How to make kimchi

Happy Gotcha Day, Mia!

2012-02-15T11:21:00.000-08:00

So, as we already know, I only have my act together about 3% of the time anymore, so it should come as no surprise that this is post is a day late. A year ago yesterday, we met little Mia. I will never forget walking in and seeing here there with her foster mom. She looked exactly like her picture, down to the rosy cheeks. When we walked into the room, everyone stood up and then everything got all swirly and overwhelming and everyone was trying to talk at once and I just stood there like a deer in the headlights staring at Mia until Jeff made me sit in a chair. The next hour went by in an agonizing blur of questions and awkwardness and tears and all the while Mia wanted nothing to do with us. Nothing. Not even a wave. I tried to bribe her with food but it only lasted a minute and she was clamoring back to her foster mother. I knew that this wasn't going to go as it did for Max and I started to get really scared. She was SO PISSED that we were there and she was sick and I knew she just wanted to go back to her home.

Soon they told us to follow them downstairs so we could see the doctor and it was just a chaotic mess of foster moms, babies and workers and holy lord it was SO HOT and I had on a wool sweater and it was itching and I was sweating badly and probably smelled like a foot. We met the doctor, asked a few more questions and then suddenly we were handed all this medicine and paperwork and bags and a howling baby and plopped into a waiting cab. Mia was beyond upset at this point and I struggled to get into the cab with her. The social worker leaned in and with a worried look said she would pray for us (not a feel good send off, fyi) and soon we were stuck in the never ending clog of Seoul traffic with a wailing baby. I tried everything in my power to calm her (blinky monkey! bouncy leg!) but she didn't stop until she passed out about 3 blocks from the hotel (which is about a 20 minute drive in traffic. For real.). The lovely cab driver, who had spent a good deal of time yelling "KOREAN BABY NUMBER ONE!" at us during the ride, helped me out with her and gave me an oddly comforting little hug and a sympathetic smile before he sped off. We took her in the hotel and as we made our way through the lobby, she woke up, realized we were not her foster mom and that this shit was real and proceeded to lose her marbles again. There was a Buddhist monk convention going on (of course) and so there were like 10 monks in the lobby while this was happening and they all bowed their head a bit as we walked through this sea of orange and red robes and I was like "please let them be joining forces to help us" because that is a lot of monk power right there. MAKE IT HAPPEN. When we got upstairs, she was so tired from crying that she reluctantly took a bottle, let us clean her up a little and posed for a few pics before passing out for the next 13 hours until she woke up and it all started over again. And again. And again. For weeks.

But, if you had told me that a year later, this same kid would be showering us with kisses, dancing to sick beats and chasing her brother around laughing like a lunatic, I would have rolled my eyes and called you a liar. She is one of the happiest, joyful little scamps I've ever known and is truly like a little ray of sunshine. Part of her birth name means "grace" and it couldn't be more fitting. Her turnaround has been remarkable and I can't imagine her not being here now. I am in such in awe when we see her smile and laugh, knowing the pain she went through a year (and a day) ago. These are two tough little kids we have here and their road may be rocky at times but we're all walking down it together.

Mia, 2011

Mia, 2012
Love you, baby.

Deep in my Seoul

2012-02-09T11:12:00.000-08:00

So, like I said the other day when we were catching up, we're in attachment therapy with both Max and Mia. What is this, you may be asking? Well, we go to a therapist who helps us learn to "attachment parent" which is a complicated way of parenting when your kids have a rocky start and may have some issues to sort through. Adopted kids fall into this category fairly frequently and as they've gotten older, we've seen behaviors that required we turn off our blinders and address them. When we were just starting our process with Max, we had to take these classes about parenting and adoption and they tell you about all the fun stuff that can go awry and about attachment and quite frankly it's all a little overwhelming because you haven't even gotten the kid yet so your brain kind of puts it somewhere and you go on about your day. You figure it probably won't happen to you because you're going to love the shit out of this kid and that they won't have issues. I mean, they're just babies and babies don't remember stuff, right?

Right?

Well, as we've come to know, babies DO remember, especially when they've dealt with stuff like foster homes, medical issues and being taken 6000 miles across the world where nothing and no one is familiar. As our therapist Oprah (not her real name) explains, all this stuff is stored in the nervous system and then it gets unleashed when you least expect it. For instance, birthdays can be difficult when you're adopted and we noticed that there was a 2 week period around Mia's birthday when she was totally out of sorts and acting like a huge jerk. I thought she was sick or something but she was fine, just sad and pissed off all the time. When I told Oprah about this, I asked if this could be her reacting to her birthday, although I didn't really think it was, and she said yes. Jeff and I rolled our eyes silently thinking that this lady was whackadoo and that there was no way Mia woke up, got out her Yahoo calendar and thought HOT DAMN IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. She is a BABY, not a robot. We talked on the drive home about how hard this concept is for us to grasp and that it was probably something else, partially because it does seem ridiculous and partially because we really didn't want it to be true.

However, I started to notice something in myself recently. I've been feeling this restlessness about the kids, like I'm obsessed with them knowing how much I love them and junk (they think I'm insane and wish I would leave them the hell alone) and I keep thinking about their birth moms and their foster moms and planning our fantasy trip back in my head and then yesterday my friend Connie sent me an article from Time Magazine about a girl going back to Seoul to find her birth mom and I lost it. I LOST MY SHIT FOR 30 MINUTES. I was sobbing and I called Jeff and he was like "um, are you okay, crazy wife?" because I was crying and babbling on about this article and how he should read it but not at work because he might do the ugly cry like I was but then I remembered that he isn't a lunatic and could probably handle it which he of course could and did. (If you're interested, it's http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,997807-1,00.html. Grab a hankie.)

So what does all this gibberish mean, blog lady and why aren't you writing about something FUNNY? Well, my nervous system was remembering that it was a year ago today that we left for Korea to bring Mia home. I honestly knew it was coming up, I'm not that horrible, but it wasn't in the forefront of my brain but then it all made sense. On the surface when we talk about it, we talk about the fun stuff we did and seeing her and all that jazz but it had actually been so much more nerve wracking then it was with Max because we were clueless then and now we knew all the stuff that could go wrong and as we all remember, did go wrong, and it was also the first time I had that overwhelming feeling of dread knowing you were leaving your child. We had gone away for short trips but when we put Max to bed that night and I knew that I wouldn't see him again until we got home, after a 12,000 mile round trip, well all I can say is it felt like someone ripped all my insides out, threw them on the ground, stomped them like grapes and made human wine. Couple that with the issues we had in Korea and so yeah, I kinda get it now. Oprah isn't crazy after all and deep down your body does remember this stuff, especially when shit gets real, even if your brain pictures are showing you something different.

A Fish Tale

2012-02-07T12:14:00.000-08:00

So I mentioned the suicidal fish before so I'm now going to talk about our betta fish Gene. Gene, or Gene, Gene the Dancing Machine as his official birth certificate states, has been with us for a little over a year and in that time I've brought him back from the brink of death FIVE times, and quite frankly he's been a very stressful pet to have, plus he eats blood worms which are really disgusting and get all over my counter. Prior to Gene, we had Fred, who met his untimely demise due to a water ph problem (my fault) and after we gave him his porcelain burial, I felt super guilty for my bad fish parenting and decided to right my wrong with Gene. This is a bad idea for life in case you were wondering.

