Lost Recap

So Lost, ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS? Did you want me to have a heart attack last night because if so, WELL DONE. Holy crap, people. That was explosive and I don't mean in a bomby-type of way. Well kinda but let's start from the beginning...........

-So Desmond, my future second husband and possible sex offender, is rushed to the hospital because he got shot in the bag of groceries. I still haven't figured out how a stalk of celery stopped a bullet but that's neither here nor there. Bottom line is he's shot and in the hospital and Penny and Charlie are there and who shows up to wish him a speedy recovery, Eloise! So kind, that one. Penny is all "who the hell are you" and Eloise says that her son is responsible for Dez getting shot and Penny's all "your son is Ben Linus?" and Eloise, after making a face like she smelled a fart, said no, my son is Daniel Faraday. Dhur. Penny is all "wha?" because she doesn't know Daniel but we know something is awry. We flash back 30 years, or to our present as it is, and we see Daniel getting off the sub. Miles is all hey, thought you got rich on the DVD player but Daniel is all nervous and needs to see Jack. He goes to his house and wants to know how they got to 1977. Jack explains it and Daniel tells him that his Mom was wrong to send them back and Jack is all "are you kidding me FOR REAL?"

-Star Trek commercial. HOLY SHIT THAT LOOKS AWESOME.

-We flash back to a young Daniel and Eloise. He is playing the piano and Eloise comes in to tell him to cut that shit out, he is super smart and needs to use his brain for bigger things than learning how to play the opening to "Wildfire." No, I added that but that's what I'd learn to play first. Anyway, she tells him that he needs to devote his entire existence to MATH, which to me sounds like loads of fun. Seriously, why have a life when there's all this math laying around. Anyway, he is a bit dashed but he loves his Mummy and will do it. Young Eloise is as freaky as old Eloise and you get the feeling she isn't so happy to be doing this. Back on the island, Dan has Miles take him to the Orchid and Jack is pissed so he heads to Sawyer's house, where he has been holding Phil hostage in the closet since the whole tape fiasco. Oops. Meanwhile, Dan and Miles get to the Orchid and Dan seems to know what's going to happen because of his journal. Change pulls up and Dan tries to talk to him about the electromagnetic issues they have underground and that in a few hours they will drill into this stuff and cause "the incident." Chang is all "don't mess with me, bub" and doesn't believe him. He tells him Miles is his son and that they are all from the future but Chang doesn't want to hear it and blows them off.

-In the past, or future as it may be, Dan is now graduating from college and has a sweetie and his mother is NOT amused. They go to lunch and she basically tells him that he needs to focus on his work, not his girlfriend and you can see he is weary of having this devotion. She gives him his journal as a gift. He probably would have wanted cash but whatever. He tells her that he just got $1.5 million research grant from some dude named Charles Widmore and Eloise bristles at this but she tells him she doesn't want to fight and good luck. Back on the island, the gang is together at Sawyer and Juliette's house trying to figure out what to do. Miles and Daniel show up and Daniel says he needs to find the hostiles because his mother is there and she can help them. Sawyer is all "hell naw" but Jack and Kate decide to take him. The rest of them are told to pack their shit, they're going back to the beach where this all started. THE JIG IS UP. It's also pretty clear at this point that Sawyer and Juliette don't really want to leave their nice life here. Hmm. Think about that.

-In the past, we see Widmore visiting a very messed up Daniel.We can assume at this point that he has already done his experiments because they have left him with no memory and a case of the crazies and we know his poor assistant/girlfriend has met her fate as we saw her last. Widdy tells him that he planted the plane and the real one crashed on a freaky island that he needs to go to to help the people and to fix himself. Okay. So here we are again. Is Widmore good or bad? Is he sending Daniel there to fix all this stuff or was it really to kill? Was Daniel sent to detonate the bomb to get rid of the island or was he really sent there to change all this? How much does Widmore know of what has happened? Back on the island, Jack and Kate go to get some guns while Dan goes to find Charlotte, who is about 7 and DARLING. He tells her that she is going to have to leave the island and he gets all weird and the poor kid was probably like who is this crazy man but I assume that this memory will now effect Charlotte somehow. While they're getting their guns, Radzinsky shows up and then guns are pulled and there is a FREAKING SHOOT OUT!!! Holy crap. Jack and Kate are all "YEE HAW, POW POW POW" and at some point Dan gets shot in the neck (only a graze of course) and they make it to the Jeep and take off. "SOUND THE ALARM!" Hurley and Miles see Radzinsky heading to Sawyer's after the shoot out and they're all "this isn't good" and Radzinsky and his men go in and discover Phil in the closet. Uh Oh. Sawyer and Juliette are caught. I feel bad for them because this was their happy life and it's all messed up now.

