Laugh it up.

So, over the weekend I took video of Max. What you get is 1 1/2 minutes of him laughing. Enjoy.

It was like bird jerky.

Oh yeah, I forgot this. Yesterday, we decided to venture out to run errands and when we got to the end of our street, we saw a golden retriever puppy in the middle of the road. We live in the city so runaway dogs scare me because people fly down the streets here and I've seen enough dead cats to know they don't stop for animals. Anyway, I recognized the dog and knew where it lived so Jeff pulled over and I got out to get it. It wasn't far from it's house and he came right to me but he had something in his mouth. My main concern was getting him and me out of the street so I didn't see what it was until I got him closer to the porch. It was also windy and my skirt kept flying up so I'm sure the neighbors also saw my ass. You're welcome. Anyway, the dog was VERY energetic and was like holding on to a lightening bolt and I finally dragged it to the porch and knocked. I heard someone come to the door but then no noise so I yelled "HEY, I have your dog" and knocked again harder. I finally heard louder footsteps and the door flung open and the dog owner lady was standing there with her mouth open. "OH MY GOD, where was he?? He was supposed to be in the yard? How did he get out?" I had no answers but I did say "um, I think he has something in his mouth" and then she saw it and I helped her hold the dog so she could go down it's throat and retrieve whatever it was. Well, IT was a goddamn DEAD BIRD that the dog was chewing on the whole time. SICK SICK SICK SICK. It had been run over so it was all flat but you could still tell it was a bird and the dog was all "YUMMY" and the poor lady had to go in and grab it and pull it out, along with some throw up. At this point I was totally grossed out and was all "okay, see ya" and ran back to the car.

That dog knew the bird was the word.

Insert Title Here.

Pisces, Monday, 27 April 2009
Welcome to a special time. A very special, very significant, very magical time. Please don't assume, from this, that everything will work out as you want. It may do. Or it may not. That doesn't matter. Truly it doesn't. What matters is that you are learning something now about how you really feel - and who you truly are. In the long run (and, actually, in the short run too) this enlightening discovery that you are about to make will be worth far more than any exciting but temporary worldly success.



I haven't posted a horoscope in a while because they have sucked but this one I approve of. I love the vagueness of this. Meh, things might be great, they might be shit but no worry, you'll be all the better no matter what. FANTASTIC!



So, we decided that since I've had a couple of cake-free weekends, we would try to take advantage of the nice weather with Kimchi so we decided to take our first official trip to the zoo. We went on Saturday morning and got there as soon as they opened. We live about 5 minutes from the zoo but that didn't stop me from panicking that we would not beat the crowds. I had nothing to fear, however, since we ended up scoring a kick-ass parking spot on the street, which translates to FREE PARKING. The zoo wants $11 to park in their lot. Now, we are so fortunate to have a world-class zoo that is free to get in, so I guess they have to make their jack somehow but I was still glad to say eff-you to $11 parking. We made a beeline to the children's zoo and when we got there and went up to pay our $4 admission, we saw that we were so early they weren't even charging yet! SCORE AGAIN. Luckily it wasn't very crowded yet but the goats in the petting area were still waking up so they mostly laid around seemed generally annoyed we were there. Kimchi was not sure what to make of them so I kept saying "BIG PUPPIES!" He was clinging to me like a chimp and wanted nothing to do with the goats. I finally got him relaxed and he allowed me to put him down so he could pet them.


This goat was not playing and he is giving us the side-eye.


What?

That's en elephant way off in the distance. He is clearly more interested in what's going on over there.

The monkeys were also not interesting to him. Suck it, lemur.

After that, we wandered around for a while but he really wasn't too interested in any of the animals. We would point to things but he would just look at our hands making the pointy motion and not at what were pointing at. He liked the giraffe but only because it was close and he could see all of it. By the end, he was getting really fussy and the crowds had come and it was getting hot so we decided to get the hell out. It was nice to look at the clock and see it was only 11am and we had already gone to the zoo. I hate mornings more than I can express but there is something to be said for getting a crapload of stuff done before noon. We went home and put the little prince down for a nap and we vegged out on the couch for a bit. We decided he's probably still too little to really enjoy this stuff so we're going to put our trip to Disneyworld on hold. I KEED, I KEED.

Sliiiiiide to the left, sliiiiiiide to the right

So, Jeff and I took Kimchi to the park yesterday. There's really only one thing he can play on at this point, which is the slide. Jeff took pics of him last time but we actually remembered the video camera this time. PARENTING WIN! You would think that since I made a point to buy the tiniest camera I could find, I would just carry it around in case something awesome happens but that does not appear to be the case. If I could remember the camera I might also do something crazy like remember to bring my own bags to the grocery store but again I fail. Sorry earth, better luck next time. Where was I? Oh yeah, the park. So we got there and there were some older kids playing kind of wild (listen to me. I have tuned into my grandma) so we kept to the slide the whole time. Here's what happened the first time he went down:

Huh. Not so much. We worked on it a few times and finally by the end he was rocking this

Nice! He is a slide genius. Of course he is.

Can I get the gas next time?