First I had to cure his popeye, which is exactly what it sounds like, the fish's eye was POPPED OUT and totally freaking me out and after consulting the lady at Petsmart who said I needed a $20 antibiotic for a $7 fish (um, no), I used magical holistic methods (the internet) and somehow it went away. Then, when we returned from Korea with Mia, we saw that Max had been allowed to feed Gene, which meant he got the entire container of food in one dump. The tank was so thick with food sludge that you could barely see him so the first thing I did when we got home was clean out the tank while wearing my new baby and he once again, lived to see another day. However, in the course of the next few months, every time I cleaned out his tank I would find he had leapt out of the cup and onto the counter presumably to end his life. This happened three times and I was about to call a therapist but then I remembered it was a fish.

Anyway, the other day, I noticed he wasn't eating and floating kind of sideways and even though I would give him a poke now and again to see if he was still with us, I assumed he was finally meeting his fish maker but then it just went on and on and I was like "what the hell Gene, are you going for an Oscar or what?" and then he just kept on living. We moved him into some fresh water and he kind of perked up but was still swimming like he was half paralyzed so after playing Dr. Google Fish Version, my diagnosis is that he has swim bladder disease and probably fin rot. OF COURSE HE DOES. So now we're yet again trying to cure this goddamn fish as if I have nothing better to do and I read that they can live for 10 YEARS. If this is true, I may need to find him a new fish home. Any takers? I'll even throw in the blood worms.

The Queen of K-Pop

2012-02-01T15:51:00.000-08:00

A Merger

2012-02-01T12:57:00.000-08:00

So, as I mentioned before, I have another blog called Amy Playing Dress Up and if you haven't checked it out yet (you jerk!) it's about clothes and junk but having two blogs is more than my small mouse brain can handle so I'm merging them into this one blog right here. That means that you will occasionally see style posts mixed with the poo talk. I hope you can handle it.

Catching Up Part Deux

2012-02-01T12:25:00.000-08:00

So, Max is going to be 4 this spring and I almost can't believe it. The last year has flown by and I feel like an old person telling my kids they're growing like weeds but THEY REALLY ARE and he's literally less than 24" shorter than me. He is a wonderful, sweet, hilarious, gross and half deranged kid most of the time, with occasional bursts of supreme loviness and feral cat-like tantrums to keep it all fresh and interesting. Little kids are just really a whole other species, aren't they? They're just so weird and he's learning a lot right now and it's all jumbled up in that big brain with the energy of a medium sized power station so he's like a crazy little firecracker looking for a spark at all times. He is a great big brother 76% of the time and the other 24% is spent yelling at Mia to leave him aloooooooone, he's TRYING TO PLAY. He's super smart and I'm amazed on the daily at the stuff he says and does that seems years beyond him. He also acts like a rebellous teenager which is why we are currently on behavior lock down right now and much like the boys from "Talladega Nights" learned, it's time for Granny Law in this house before we get a visit from the Supernanny.

Since Mia came home, Max has had a bit of a rough go adjusting to all the changes and one of the things that kind of fell by the wayside, and by wayside I mean it fell off the face of the earth into a fiery pit along with The One Ring, was his potty training. He was never super excited about it to begin with as he's inherited my extreme laziness, but at this point we're still full on diapers only. Yes, I said diapers. Not even pull ups. Sometimes I can get that going with the promise of some M&M's but not often. We've tried it all, timed intervals, toilet targets, rewards, letting him sit in poo, etc. and at this point everyone tells us to just let it go and he'll figure it out eventually, that he knows what to do but now it's a power struggle and blah blah blah. He will go at school, of course because why would he want to make Miss Patty upset, but the minute we get home it's pee pee in the pants time and let's remember he eats a FULL DIET. He's also pants optional pretty much all the time so you will usually find him running around here in a shirt, diaper and nothing else. Did I mention he's almost 4? Just this morning I asked him if he wanted to try the potty and he said "mom, is it because my diaper isn't a personal toilet?" I have no idea where this came from but it was wise so I said yes but then he proclaimed I was wrong, his diaper was indeed a personal toilet because he was in fact peeing at that very moment. Touche', Max.

Catching Up

2012-01-30T12:59:00.000-08:00

So, let's start with Mia. She turned 2 in December and overall she's made a lot of progress from last summer to now, amazing progress actually, when you remember how she was when she came home. She quickly went from walking to running and and spends a lot of her time trying to annoy Max in new and exciting ways. She's a happy little bugger and it may have taken almost a year, but we're finally seeing her sweet (and sometimes ornery) personality come out and I feel like we finally "know" her. On the "still working on this shit" side, she is still SUPER attached to me, although to a slightly lesser degree and while I can usually walk freely around the house without issues, leaving her with sitters, even those she knows very well, can erupt into World War III in an instant so we're in attachment therapy (we'll get to this later) to try and figure out how to unlock her sweet little claws from around my neck because we're literally together 24/7. OH GOD, BUT IT'S SO SWEET, everyone says! Yes, but only for 5 minutes! Not being able to go to Target or take a poo alone is not sweet. Mommy needs her time!

In addition, she doesn't talk. For real. No words. WE'RE ALSO WORKING ON THIS. She's in a special program and we start her therapy for that in the next week. We kept thinking she would just start talking one day but then months went by and more months went by and MORE MONTHS and then I thought, hmmm...this really isn't happening, is it? She has one glorious word (YEAH!) and she uses it for everything. Trying to figure out what Mia wants is like a never ending game of charades where the only clue you have is possibly place, because she may or may not point to what she wants to throw you a bone (usually not), hence, there is a lot of raptor like screeching in our house, along with some grunting, high pitched squeals, babbling that sometimes sounds like a word and then I flip out and we have a big celebration but then I realize it wasn't a word after all and then it's a total let down, pointing, pointing and yelling and a then more yelling. She attempts a few words like bye bye or mama but yeah, not so much overall and everything sounds like BAP-BAP. They think most of her issues have to do with her mouth so I think that's where they're starting. Considering I was never able to teach the dog a single thing, lord help this child who has to learn to talk from me. The WORST part is that since she doesn't talk, you kind of forget that she understands every damn thing you say and as we know, I've never met a swear word I didn't like so let's hope her first word is fork and not....well, you get it.

Oh yeah, she also co-sleeps. Every night. Every. Damn. Night. You may recall our sleep adventures with Max. I now laugh in their face. Mia takes sleeping issues to an entirely new level, like an extra circle of hell no one knew about until now. There's no crying it out with this one. Unless you count my crying. This is why the lord made Arbor Mist.

Grand Re-Opening! Rev up your reading eyes!

2012-01-29T16:53:00.000-08:00

So, it's a new year and if there are any readers left out there that aren't my mom, you will be happy (or maybe not, your choice) to know that we're getting back to business here at Kimchi Central and I'll be posting weekly. If you are my mom, you already know this crap anyway so kill time doing something else, okay? Anyway, it's been quite an.....interesting.....6 months since we last left each other and I'll be recapping it for you this week. If you need further convincing since I'm the world's worst blogger and your expectations are probably pretty low, I have two words for you: suicidal fish.