-Whew. Now we see Dan back at the piano and Eloise is there again. She tells him that he needs to take up Widdy's offer and go to the island. He just wants to know if it will make her proud of him and she says yes. So, another poor parent/child relationship on this show. Sheesh. Danny just wants his mommy to love him and while I think she does to a point, I think she is in this for her own reasons and had basically sacrificed her child's life. Well played, lady. Meanwhile, Jack, Kate and Dan flee the Dharma boundary and on the way, he explains what is going on. He tells them about the electromagnetic thingamajig and that the hatch (THEIR HATCH) was built over this thing and that the whole "Desmond pushing the button" thing was FOR REAL and that he was doing it to keep this energy at bay. So now we know. Not pushing the button releases the energy, which is what brought down the plane and now everything is in flux. He says that he never factored in the people, which are the variable in this long equation. He thinks that they can all change what happened by detonating the H-bomb. By doing this, it will in essence wipe out everything that happened up to this point. Now, does it wipe out everything from 1977 on or from Desmond not pushing the button. I'm thinking it's from 1977 on, which would men that most of these people would basically get to start their lives over again. They are all roughly the same age right, so they all get a second chance. Their destiny isn't really their destiny anymore because everything got all messed up when they turned the wheel and skipped the record that is the island. Unless it IS their destiny and no matter what they do, it will always end up happening. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

-Back at the hospital, Eloise apologizes to Penny and says she is sorry if anything happens to Dez because "for the first time in a long time, I don't know what's going to happen." So, this has to mean that Eloise has time traveled successfully, right? She knows a lot of stuff we need to know. FESS UP OLD LADY. Anyway, touching reunion between Dez and Penny ensues. Hooray! Eloise leaves and is met by Charles. He knows Penny is inside but he won't go in, even though Eloise suggests it. He says his relationship with her was something he had to sacrifice for all this and she gets all mad and is all "don't tell me about sacrifice" and then as she mentions sending her son back to the island "knowing full well...", Widdy is all "he's my son, too." Cue dramatic music. Eloise slaps the crap out of him and takes off. So, this probably means that they did the deed on the island and then Widdy left, knocked up Penny's mom and had her off the island. Slut. Anyway, I can only think that perhaps Eloise knows that sending Danny back would seal his fate. Kate, Jack and Dan press on until they find the hostiles camp. He goes in, demands to know where Eloise is and holds them all at gunpoint, mainly Richard, who AGAIN seems perplexed as to who he is. More on that in a minute. Richard tells him she isn't there right now but he demands again and then BAM, he is shot in the back........by Eloise. Dan's own mom killed him in 1977. He tells her he is her son and he suddenly realizes that she knew this would happen and sent him back anyway. Poor guy. He really has issues with her. Just because she sent him to his death doesn't mean she doesn't love him. Oh, yeah it does. Sorry Dan. Eloise doesn't know who he is. I am having issue with this. Why don't' these people recognize them? Why didn't Richard know who he was since he had been the one to help with the bomb back in the 50s? Are they time traveling, or is this more of an alternate plane type of thing where they are all existing together but at different times and such. I know I've said this before but that's got to be it. String theory. Many versions of the same person existing on different planes, each having a slightly different life. Maybe this means you don't really ever die because you are always existing at some point in time. AAAAACCCKKKK.

Okay, so the million dollar question is, if you could go back in time and change what has happened, good and bad, would you? Their lives were all pretty messed up before they got on that plane and despite the fact that they were trapped on the island, help captive, some were killed and all have been generally haunted by what has happened, would they change it? A lot of this depends on how far back they go, of course, but this is a big question. Even though shit happened, would you get rid of the good to get rid of the bad?

My brain is OFF for the rest of the day after this.

Laugh it up.

