the kitchen to make my lunch, which was a Lean Cuisine fettuccine carbonara. I had left a message for my sister to call me and just as I was poking the required hole in the plastic cover, the phone rang. I grabbed it, stuck the food in the microwave, hit 3 minutes to cook and went into the bedroom. Max's room is literally right outside the kitchen and for some reason he will sleep through our smoke detector going off (true story) but if I talk on the phone at any decibel level higher than a low whisper, he'll wake up. It's uncanny. Anyway, I went into the bedroom to continue my conversation, which lasted approx. 15 minutes. My plan was to have cooked my meal for the first 3 min and then stir and cook for another 1 min 30 sec. That's how a real gourmet cooks. Don't let anyone fool you. Well, as I wrapped up my call and started to make my way back to the kitchen, I realized that the microwave was still on.

I repeat, the microwave was still on. It should have been off for 12 minutes at this point.
And it was counting down from 59:58. That's 59 minutes and 58 seconds. WTF?!!

Now, before you start in on how I MUST have programmed it for the wrong time, know this. I would have had to have manually set it for about 75 minutes when I put my dinner in, which is WAY different than the 3 min I pressed. There was no magic button to add an hour. Now, I vaguely remember the dinger going off at some point but I can't be 100% certain. Either way, it had to have restarted itself for at least one hour. This microwave is fairly new and we've never had any kind of problem with it before and I use it almost every day. By the time I got my fettuccine out, it was totally black and had melded with the container. I never once smelled it burning, or obviously I would have run in and stopped it, which also totally freaks me out. I'm sure you've all smelled burned popcorn but this had no smell at all and after 15 minutes it should have REEKED. I still have no clue as to how long it was actually in there but clearly it far exceeded the time on the box. This whole thing freaked me the eff out and so I did what anyone would do, I called LM. She's been doing some research on our house because it's super old and clearly haunted. We didn't find anything too juicy, no bodies under the floor or anything so we've naturally assumed that it was my Meemaw this whole time, which didn't scare me because she would never do anything to harm us and if anything, she would be here protecting us. Now, I'm not so sure. LM agreed that this was a very strange occurrence and as anyone would, she started to try and explain it logically. Maybe the microwave is on the fritz? Maybe, but it never happened before and hasn't happened since. Maybe I set the timer wrong and didn't realize it? This would be probable but I SWEAR that there's no way I'd mistakenly hit 75 minutes instead of 3. What would I ever cook in a microwave that would require that long of a cooking time? A freaking turducken, perhaps?! No, there isn't anything.

We agreed that yes, there has been enough evidence to safely assume that someone or something is in here but as she pointed out, it seems to be friendly so that's a good thing and I shouldn't be too worried. Um, no LM, cooking my Lean Cuisine so long that I needed to carbon date it and possibly starting a fire in my kitchen IS NOT FRIENDLY. This shit is on.

6 comments:

LM said...

Well, I actually do think there could be something going on, but I tried to think logically yesterday because you were clearly freaked out. I think I need to further my research on the house. If it's not meemaw, perhaps it's the daughter of the original owners of the house who died young? She supposedly died at the hospital, but the fact that she was so young when she died she's hanging around the house because that's all she knows. Maybe Max's room was her room? I don't know that Meemaw would've caused a potential microwave fire. Unless she's got something against linguini carbonara.

Amy, Jeff and Kimchi said...

LOL! Maybe she doesn't want me eating those crap dinners. Don't worry Meemaw, I switched to fried chicken!

Connie said...

Jack thinks you are the preferred choice of one of Satan's minions who likes his food deep charred and burnt BAD. He was mad a few weeks ago that the only thing within reach was a designer baby cannister full of stale Cheerios! And if it IS Meemaw, she's so ashamed of you for not making homemade carbonara. No guilt, babe. Just trying to help.

Amy, Jeff and Kimchi said...

Connie, I'm leaving out a nice bag of Famous Amos cookies tonight to try and appease any hungry spirits. Hey, it works for Santa, right?

jan the mom and grandmom said...

Well Amy - remember when the condo was haunted because the table broke by it self and the closet door got of the track by it self? Maybe the ghost who lived there moved with you and decided to freak you out. Of course it could be Grammy because she never ate Lean Cusine's and maybe she didn't want you to either.

jan the mom and grandmom said...

correction - off the track.