HELLLOOOOO???

2012-01-25T18:57:00.000-08:00

Long time no blog, eh?! I know, but I never said I was reliable. If you are interested, I've started a new blog but it's not about my crazy kids, it's about clothes and junk. If you haven't run away screaming, it's www.amyplayingdressup.blogspot.com.

Adios Amigos!

Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

2011-07-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

So, clearly I'm a terribly unreliable blogger and I don't expect anyone to read this as I'm sure the three of you who cared have moved on to other things in your life. However, part of the reason I don't post is because my life if pretty boring and there are already a gazillion mom blogs out there which leaves me with not much else to write about. I'm not sure how exciting it would be to read about what I do when I'm not momming, which is usually gesso-ing canvases or reading InStyle. Those are not very interesting.

However, we had some excitement here the other day so I thought I'd share. On Monday night, I fell down my basement steps and broke my tailbone. Or my ass bone as I prefer to call it. I was talking to my sister on the phone and was heading downstairs to paint. I had the phone on one hand and a brush in the other and apparently my brain was switched to off. As I took the FIRST STEP, my heel slid off the edge and down I went. And went. And went. And went. AND WENT until I crashed into the gate we put at the bottom to keep Mia from escaping. It was very Monty Python and hilarious despite my injury. This is what my sister heard:

me: blah, blah, blah....OHGODOHGODOHGODHJLFHJKLHBJHLSGVFUF...thud, thud, thud, thud...static...........CRASH!

small pause

Jeff: Um yeah, we're gonna have to call you back. Amy just fell down the stairs.

As soon as I landed, I knew it was not good. I had a stabbing pain in my rear and couldn't do more than roll around the floor moaning. The kids thought this was all really entertaining and gave me a big round of applause. I'm sure they also thought my tears were from the joy they were bringing me but I digress. Jeff helped me back upstairs and onto the bed where I had to lie as still as I could for about an hour because moving or getting up made me super nauseous and felt like someone was actively trying to stab me to death via my tush. We were going to head to the ER, but after self-diagnosing on Webmd.com (editor's note- do not do this) I learned that they don't do anything for this anyway so I decided to save the co-pay. I iced it up and took 3 ibuprofen. It's been 4 days now and it still hurts so badly I cannot drive. This is SURPRISINGLY PAINFUL. I finally broke down and called the doctor today and as the internet confirmed, there isn't anything they will do but tell you it's very painful (spoiler alert) and that it can last A LONG WHILE. Fabulous. She heard Mia blabbering on in the background and said "oh I hear a little one there! Ooh, this injury is hard with a baby." When I told her I had not one but TWO toddlers, she paused and then said she would say a little prayer for me.

That was not very reassuring but as I have learned, she was correct in her secondhand fear. My children have taken on the characteristics of two sharks who have just smelled the blood of an injured seal in the water. Guess who the seal is. They have both decided this is a PERFECT time to practice their climbing, jumping and tantrum skills. They know I can't move quickly or grab them since I can only bend about 20 degrees and they're taking full advantage. When Mia doesn't want to go where I need her to go, she now throws herself down like the cops just got here and laughs and laughs and laughs. That way I can't reach her. Crafty little thing. They're also climbing up and jumping on the furniture and I can't really stop them. TRAITORS. Max keeps asking me if my butt hurts and when I tell him yes, he then will demand several things at once, none of which I can do easily. Yesterday he wanted the sprinkler so after spending 15 minutes trying to get it set up without bending down or hurting myself further (impossible), he played for a whopping 8 minutes before he demanded to go indoors. CUT ME SOME SLACK, BRO.

Anyway, that's the excitement. A broken ass. That's what constitutes as excitement around here. That's sad.

IS THIS THING ON?

2011-04-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

HELLO BLOG WORLD! I have no time to pee let alone post on here, but I thought I'd throw some new pictures at'cha, including some from Korea that I meant to post but didn't. Mia's doing well overall, getting bigger and taking a few steps on her own. Max has turned into a total Three Year Old child and has developed the mouthy attitude of a 15 year old which is as magical as you imagine it to be.

Mia can't believe Elton John is in her house.
America, WHAT A PLACE!

YO, Whaddup.

This face is how Max feels about having a sister.

This one with the hat again.

This picture is PURE JOY.

On to Korea......these were supposed to be up by now so it's old news but whatevs.

This is a man-made stream that was built in the middle of the city.
It's amazing and you can walk for miles looking up at the buildings.
I wish we could have seen it in spring.

That's MRS. EMPEROR to you.

Just to tell you how cold it was, that lake was frozen totally solid.

This is one of the very few, like single digit few,
pictures of Mia with us in Korea. Rough time.

Comment Hub

2011-02-11T14:04:00.001-08:00

Hello from Seoul!!! I'm not trying to beat a dead horse but wanted to remind you again to visit www.howtomakekimchi.tumblr.com for travel updates. There doesn't seem to be a way to comment on there so if you HAVE to say something, leave it here!

Adoption Update - The Final Countdown Edition

2011-02-07T06:15:00.000-08:00

So, we leave this week for Seoul and beginning Thursday, you can follow our adventure at my new tumblr. WHAT THE HELL IS A TUMBLR, you ask, and why is there no "e" in Tumblr? Well, it's like a cross between Twitter and this blog. I think. I don't know anything about Twitter so I'm taking someone's word for that. Let's just say that it's just like this blog only shorter posts and more pics. The situation with the missing "e?" Well, I don't know why there is no "e." Moving on.

Go here:

www.howtomakekimchi.tumblr.com

I'm still learning the site myself and I'm not sure how the comments and stuff work so you'll have to bear with me. We're going to try to document as much of our trip as we can so I hope you all enjoy it.

Adoption Update - The Final Countdown Edition

2011-01-31T09:44:00.000-08:00

WE GOT THE CALL!!!!!!! WE GOT THE CALL!!!!! WE GOT THE CALL!!!!!!!

So, they called this morning, just before 11am to tell us she's ready to come home. Yah-HOOOO!! We have to wait a few extra days because of the Lunar New Year celebrations so we won't be leaving until next week but still WOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Once I collect myself I will give you all the details but for now, THIS IS SO AWESOME!!!!!

Adoption Update - The Final Countdown Edition

2011-01-27T10:29:00.000-08:00

So, I called the visa center this morning and...... they see her picture!!!!!! This means she has had her passport issued (I'm 99% sure, at least) and when we got Max, they called us THE DAY AFTER his picture came into the system.

HOLY. CRAP.

Now, the timelines are kind of screwy right now with the backlog and everything but suffice it to say, we could get our travel call AT ANY TIME.

AT ANY TIME, PEOPLE.

I'll update any news I get so stay tuned!!