So, over the weekend I took video of Max. What you get is 1 1/2 minutes of him laughing. Enjoy.

It was like bird jerky.

Oh yeah, I forgot this. Yesterday, we decided to venture out to run errands and when we got to the end of our street, we saw a golden retriever puppy in the middle of the road. We live in the city so runaway dogs scare me because people fly down the streets here and I've seen enough dead cats to know they don't stop for animals. Anyway, I recognized the dog and knew where it lived so Jeff pulled over and I got out to get it. It wasn't far from it's house and he came right to me but he had something in his mouth. My main concern was getting him and me out of the street so I didn't see what it was until I got him closer to the porch. It was also windy and my skirt kept flying up so I'm sure the neighbors also saw my ass. You're welcome. Anyway, the dog was VERY energetic and was like holding on to a lightening bolt and I finally dragged it to the porch and knocked. I heard someone come to the door but then no noise so I yelled "HEY, I have your dog" and knocked again harder. I finally heard louder footsteps and the door flung open and the dog owner lady was standing there with her mouth open. "OH MY GOD, where was he?? He was supposed to be in the yard? How did he get out?" I had no answers but I did say "um, I think he has something in his mouth" and then she saw it and I helped her hold the dog so she could go down it's throat and retrieve whatever it was. Well, IT was a goddamn DEAD BIRD that the dog was chewing on the whole time. SICK SICK SICK SICK. It had been run over so it was all flat but you could still tell it was a bird and the dog was all "YUMMY" and the poor lady had to go in and grab it and pull it out, along with some throw up. At this point I was totally grossed out and was all "okay, see ya" and ran back to the car.

That dog knew the bird was the word.

Insert Title Here.

Pisces, Monday, 27 April 2009
Welcome to a special time. A very special, very significant, very magical time. Please don't assume, from this, that everything will work out as you want. It may do. Or it may not. That doesn't matter. Truly it doesn't. What matters is that you are learning something now about how you really feel - and who you truly are. In the long run (and, actually, in the short run too) this enlightening discovery that you are about to make will be worth far more than any exciting but temporary worldly success.



I haven't posted a horoscope in a while because they have sucked but this one I approve of. I love the vagueness of this. Meh, things might be great, they might be shit but no worry, you'll be all the better no matter what. FANTASTIC!



So, we decided that since I've had a couple of cake-free weekends, we would try to take advantage of the nice weather with Kimchi so we decided to take our first official trip to the zoo. We went on Saturday morning and got there as soon as they opened. We live about 5 minutes from the zoo but that didn't stop me from panicking that we would not beat the crowds. I had nothing to fear, however, since we ended up scoring a kick-ass parking spot on the street, which translates to FREE PARKING. The zoo wants $11 to park in their lot. Now, we are so fortunate to have a world-class zoo that is free to get in, so I guess they have to make their jack somehow but I was still glad to say eff-you to $11 parking. We made a beeline to the children's zoo and when we got there and went up to pay our $4 admission, we saw that we were so early they weren't even charging yet! SCORE AGAIN. Luckily it wasn't very crowded yet but the goats in the petting area were still waking up so they mostly laid around seemed generally annoyed we were there. Kimchi was not sure what to make of them so I kept saying "BIG PUPPIES!" He was clinging to me like a chimp and wanted nothing to do with the goats. I finally got him relaxed and he allowed me to put him down so he could pet them.


This goat was not playing and he is giving us the side-eye.


What?

That's en elephant way off in the distance. He is clearly more interested in what's going on over there.

The monkeys were also not interesting to him. Suck it, lemur.

After that, we wandered around for a while but he really wasn't too interested in any of the animals. We would point to things but he would just look at our hands making the pointy motion and not at what were pointing at. He liked the giraffe but only because it was close and he could see all of it. By the end, he was getting really fussy and the crowds had come and it was getting hot so we decided to get the hell out. It was nice to look at the clock and see it was only 11am and we had already gone to the zoo. I hate mornings more than I can express but there is something to be said for getting a crapload of stuff done before noon. We went home and put the little prince down for a nap and we vegged out on the couch for a bit. We decided he's probably still too little to really enjoy this stuff so we're going to put our trip to Disneyworld on hold. I KEED, I KEED.

