Aww...chubby cheeks.

I wanted to post a few pics of the kid from the holidays. He seemed to enjoy Christmas, as much as a baby can enjoy anything so WELL DONE us. He was far more interested in eating wrapping paper and chewing on the boxes than he was in the actual gifts so everyone could have saved a lot of money. Hindsight. We have a post-placement visit tomorrow so they can see how he is settling in and how we are all doing as a family. The fun never ends.

I know the tree looks pink but it's white. For reals. The colored lights make it look pink, not that I don't TOTALLY covet a pink tree but I think Jeff would cancel Christmas if I bought one. BUT, if I had the pink tree AND a regular tree........hmmm.....I like where this is going. Anyways, cute kid, blahblahblah.

WHEEEE!! Look at me eat mah elephant's butt!

This picture is the cutest, hands down. I love his emo hair and he looks like he's telling me to go suck it.

"Why lady, WHY THIS GODDAMN HAT? Why you gotta do me like this?"

Mmmmmm......paper good.

HOLLA-day Shout Out

Sorry for the super gap in posting but get used to it. Babies leave about 34 seconds a day free, so I will have very little time to post. Just know my life is mostly this:

-baby cries

-check/change poop diaper (because it's usually poop)

-feed said baby some kind of goop and/or bottle

-try to convince baby to sleep by offering money and jewels

-rinse and repeat

I've been meaning to send a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been so supportive of all of us over the last several months during our big journey to get Max. This has been quite an amazing time for us and we are really thankful to have all our friends and family along for the ride. We've had some really nice gestures bestowed upon us and again, I thank you all. We feel very lucky and we wish you all the absolute best fortune in 2009.

Last year I said (drunk) : "2008 IS GONNA BE GREAT!" and it was so much so. We had some major changes in our lives and for the most part, they helped us move in a positive direction.

That said, "2009 IS GONNA BE FINE!"

Cheers everyone!

love,

amy, jeff, max, cleo & zoey

He wanted me to tell you "blahblahblah."

Just wanted to give you all a quick update........

Overall, today things are going really well. He is still having some sleeping issues, but we went to an adoption specialist yesterday and the nice doctor lady gave us some tips on how we can all get some sleep. So far we were able to go one night without a total meltdown but it means we are all sleeping together on the floor. She thinks he is still trying to figure out who we are and whether or not he can trust us and until that happens, he will probably have some issues. I woke up every 5 minutes because either he had his big Fred Flintstone foot in my face or he was farting or fussing or whatever but as long as we can get some kind of shut-eye, I'm gonna take it. His poor tummy has finally responded to the stress so we're finding out all about the wonders of poo and he is offering no shortage of specimen. He did so well at the doctor's office despite being poked and prodded and stuck with needles so we are anxiously awaiting the results of the testing. He has hyper-stimulation from all his trials and tribulations as a wee baby so we are also learning how to manage that. They think it may subside once he is in a routine, which is our next challenge. He's a pretty agreeable and happy little dude when he's content so that's what I'm anticipating for the future. We just have some humps to get over in the meantime.

He is, however, a fantastic dancer and we have a Robot Dance Party everyday. It's super fun and I'm going to start charging a cover soon.

Forcing your eyes shut doesn't make you tired, just for the record.

Well, it's almost midnight and the only one in this house not sleeping is me. I finally have a night that he goes down early and I am WIDE AWAKE. Figures. Today was the best day we've had. We were supposed to have people come to visit but after gifting grandma with our sickness, we decided we would refrain from spreading any more holiday cheer and lay low. Max and I both feel much better and I think the shroud of illness has finally lifted. His sniffles are almost gone and he was super fun and adorable today. It's amazing how much I am in love with this little dude. We spent most of the morning dancing to reggae music, which he apparently really digs, and playing around in his room. He is thisclose to walking and he will go all around his bedroom holding on to stuff. He also learned that the remote control makes the TV change and amused himself with that for a bit. We tried baby food for the first time and he made his debut in his fancy high chair, which he fussed his way in to but quickly decided he liked. He was unsure as to what to do with the food at first and basically let it plop out of his mouth like an old man. It was so cute it was killing me. Today we really felt like a family and it was awesome. So awesome.

Uh oh........I hear something.......gotta go!

Welcome Home, Kimchi. Now where is my martini?

So, I have about 5 minutes to type this so here's a brief synopsis of the last three days:

Trip home:

If hell had a name other than hell it would be Delta Flight 92 from Itaewon to St. Louis. In all fairness, Kimchi did LOADS better than the other screamers on the flight. However, it was still awful, compounded by the fact that I have been really sick since Korea. Lovely. Here is a conversation we had on the plane as I came back to my seat from the bathroom with him:

Jeff: How'd that go?

me: well, it was my worst fears all coming true.

Jeff: uh-oh

me: yeah, his ass exploded everywhere and while I was attending to that in the minuscule bathroom, he decided it would be SUPER FUN to whizz all over the place. I just got done cleaning the bathroom. YOU'RE WELCOME, DELTA.