Adoption Update - The Final Countdown Edition

2011-01-24T06:23:00.001-08:00

So, since our news on Friday, it's been a little crazy and exciting around here. As you all know, we weren't really expecting to get any more movement on our file for another week or two and then another few weeks of waiting after that, so to have not only movement, but an approval for our permit is AMAAAAAZING. It's both scary and nice to have a couple of weeks worth of waiting behind us. Here is an update on where we stand (and Connie, if you read this and I'm wrong, please correct):

- our EP (emigration permit) has been approved which means she's been given the green light to leave the country

-she has a visa physical scheduled for this Wednesday (1/26) and that will ensure she is healthy enough for travel. There is always a slight chance of delay at this point but she just had a physical a week or so ago and is totally healthy so I doubt it

-there is a packet of info called a P3 that has to be returned to the National Visa Center here in the US. This contains ALL her paperwork and is the last step before............

-TRAVEL CALL!!!!!! This can come pretty much anytime after her visa physical. Seriously. Some people get their call two days after, some a week, some a couple of weeks so there is no way to know at this point. I told Jeff that beginning Thursday, we need to be prepared for that call at any time. I'm guessing it'll take about a week, but the EP's usually take a few weeks to go through the approval process and we had ours approved in 13 days (the group after us was done in 9) so I think things are going along wiki-wiki (that's Hawaiian for fast, ya dig?). They have a backlog of kids that need to get home so I wouldn't be that surprised if we get the call next week. OMG!!!

Obviously I'll keep posting as we get new info and as an added bonus, I've started a Tumblr (don't worry Jan, I will explain what this is), which is like a cross between a blog and facebook, so that when we're in Seoul, you can read updates and see pics as they happen. I'll provide the link to the Tumblr soon. Unfortunately I can't update this blog on my phone and don't know how often we'll be able to get to the laptop so I can do the Tumblr on the go. I'm also going to revisit my Korean language lessons and start making lists. LOTS OF LISTS. What to bring, what to say, what to buy, what to do, etc. We were in such a newbie fog last time that we didn't really get to enjoy the fact that we were going to such a kick ass city so this time we're going to spend a couple of days shopping and sightseeing before all hell breaks loose!

IT'S ON.

HOLY CRAP

2011-01-21T09:10:00.000-08:00

WE HAVE EP, PEOPLE!!!!!

They apparently left our name off the notification list in error.

OH MY GOD, WE'RE GOING TO KOREA VERY SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Picard and I have lost patience

2011-01-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

I am so frustrated with this situation right now. We did not get our permit submitted as we had hoped and as I had patiently waited for since OCTOBER when they ran out. At this point, I don't know when we will, maybe weeks maybe a month. Either way it's way longer than we had thought and I'm just so done with the process and the agency and everything in between. I've tried to stay optimistic that we'll somehow magically get some good news but at this point I'm just defeated. Ugh.

2011-01-06T12:43:00.001-08:00

The wait continues......

2011-01-05T09:18:00.000-08:00

So, it's now January 5, 2011 and we've been PATIENTLY waiting nearly 6 MONTHS for Mia's paperwork and I'm going to go clinically insane if I don't hear anything soon. I read that there have been a batch of emigration permits submitted, but we don't know if one of them is for us. I will continue to update as I get info (or cry if I don't get any) so stay tuned (unless you have a life, in which case, carry on.)

Look, we've been waiting so long Picard up there grew a damn beard! LET'S GET ON WITH IT ALREADY.

I guess I have to buy a new calendar.

2010-12-31T06:38:00.000-08:00

So, it's the last day of the year. New year's eve. We're pretty lame so in a shocking twist, we're actually going to be able to go out this year. I hope I can stay awake long enough to make it worthwhile. Last year we made it to about 11:15. I'm aiming for 12:40 this time.

2010 was quite a year for us. At the start, we were living in the city with Max and the dog. Here at the end, in the burbs, driving a minivan with another kid on the way. WTF?! When we look back, we realized we were pretty busy. We bought and sold a house. I made a ton of cakes. I had that heart thing happen. That was weird. Then we get this referral for Mia (yes, that's her new name), which was so fast and unexpected. We got a new dog. Then that dog went away. Max started preschool. We did a bunch of crap to the house. And here we are now.

2011 is going to be full of surprises for us. We hope to have some news about when we're going to bring Mia home next week. I feel like we're cresting the first hill of a roller coaster so I'm just gonna hang on, hope I don't throw up and enjoy the ride.

Have a happy new year!

House pictures

2010-12-29T09:56:00.001-08:00

So, while we've been waiting for the babe to come home, we've been occupying our time with home projects. We got the main part of the house done, minus the bathrooms and our bedroom which will all come along next year. Aside from the kitchen, where we took cabinets out, installed a new countertop and some light fixtures. it's been mostly painting and arranging but it's made a huge difference and it finally feels like our home. Here is a before and after tour:

The foyer before:

and after:

The dining room before:

and after:

The living room before:

and after:

The family room before (2 views) before:

and after:

view 2 before:

and after:

The kitchen before (2 views):

and after:

2nd view before:

and after:

Overall we're really happy with how it looks, it's very "us" and feels modern and retro all at the same time. The bathroom in the kitchen is up next. We're laying bamboo flooring and installing a new vanity and cabinet. Depending on when we get word about going to Korea, we might try to get it done before we travel. I mean, why not, right?

Happy Birthday!!

2010-12-23T06:20:00.001-08:00

생일축하합니다, Eunie!! I hope your day is super special.

New Pictures!

2010-12-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

So, we got a new picture today!!! So adorable, right?

We sent her a birthday/Christmas package that included that cute penguin and that really scary monkey. That was Max's contribution. Sorry Eunie. Come home soon!

Happy Gotcha Day! (4 days late)

2010-12-14T05:56:00.001-08:00

So, I'm a terrible mom and completely forgot to honor our Gotcha Day. That is the day adoptive parents celebrate the day they were united with their child. Most parents go out to celebrate, some have parties and we.......well, we installed light fixtures, completely oblivious to the date. It wasn't until my friend Connie reminded me that I slapped my forehead and had a V8. According to my blog, which I have to use because I have lost the ability to remember anything, we picked him up on December 10, 2008. He was 8 months old and FULL OF ENERGY. Now, on December 14, 2010, he is STILL FULL OF ENERGY but totally our kid who says things like "Oh Em Gee" and "AH-MAAAZING" when he sees something he likes. He knows dinosaur names, and can count and say ABCs and has friends and is pretty much the coolest 2 1/2 year old I know. I am honored to be his mom and thank the woman who had him every day for giving us this kick ass person to call our son.

It really is something to see how far he has come in just 2 years. This was little Beom-Ho Gim in our hotel room the day we got him. He had a bruise on his cheek from falling at his foster mom's house. Apparently he was being rambunctious and fell into a coffee table. YOU DON'T SAY? This should have been a tip off.

This was Max on Sunday, all ready to tackle the snowy hill in the backyard but he was too excited to wait for Jeff to get his snow gear on so he just dropped it in the living room. FIGURES.

Max, we love you more than we thought we could. I want nothing more than to watch you grow into the AH-MAAAZING person I know you will be. Life works in funny ways and I doubt two years ago that we would have known how happy we would all be as a family. Thank you for being you.

Snow

2010-12-13T06:58:00.000-08:00

So, we got our first snowfall of the season yesterday. Max was pretty excited and stood in front of the slider yelling "HOLY MACARONI" for most of the morning. Then we bundled him up and he and Jeff went sledding in the backyard. He had a really good time.