So, I went to the dentist today. It was my second visit this week, the first being Tuesday. Jeff has been bugging me to go for months because the only time I've gone in the last, um, let's just say many years has been for an emergency root canal but that's a story for another day. Actually it isn't. Cracked tooth on bagel. Went to dentist. Drilled out tooth and put on cap. End of story. Anyway, I had been experiencing some sensitivity in the teeth recently so I decided to make Jeff happy and go in for a check-up/cleaning. I was nervous because nothing good happens at the dentist and I have horrid memories of my last visit, pre root-canal. Well, they took a bunch of x-rays and the lady was like "um, how long has it been since your last cleaning?" and I was like "what year is this?" but she wasn't laughing so I told her it's been a very, very long time BUT I brush all the time. She said I had a lot of tarter under the gum line, and she stressed A LOT and not only would I need to sit there for the initial cleaning, but I was going to have to come back for "under the gum scraping." The hell I will. She convinced me that if I did this, I would have the gums of a 20 year old and I'm a sucker so back I went today for said scraping.

Personally, I think these dentists need to think of kinder words for the things they do to your mouth, especially when they call and ask you to come in 30 minutes early so that the tech will have PLENTY of time to get in all the scraping necessary. Anyway, they told me I would be numbed for this occasion, thank you jesus, but I might experience some "discomfort." Super. They gave me the Novocaine and a Woman's Day magazine and while I learned the secrets of saving money at the grocery store (SPOILER ALERT! Buy cheaper shit.), the right side of my face began to numb. Yes, I said right side and face. You see, they only do one side at a time so I have to GO BACK and get the left side done and the massive amount of Novocaine they gave me numbed me from my eyeball to my chin. Unfortunately, it did not completely numb th inside part of my upper teeth but I decided I didn't want another shot so I suffered through. She started with some kind of mouth jackhammer and chipped off all the tarter under my gums, which felt AWESOME (not) and followed that up with some hand scraping. For that, she used a pointy hook thing that looked like it could kill someone and she proceeded to scrape my teeth with such force I thought either they were going to fly out of my head or I was going to be flung across the room into the wall. This lady had some serious strength and she was not playing. The best part is that the whole time she was chatting me up and all I could do was grunt and nod. I had a line of drool going down each side of my mouth and my lips had dried so badly they were stuck to my front teeth and I couldn't free them. It was a good look. She got all the crap chipped off, gave them a polish and off I went. Overall the pain wasn't too bad and I'm glad it was done.

However.

The Novocaine had left me completely numb still on the ENTIRE RIGHT SIDE OF MY FACE. I had to go pick up Kimchi from Liz, who had been so kind to watch him during my dental trials and tribulations this week and when I called to tell her I was on my way, it came out sounding like Quasimodo. If you watch Family Guy, there is an episode where Peter has a stroke and he is left paralyzed on one side and he calls it his stroke side. Well, I felt like I had stroke face. My right nostril was even drawn down and I looked like half of a Salvador Dali painting. I got to Liz's house and we all found vast amusement from this. I tried to drink from a straw but it would just run out so I gave up. I had to stop for gas and I could barely utter "pump 2, please" because I could not form the words. It took a good 3 hours for this shit to wear off and now I'm left with extreme jaw pain from the shot and from holding my mouth open for that long. I was going to make a prostitute joke here but I won't. ANYWAYS, that's my story. I have a month break before the next round. Tune in again.

Cake Alert

You know the drill.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

Lost Recap

So, I'm going to give a very brief Lost recap. I say brief and I MEAN IT. I have only a precious few minutes before the dogs get pelted by cheerios. I can see for miles and miles and miles......


-Miles-centric episode. Great. We needed it. We knew he was Chung's son, we knew he talked to the deed, we knew he was born on the island. We learned he lived with his mother only because his father abandoned them (I assume being dead from the purge makes it hard to visit), he was a cute little punker as a youngster and that he made a living as one of Dionne Warwick's psychic friends, talking to dead people for cold hard cash. So Naomi, working for Widdy who is fond of Miles' unusual talent, offers him $1.6 mil for going to the island to get info out of some corpses. He says sure but before he goes he is semi-kidnapped by some dudes and asked "what lies in the shadow of the statue?" which we also heard from Ileana. He says "?" and they tell him he's not ready to go to the island. They also tell him he's working for the wrong side and that if he wants to fill his emotional void that he needs to join them and they will help him. He says pay me double and you're on, they say we don't pay anyone and toss him out.

-He sees Daddy on the island, tells Hurley all about it but gets mad when Hurley teases him. He says he had no relationship with daddy and Hurley says he may not have HAD one, but he can HAVE one now. Interesting perspective. He also sees that daddy is a douchebag but then he sees him cuddling and reading to is infant self and he starts to realize that maybe he loved him after all. This confirms to us that yes, you can interact with your past self, which blows A LOT of theories out of the water. It also begs the question of whether the island is there as a form of redemption. It's been discussed but this makes me think yes. Jack seems to have "fixed" his desire to fix everything knowing nothing he does will change anything. What a relief that must be to him. Sawyer finally got the chance to be in charge and respected. Who knows.

- Sawyer is in deep doo doo after the tape of him bringing Ben to the others fell into the wrong hands. Uh oh.

- Back to Miles, when they asked him the question, they told him he wasn't ready. When they kicked him out, he asked who they were working for and they said the side that's gonna win, right? Well, if they are working for Ben, which we sorta have to assume for now since they DON'T want him working for Widdy, why didn't Ileana know who Ben was? If that question is the marker for those people, she would have known her own boss was right there, right? Methinks that there might be a third party here at work. Maybe it's Dharma, maybe it's Hanso. I don't know yet. Are the dead bodies Widdy wanted to talk to the purged Dharma peeps or someone else?

Think amongst yourselves. I gotta go pick up cheerios.