Sliiiiiide to the left, sliiiiiiide to the right

So, Jeff and I took Kimchi to the park yesterday. There's really only one thing he can play on at this point, which is the slide. Jeff took pics of him last time but we actually remembered the video camera this time. PARENTING WIN! You would think that since I made a point to buy the tiniest camera I could find, I would just carry it around in case something awesome happens but that does not appear to be the case. If I could remember the camera I might also do something crazy like remember to bring my own bags to the grocery store but again I fail. Sorry earth, better luck next time. Where was I? Oh yeah, the park. So we got there and there were some older kids playing kind of wild (listen to me. I have tuned into my grandma) so we kept to the slide the whole time. Here's what happened the first time he went down:

Huh. Not so much. We worked on it a few times and finally by the end he was rocking this

Nice! He is a slide genius. Of course he is.

Can I get the gas next time?

So, I went to the dentist today. It was my second visit this week, the first being Tuesday. Jeff has been bugging me to go for months because the only time I've gone in the last, um, let's just say many years has been for an emergency root canal but that's a story for another day. Actually it isn't. Cracked tooth on bagel. Went to dentist. Drilled out tooth and put on cap. End of story. Anyway, I had been experiencing some sensitivity in the teeth recently so I decided to make Jeff happy and go in for a check-up/cleaning. I was nervous because nothing good happens at the dentist and I have horrid memories of my last visit, pre root-canal. Well, they took a bunch of x-rays and the lady was like "um, how long has it been since your last cleaning?" and I was like "what year is this?" but she wasn't laughing so I told her it's been a very, very long time BUT I brush all the time. She said I had a lot of tarter under the gum line, and she stressed A LOT and not only would I need to sit there for the initial cleaning, but I was going to have to come back for "under the gum scraping." The hell I will. She convinced me that if I did this, I would have the gums of a 20 year old and I'm a sucker so back I went today for said scraping.

Personally, I think these dentists need to think of kinder words for the things they do to your mouth, especially when they call and ask you to come in 30 minutes early so that the tech will have PLENTY of time to get in all the scraping necessary. Anyway, they told me I would be numbed for this occasion, thank you jesus, but I might experience some "discomfort." Super. They gave me the Novocaine and a Woman's Day magazine and while I learned the secrets of saving money at the grocery store (SPOILER ALERT! Buy cheaper shit.), the right side of my face began to numb. Yes, I said right side and face. You see, they only do one side at a time so I have to GO BACK and get the left side done and the massive amount of Novocaine they gave me numbed me from my eyeball to my chin. Unfortunately, it did not completely numb th inside part of my upper teeth but I decided I didn't want another shot so I suffered through. She started with some kind of mouth jackhammer and chipped off all the tarter under my gums, which felt AWESOME (not) and followed that up with some hand scraping. For that, she used a pointy hook thing that looked like it could kill someone and she proceeded to scrape my teeth with such force I thought either they were going to fly out of my head or I was going to be flung across the room into the wall. This lady had some serious strength and she was not playing. The best part is that the whole time she was chatting me up and all I could do was grunt and nod. I had a line of drool going down each side of my mouth and my lips had dried so badly they were stuck to my front teeth and I couldn't free them. It was a good look. She got all the crap chipped off, gave them a polish and off I went. Overall the pain wasn't too bad and I'm glad it was done.

However.

The Novocaine had left me completely numb still on the ENTIRE RIGHT SIDE OF MY FACE. I had to go pick up Kimchi from Liz, who had been so kind to watch him during my dental trials and tribulations this week and when I called to tell her I was on my way, it came out sounding like Quasimodo. If you watch Family Guy, there is an episode where Peter has a stroke and he is left paralyzed on one side and he calls it his stroke side. Well, I felt like I had stroke face. My right nostril was even drawn down and I looked like half of a Salvador Dali painting. I got to Liz's house and we all found vast amusement from this. I tried to drink from a straw but it would just run out so I gave up. I had to stop for gas and I could barely utter "pump 2, please" because I could not form the words. It took a good 3 hours for this shit to wear off and now I'm left with extreme jaw pain from the shot and from holding my mouth open for that long. I was going to make a prostitute joke here but I won't. ANYWAYS, that's my story. I have a month break before the next round. Tune in again.

Cake Alert

You know the drill.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com