Who needs a sled when you can just use your bike? This is not dangerous at all.

This is for you.

Eunie's Room

2010-12-07T06:05:00.000-08:00

So, we've been knee deep, no scratch that, NECK DEEP, in home projects lately. I will be posting pics probably sometime in the next week or so because right now it still looks like a construction zone. I did, however, want to post pictures of Eunie's room, which I finally put together last week. We're sending her a care package for her birthday/Christmas and I wanted to send a pic along so they could see her cool new room. Like a baby gives a crap about this stuff. Whatever, let me have my moment. I should have taken a before picture but I forgot (OF COURSE) so imagine a white box that now looks like this:

Yes, it's totally girly, but my mother will confirm that I had a pink bedroom when I was a wee lass so it's not surprising. It's a pretty color, kind of a pinkish/lavender, depending on the light. It's funny to walk by now and see a furnished room and imagine that there will be an ACTUAL BABY in it in a couple of months. It kind of still hasn't sunk in yet. Anyway, I hope she likes it and doesn't look at the picture and scream.

This is for Mary.

2010-11-30T13:20:00.000-08:00

Homework

2010-11-15T12:09:00.000-08:00

Oh hello! I forgot this thing doesn't write itself. It's been a bit busy around here which is why I've been absent. I decided that since we got screwed on the whole "go get the kid" thing, I would use my pent up frustration in a more productive way. Thus, our home project extravaganza is on. OH IT'S ON. I'm not going to post pics just yet (BOO) because it's all in shambles but I will show a little before and after teaser of our kitchen, mid-construction. We are still replacing the countertops, sink/faucet combo and we're installing a stainless steel backsplash but this is how far we got this past weekend.

Before

This is what we did over the weekend.

I've also painted the dining and living rooms, plus both kid's bedrooms but those are ALSO still in shambles so you'll see pics soon. We're doing some entertaining for the holidays so we have a deadline of Dec 17. Our next undertaking will be the bathrooms, but those wait until next year.

Aside from that, the only other interesting thing I have to report is that Max got his very first school photo taken! It's just his little preschool thing but still, it's totally cute. Obviously I'm a tiny bit biased but I'm pretty sure it was the cutest one in the entire school.

This blows.

2010-11-04T05:58:00.000-07:00

So, we got our official word that Eunie will not be home until next year. They issued their final permits yesterday and we were not among the lucky ones. We were told they will resume in January and considering people that got their referrals as close as 15 days before us got their EP yesterday, I'm hopeful we're in the first group. Either way, she won't be home until probably early February.

Yes, this sucks and I would love to spout off a string of profanities that would make a hardened criminal blush but I will spare you. So now you know. Yes, we will miss her birthday but we're going to send her presents and I'm sure looking at pictures of your kid's first birthday is just as good as being there, right?

New Pictures!

2010-11-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

So, we didn't get any news about EP (wah wah) but we did get new pictures of Eunie today!! She's getting big and is still rocking a mohawk but she's so cute I don't care. I just wanna squeeze the hell out of those cheeks!

It's hard to tell but she's a wee tiny thing, only 16lbs, so that bunny probably isn't as terrifyingly life sized as it looks. Good lord, that's the most depressing bunny I've ever seen. Run Eunie, run away from the bunny!

Adoption Update

2010-10-29T06:47:00.000-07:00

So, I know I haven't posted anything other than adoption updates lately and I might try to pump something more interesting out later but for now, take what you get. As of Monday, our P3 packet has been sent to Korea. What the hell is a P3 packet, you ask? Well, I'm not exactly sure but I think it's a packet of all Eunie's info and documents up to this point. Let's just go with that. Anyway, her stuff has been sent to Korea and had the permit gods bestowed an emigration permit upon us already, we would be traveling to get her in about 4 weeks. HOWEVER......

....we're still waiting on that permit. We are literally stuck in limbo right now, or as I call it, adoption purgatory. We can't move forward until this permit is issued but we have no idea when it will happen nor if we'll get one before they run out. It'll either be in the next couple of weeks or we have to wait until January. So in the meantime, I'm going to take up the tinwhistle like Picard up there and wait. The bright spot is that in a fit of energy last night, I dug up my old notes from Max's process and saw that his P3 was sent 10 days before they issues his permit so there is still hope. Play me out, Picard......

Adoption Update

2010-10-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

So, Captain Picard and I are pleased to say that the National Visa Center has officially received our I600 and it should be on it's way to Korea either late today or Monday. THIS IS WONDERFUL, isn't it Captain? I still haven't gotten any word on the EP situation but I'm going to ignore that glaring fact and focus on this. Once it leaves the NVC (or 'NVC out" in adoption lingo,) we only have three more steps to go until travel call day. I am REALLY REALLY REALLY hoping we get word on our EP soon because if we do, we actually might get this kid home before her birthday. Stranger things have happened, right?

Adoption Update

2010-10-12T07:17:00.000-07:00

So, we FINALLY got some good news this morning. Our I600 was approved!!! This was our last US approval and while we're still in the tangle of emigration permits, this is a big step. The officer at USCIS was so nice and asked me to send her a picture of Eunie to add to her "baby wall." I gladly obliged. Now we have to wait for the National Visa Center to do their thing, which means I get to start obsessively calling them today and then we're another step closer. I'm trying to be optimistic that our bad news from last week was overly cautious and that something kick ass will happen to make her come home sooner. WOO HOO!!

** I've decided to fly my nerd flag with Captain Picard up there. Don't judge.

Adoption Update

2010-10-08T04:58:00.000-07:00

So, I had hoped to have some really awesome post this week about our paperwork being pushed through quickly but sadly we got the opposite news. In a nutshell, the Korean government only issues so many Emmigration Permits per year and it looks like their quota may already be filled FOR THE YEAR. Yes, I said for the year, as in we would have to wait until January for it to be issued and then wait even longer for the rest of the stuff to catch up which, as my email yesterday estimated, would mean we wouldn't travel until February. Mother. F*$&@r.

I'm so mad and I spent most of last night crying because I can't do anything else. It's not like we're the only ones, but how they've issued all they're issuing when it's not even winter yet is ridiculous and I REALLY hope that they are wrong but I'm done trying to figure this shit out. I know you might be sitting there saying "it's not THAT much longer and it's not like it'll make that big of a difference" but you know what, it DOES make a big difference. I'm not waiting on FedEx to bring me something. This is my kid who is getting more and more attached to her foster mom every day. I will not only be missing out on the first 14 months of her life, I'll be missing her first birthday, her first steps, etc. and just typing that started the waterworks again. If they're wrong, which based on what I've experienced they don't tend to throw this info around lightly so that's a long shot, she said we could travel in December/January, which is still longer than it should be taking but better than February I guess.

Either way this sucks.

Adoption Update

2010-10-06T05:48:00.000-07:00

So, since things are starting to get kind of exciting, I've decided to post as many adoption updates as I can. As I mentioned last week, we had our fingerprint appointment on Monday. Because I have a disorder called nopatienceitis, I started calling USCIS yesterday to check the status which I'm sure they are thrilled about. Last time we adopted, I probably called USCIS about 378,440 times only to be told by a robot voice every single time to leave a message. I'm still waiting for a call back. This time, however, I left a message for the agent who has our file and she actually called me back and said that our I-600 should be approved by the end of the week. She said it takes 2-4 days for her to get the prints and that's all that she's waiting on. I imagine since I called, my file might get moved to the top so I'm hoping to get a call or letter at any time.