Then we got held up a ridiculously long time in customs in Atlanta, which I will go on record as saying it is the WORST AIRPORT ON PLANET EARTH and is filled with rudeness. We sat in customs waiting for someone to help us, which wasn't happening, and we watched the customs agents standing around talking to each other and laughing and pretty much doing everything except their jobs. It took several of us angry folks who were about to miss their flight to get them to do anything. We barely made the connection. Seriously. I ran through the terminal. Like in a movie.

Day 1 home: Since no one slept, we were all a bit cranky and groggy but we had a dr. appt for him, which went decent and then we had to run some errands to get formula and such and then we picked up the dogs and came home and spent the next several hours trying to convince an 8 month old that he needed to go to sleep. That doesn't go over very well.

Day 2 home: Grandma Jan came to visit, thank god, so Jeff could go get provisions because we're about to get some massive ice storm and had no food or anything. I am still very sick but can't take medicine because it will knock me out and he is still allergic to SLEEPING so we are up. A lot. I am one of those fools who gets sick if I don't get enough sleep and since I've gotten about 20 hours of it in the last 7 DAYS, I am not getting any better. Grandma helps tremendously but her payment is that she is now also sick. Sorry, grandma.

Day 3: It's almost noon and he has been pretty good all morning. Last night was awful, however. I think he is finally realizing that his "other mom" isn't here anymore and he is pretty pissed off about the whole thing. We got him down at 11pm last night, he slept until 1:45 and then nothing we did would make him stop crying. We tried food, new diaper, playing, holding, rocking, I offered him some money, more food....nothing worked. We finally just put him in the crib and let him have his meltdown, which lasted until almost 5am.

So yeah, um, adopting a baby is VERY STRESSFUL. At least a newborn is starting from scratch, but I have a well developed almost toddler who has his own ways, which are not exactly jiving with our ways, so it's an uphill battle. I'd like to give a shout out to the other adoptive mommas out there who have gone through or are going through this now. It's hard because no one really gets that this IS NOT a normal situation and the next person that tells me that it is and gives me some lame-brained advice that will work for a 3 day old baby but not my kid is going to get a fist flavored sandwich. I keep reminding myself that this will pass and it will get better and goddamn this kid is cute, which makes it slightly easier when he is screaming bloody murder and pooping all over me, don't you agree?

The First Day

So, we made the pickup. It was similar to picking up a UPS package, but with a lot more crying. A LOT MORE. Seriously. They said it would be hard and we knew it would be hard but we didn't know it would be THAT hard. They gave us instructions and paperwork and slings and god knows what else and 20 min. later we were on the sidewalk with him, his foster mom and our social worker hailing a cab. I stood and watched her try and hold it together but the tears came and I gave her a hug and thanked her for caring for my baby for 6 months and then the tears came from me and Jeff and finally she pointed to the cab, motioned for me to sit down, plunked him on my lap and shut the door. I looked up at her and she was crying an I felt so bad for her. They had already told the taxi where to go so off we went. I sobbed and Jeff sobbed and he was FURIOUS. Seriously. He was so mad and he wouldn't sit and he SCREAMED at the top of his lungs the WHOLE WAY. We almost got in two accidents because they drive like psychopaths here and the cabbie wanted us out ASAP, although he seemed very sympathetic to us and babbled in Korean the whole way. I held him in my lap, or tried to at least ( no car seat, we went Britney Spears-style, ya'll) and he cried and screamed and cried and flung himself around and hit my face and I was sobbing and it was NOTHING like the unicorns-farting-rainbows-style Lifetime movie you think it is. Not in the least bit at all. No soft focus, no "I love my new mommy!" no nothing. It was one of the absolute most difficult moments in our lives, all of us. Nothing could have prepared us.

We made it here and he was slightly okay until we got in the room and then it started again and I was sobbing and telling Jeff that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all and maybe we should have just gotten another dog and then we put him in the carrier and I paced the room and suddenly he stopped.

Now, before you roll the credits and say "what a heartwarming story! That's Oscar material for sure" know that this did not last long. We got him to eat and take an hour nap,which was interrupted by Daddy dropping a wooden hanger on the floor and then we found out he LOVES water so we played in the sink but that again only lasted so long. I hope there is a sink on the plane because I am dreading this flight home and nothing I say will convey the overwhelming sense of fear I have. For reals. I am scared shitless. So we played and he finally tired himself out and fell asleep around 11:30pm and slept until 3:30am, which is why I'm up now. We fed him and he was back out. Le sigh. Seoul is truly a kick ass place and I've grown to really love it but I'm really glad to be going home. We went to the big ass crazy market again yesterday on the way to get him and between seeing a woman selling roasted silkworm larvae on the corner and the permanent smell of fermented cabbage and garlic that is EVERYWHERE, I knew I was done.
We leave in about 9 hours for the airport and then 20 hour flight home. Wish us luck. If you hear of a woman jumping from a 777 somewhere over Siberia, you'll know who it was.