So, now what are we waiting for, you ask? Well, once they approve the I-600, it goes to the National Visa Center and then they send it on to Korea (or something like that.) However, we are also waiting on Korea to issue her Emigration Permit and those are done in monthly batches and they're doing a batch today. If she's in it, I will explode from excitement because that means we will probably be traveling fairly soon but if she has to wait until next month, we'll have a longer delay and probably not travel until late November, early December. I'm planning on the latter and hoping for the former.

And now you know.

That tiny violin is playing me a sad song.

2010-10-01T13:25:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't really given an update on Eunie because we haven't gotten one in a while which is really frustrating but whatever. The last we heard, she was still teeny tiny but they were trying to fatten her up so I hope the next report (ANY DAY, PEOPLE) will hold good news. On the paperwork front, we have our last fingerprint appointments on Monday, which will facilitate the last bit of paperwork approval that we're waiting for on the US side. It's funny to me because this will be my FOURTH set of prints. Um, THEY DON'T CHANGE and why they can't use what's in the database already is perplexing but this whole process is perplexing so why am I surprised. Anyway, I recently read that our fingerprints could take a stupidly long time to process, like another 9-11 weeks, which sent me to the ledge but I have since read that it generally isn't taking that long and the fact that my forms have been sitting there for 7 weeks already, it's probably already approved and waiting on the prints. This makes me happy and I'm choosing to believe this person over the other. DON'T BURST MY BUBBLE.

So, if we get a speedy approval, our stuff will be sent to Korea next week where we wait for them to work their magic. Things seem to be either running really slowly or really quickly on that side and while it was slow for a bit, it seems to have picked up as of recent which means we could possibly get a travel call around the first (or so) week of November. Now, that's if things go smoothly and that's a big IF. That's all great, right? WELL, I also found out that the G20 Economic Summit is being held in Seoul in early November. OF COURSE IT IS. This sucks a big one and I hope our dates fall around it and not in it because there will be no hotel rooms and no flights and if there are, I will have to use her college fund to pay for them. Sorry, kid.

So that's where we are. I really hope I can tell you nice people that we got our approval next week so cross your fingers and toes.

It's all gone to the dogs.

2010-09-30T07:37:00.000-07:00

So, we adopted this dog Zoe, right? She's been here for almost 2 weeks and for the most part, she is a really awesome dog. She is so sweet and gentle and lets Max do things like run his train on her and she'll sit still while he makes her wear hats which I would stop if it weren't so funny. She's the kind of dog that everyone likes, even our other dog Zoey, and Zoey doesn't like ANYONE including us most of the time. She is very attached to me and follows me around the house like a shadow and I can safely assume that if anyone tried to hurt us, she would take them down the best she could. That is a lot considering other Zoey would pretty much lead a robber to all the good shit should the situation arise. Traitor. Anyway, when we met with her foster family, they told us she was mostly potty trained and they would leave her in her crate when they had to leave home. No problem. They said her biggest issue was jumping on the table (wtf?!) and possibly digging in her food/water bowls and making a mess. Also not a problem. We could work with those. Welcome to the family!

However.

The part about the crate, yeah, not so much. We bought her a big plastic crate like they advised and the first few times we left her, which wasn't for long, she did pretty well. I expected some anxiety and she was certainly glad to see us and get out when we got home, but nothing terrible. As the days have gone on, things have taken a turn. The plastic crate is now in the basement because over the weekend she ate it. Yes, that's what I said. Not only did she eat it, we left her in it in the living room and when we got home, she was about 10 feet away in the hallway, still in the crate. How this happened, I do not know. All I know is that she managed to literally chew through the side of this thing, I'm sure cutting her gums up in the process, to the point that we had to abandon it because she could put her head through the hole she made. The rescue lady told us she hated wire cages but at this point we had no choice. We bought a new wire cage and put her in it to test it out. We left for a bit and when we came home, she was sitting in it quietly chewing a bone and we pretty much thought we were dog geniuses.

We are not.

That was clearly a fluke because ever since, when we try to crate her, she flips out, literally and figuratively. I left her for a bit Monday and when I returned, the cage was on it's side, the plastic pan at the bottom was broken in two pieces and she was standing at the door with other Zoey waiting for me. When she flipped it, the latches slid the wrong way and she had no problem opening the door and walking to freedom. I decided to outsmart her so the next time, I used a zip tie to hold the door closed. FOOLPROOF! This time when I got home, not only was the cage empty but the zip tie was laying on the floor. She didn't chew through it but managed to get it off intact and I still haven't figured out how. Well played, dog.

I had to step up my game so the next time I left, I used THREE zip ties to hold the door closed. THREE. When I pulled into the driveway, imagine my pleasure as I gazed upon BOTH DOGS in the window waiting for me. WHAT THE HELL? I came inside and when I got to the kitchen where I had left her, the cage was still closed and the zip ties were still attached. This dog, who is not small and weighs about 30 lbs, had managed to nudge her big head through a 6 inch opening and squeeze her whole body through. To top off this feat, she decided to give me the dog middle finger by knocking down the trash can and spreading trash all over the kitchen. As I cleaned up coffee grounds, old food* and god knows what else, I realized this dog had beaten me. I contacted the rescue group who informed me that (surprise!) Zoe has severe separation anxiety. Perhaps informing us of this would have been helpful but whatever, it is what it is and we have to deal with it. At this point, I'm about to go buy a padlock for the cage door. The rescue lady contacted me and they implored us to not give up in her so they're sending in the dog whisperer (not the real one but A dog whisperer) to try to help. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? So yeah, that's what happening. A goddamn dog whisperer is coming. Stay tuned....

* So, we had met Jeff for lunch this day and Max had some chicken nuggets left which I put in my purse to take home because I am cheap. When he woke up from his nap, he wanted the rest of them as a snack so I gave him one. A few minutes later he walked past me and I got a big whiff of garlic and last time I checked, McDonald's did not offer garlic McNuggets so I told him to show it to me and realized to my horror that he was not eating a McNugget anymore but a piece of garlic bread from the trash. Zoe must have hidden it somewhere when she knocked the trash over and I didn't see it. Not only was it from the trash and had been chewed on by the dog, but it was covered in coffee grounds, the remnants of the potato leek soup I made over the weekend, apple peels and what I had swept up off the floor the day before. DISGUSTING BEYOND BELIEF. I snatched it away and immediately took him to the bathroom to give his teeth and mouth a silkwood shower but that garlic smell lasted for hours. I shudder just thinking about it.

Ice Capades

2010-09-30T05:49:00.000-07:00

So, we signed Max up for ice skating lessons with his best friend Louie. It is HYSTERICAL and I'm not sure if he likes it or will bring this up in therapy when he's 25 but here's some video anyway.

Dog Day Afternoon

2010-09-22T04:58:00.000-07:00

So last weekend, Grandma was so kind as so come and babysit overnight so Jeff and I could get away for like 37 seconds and decompress. It was a fast trip, we dropped the kid off at school on Friday morning and came home Saturday afternoon, but it was REALLY EXTREMELY NICE to just be away. We went to The Lake of the Ozarks, which for anyone not from these parts is a huge vacation area in the middle of the state. When we were kids, we used to go there at least once a summer, sometimes more, and it had that kind of resort area charm that they now only show in movies. The lake area circa 1985 was full of cheesy souvenier shops, really bizarre "Opry"-style shows, hillside go-kart tracks and water slides, questionably safe roller coasters and several places to buy Walnut wood bowls, Chicago cutlery and fudge. There were also tons of shops to buy things that smelled like potpourri, or just potpourri if you're a purist, and there was never a shortage of anything seafoam green or mauve. This was the 80s, people. Anyway, my childhood memories of this place are quite fond but I haven't been down as much as an adult so when we pulled into town and my first sighting was a giant Target next to a giant Lowes, I knew things had changed dramatically.

Gone was pretty much everything I mentioned above, replaced by Walgreens, the aforementioned Target, Walmart, Crapplebees, Panera, etc. Oh sure, there are still a few cute little shops left and we saw two go-kart tracks still operating, but it was nothing like I had remembered. Back in the day, we would drive the three hours to get there, stop at the ONE grocery store they had to buy everything we needed for the week and the rest of the time was spent doing fun things we didn't do at home and eating at places we didn't have at home. That's the point of vacation. Now, it's pretty much like any strip-mall-filled suburb around here but with a huge lake in the middle of it. Needless to say, it's lost something with progress. The bright spot is that there is an outlet mall down there that stretches for about a half a mile and I got some great deals on clothes for me and Max. That and we ate at a restaurant that has been there as long as I can remember but was always too expensive for us to go to as a family and it did not disappoint. We ate lobster and scallops until we almost burst, drank wine and sat by a huge window to watch the sun set. Ahhhh.....that part was really great. Here's Jeff toasting to you. You can tell it's a fancy place because it's so dimly lit.

After our delicious dinner, we went back to the resort and spent the rest of the night lounging around watching The Golden Girls on cable which made me very, very happy. The fun didn't stop there, either. On the ride back, we stopped to pick up our new dog. She did really well on the ride home and didn't pee or throw up anywhere. She's also SO SWEET and follows me like a magnet. Look at her!

So far her transition has gone well, she's settling right in, but we do have one small issue. Her name is Zoe, which is a name I love and you would know this because our current dog is ALSO NAMED ZOE. At first we were like "HA HA, can you believe we found a dog with the same name?! Whatta gas!" It took about 24 seconds for us to realize that this is not as funny as we thought in application. Yelling at the new dog to stop jumping on Max when the other dog is sleeping on the floor and wakes up with a look on her face like "WTF?! I was sleeping. Why am I being yelled at?" makes for a bit of canine confusion and you might be saying to yourself, "hey dumb blog lady, why don't you just name the new dog something different?" that may not be as easy as it sounds. The problem is that we'll still be saying Zoe all the time so she's going to continue to hear it and I'm not sure if her dog brain will understand that we aren't talking to her. So, if any of you have suggestions, please leave them because this shit is getting old.

What's up with that?

2010-09-08T10:18:00.000-07:00

HELLO INTERNET! Sorry it's been a while but I've been busy. Here's what's happened since we last spoke:

#1 -we bought a minivan. A big honking minivan that makes me want to love it and hate it at the same time. This is what it looks like. It's for sure the fanciest car we've ever owned and since we're extra lazy, the doors and the hatch open on their own. TIME SAVING, PEOPLE. I am very busy and have no extra seconds to pull the door open myself. Anyway, the day after we bought it we drove it to Columbia, which is about 2 hours or so from home. It was a pretty sweet ride and still smells new despite Max's extra leaky pee pee diaper that soaked through him and everything else. Poor kid had to ride home with no pants on. Anyway, we went to Columbia to visit a dog we're adopting, which leads me to #2...

-we're not just adopting another kid, we're adopting a dog, too! Her name is Zoe, which is the same name as our dog now (confusing) so she'll have to learn to love nicknames. She's a 6 year old cockapoo who normally has cute curly hair but they had to shave her down. Here she is!

Awww...she's really cute and sweet and I hope she and current Zoe don't have an epic battle that ends in bloodshed but neither seem to possess the skills nor energy to pull of such an attack so I'm not too worried. I was worried this morning however, when.........

#3 - Max started preschool! Well, it's more pre-pre-school but whatever, he's in a classroom for 3.5 hours, 2 days a week and that is GLORIOUS! I keed, of course I will miss him but mommy needs a minute or 2 that doesn't involve someone yelling "MONSTERTRUCK" at me or something sticky being rubbed on me (is it a booger? I hope not. A chewed up cheerio? Maybe. This is my day.) and he needs more playtime with other kids so this will be good for everyone. He was pretty good overall but today was a short day with parents to get them oriented so the true test is Friday when I leave him.

And now you're caught up. Resume your day.

Cake Alert

2010-09-07T08:32:00.001-07:00

So, this is the last cake alert for a while. A long while probably, so go over and give your eyes a present.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

Cake Alert

2010-08-30T13:21:00.001-07:00

There aren't many of these left for a while so head on over.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

What's In A Name? A lot, apparently.

2010-08-25T06:01:00.000-07:00

So, this new baby's name is Lucinda, right? Well, maybe.

I had a dream the other night. No, it wasn't the one where crocodiles come into my backyard and I have to walk on their heads to escape, nor was it the one where I'm on the edge of a giant rocky cliff and I have to keep preventing my dog from jumping to her death. Nor is it the one where I'm trying to catch a flight but can't get to the airport. I'm sure these all have deep meaning that I should investigate with a psychologist but I don't have that kind of time. No, this one went something like this:

I walked into the adoption center in Seoul, but it wasn't really the adoption center but whatever, it was probably a McDonald's or something. Anyway, I saw a baby sitting there but I couldn't make out what she/he looked like but for some reason I knew she was our kid. I told the lady I was there to pick up a baby and she was like "name" and I said :Eun Seo" and she checked her clipboard. She said they didn't have a baby named Eun Seo so I pointed to the one sitting there and said "she's right there." The lady told me that baby's name was Charlotte, not Eun Seo and then I argued this point with her for what seemed like hours. Finally, I went into my big blue adoption bag and found a manila envelope with her paperwork in it and when I pulled it out, I saw that it had the name "Chuck" on it and all of a sudden I was like "OMG, you're right, her name IS Charlotte!" Then I woke up.

Well, now I don't know what to do, so here's what I'm doing. We're not naming her anything until we meet her and see who she looks like. A name is a big gigantic huge deal to me and I don't want to regret it. I named a dog after an obscure band from the 90s and a few years later made a mental note to not name dogs after obscure 90s bands anymore so I take this shit seriously. So, she's back to Eunie for now. FOR NOW. My brain works in mysterious ways and we have a lot of time before we meet her so I can't guarantee anything.

Cake Alert

2010-08-23T06:12:00.000-07:00

Do you like muppets?

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

Well Baby Check

2010-08-17T06:34:00.000-07:00

So, we got a baby update yesterday! Sadly no picture but just imagine a really cute Korean baby when you read this. She's doing GREAT and can hold her head up and looks like she wants to crawl. Crawling doesn't seem to be a big priority in Korea because the moms tend to carry them everywhere so I'll be surprised if she starts. Please don't start with the whole "she won't learn math of she doesn't crawl" bull crap (yes, people really think this) because Max never crawled and he's balancing my checkbook as we speak. Anyway, she's about 14lbs, which is kind of small but they said she's not too keen on eating cereal and isn't gaining much weight on milk alone. They're also working with her on bearing weight on her legs, which is about the only delay they've found but considering she's in a carrier on her foster mom's back all day long, not bearing weight on her legs isn't really that much of a shocker.

She's also cute and cuddly, loves to get kisses and hugs from her foster family, is VERY attached to her foster mom and will cry when she is out of sight. While that may make you cringe, we look at that as a very positive thing because it means she knows how to form attachments with people and we know she'll eventually form one with us. However, that also means that our departure from the adoption center in Korea will be met with blood curdling screams as it was with Max. That part I'm not so excited about. Overall she's doing really well and hopefully she'll be home sooner than later.

Oh yeah, we're naming her Lucinda, or Lulu as she's known around here now. Or if you're Max, you can yell "WOO WOO" when you see her picture on the computer.

Cake Alert

2010-08-15T06:50:00.000-07:00

I have two words for you: Kittens and booze.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

HOLLAAAAA

2010-08-10T12:15:00.000-07:00

So, I have some adoption updates. We sent our gigantic packet of paperwork off on Saturday and it's now getting ready to travel to Seoul so they can start to file all of Eunie's Korean paperwork. Our "legals" are being FedExed to us and we should have them tomorrow. Legals are legal paper or something. Something "legal." Honestly, I'm not sure what they are. There are a lot of papers in an adoption. Anyway, those things mean that we can probably say our countdown to travel is about 4 months or so. That is based in nothing scientific. I looked at some time frames on the internet and guessed but I'm pretty confident in that guess. That means that there's a good chance she'll be home before her first birthday. It also means that Jeff and I will have made this trip twice now at nearly the exact same time. We traveled in mid-December last time and my calendar tells me the same for this one. SO WEIRD! Thankfully we'll get to experience the joys of the holiday season in Korea. It's both bizarre, like the creepy animatronic not-quite-Santa in the market, or gorgeous like the perfectly decorated rice cakes I was drooling over the whole time.
Anyway, this also means I have to get my ass in gear and get my house in some kind of shape before she comes or else it'll never happen. I started taping the foyer for stripes and should have that finished by Sunday. I'll post pics. I'm going to be a painting machine for the next couple months. I'm also shutting down the cakes for a while. It was getting too big. Maybe someday. Anyway, I don't have time because I'm too busy buying crap like this:

What the hell? I couldn't resist the little frog feet. I can't handle all these cute little girl clothes! We also picked up some gear. This is a sit and stand stroller. This this is bigger than my car and I'm not exactly sure how you even work it. Max is obsessed with it as you can see. Eunie will ride in the front. I think I need a class C license now.

Cake Alert

2010-07-31T10:45:00.000-07:00

If you like balls, go to www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

And get your mind outta the gutter.

THIS IS EXCITING NEWS!

2010-07-28T05:16:00.001-07:00

So, this isn't another cake alert post so YOU'RE WELCOME. This post is way better.

Last week, we received a VERY VERY VERY unexpected message from our adoption agency. A mere 4 days after receiving notification that our paperwork was done and headed to Korea, we got a referral!!!!!!
This does not happen this way. Seriously. This wasn't supposed to happen for like a year. In fact, I had to read the email about 40 times to make sure I was reading it correctly. When I called Jeff he asked me over and over if I was kidding and we were both totally 100% floored that this happened. She's, yes I said SHE, 7 months old and her name is Eun-Seo Bak. For now, anyway. We've taken to calling her "Eunie" (pronounced Yoo-nie) at home because "the baby" sounded kind of lame and it'll be a while until we can decide on a name. As you can see, she's pretty cute and I'm sure that hair will grow right in!

We're still processing all this and quite frankly my brain will probably explode once it sinks in but we SO excited and Max has learned to say "sister" (well, it sounds like "ditter" but that's okay, I know what the hell he's saying) and I'm sure he will not mind having to share ALL the attention he gets. Yeah, right! We probably have about 4-6 months of paperwork and waiting ahead of us but we're really hoping to get her home before Christmas because she'll be 1 on December 23rd. We seem to only go to Korea at Christmas but I'm not complaining!

We're SUPER STOKED about this and I'll be chronicling our journey again so check back.

Cake Alert

2010-07-26T05:29:00.000-07:00

So, there's been a lot of stuff going on here that I'll be writing about soon (hopefully) so bear with me. In the meantime, here's another exciting cake to look at. This one was really special because it was a) for our best buds Louie and Wylie and b) it's a Korean theme. I also tried out a new technique that I've wanted to do for a while so I thank them for letting me go to town on their cake.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

I entered a contest.

2010-07-18T16:37:00.000-07:00

So, if any of you recall, last year I entered an online cake contest. It's run by www.threadless.com and the deal is you take a shirt design and translate it into cake. Last time it was the sumo wrestlers. This year I decided to ask a few friends to look at the site and pick what they think I should do and if I picked theirs, they'd get the cake. This helps me because I tend to gravitate toward a certain type of design and I like to broaden my horizons. I'm entering a total of three cakes but these are the first two. I'm sending in the entries early this week so I'll post the link when I do and you can go check out all the pictures. If you're bored.

The first cake was picked by my friend Jane* and it was called Self-Portrait. It appears to be some kind of alien. I love it. Here's the design from the site:

And here it is in cake:

The second one was picked by my friend Connie and it's called Day vs. Night. This too, I love.

You really have to look at it upside down as well to get the full effect so here you go.

I'm still searching for design #3 so if you care, feel free to make a suggestion. Any design from their website is eligible. I won't guarantee I'll make it but if I do, you might get it. MIGHT.

* Fictitious name used to protect identity

**UPDATE!!**
Here's the link for Day vs. Night:
http://www.threadcakes.com/entries/view/755

Terrible just doesn't quite describe it.

2010-07-14T06:20:00.000-07:00

So, I've been a bit busy here recently with cakes and other various things so I haven't been able to blog. Most of those various things keeping me from blogging rhyme with the word "AXE" and are small and Asian. You know, when people talk about the "terrible twos," they do it with a wink and a giggle, like it's some funny thing parents go through for a minute or two and then everyone has a laugh. Well I'm here to tell you that is a load of shit. The "terrible twos" should be called "the most trying time in your life until now because this child will only listen to 2% of what you say and do the exact opposite of what you want them to and you will want to jump off a bridge sometimes in frustration but rest assured there is a mess somewhere in your home that needs cleaning so you have to stick it out." That's more accurate. This child is SOMETHING. We've had every kind of tantrum known to man and he's now started to hit when he's either in trouble or mad or both. Yesterday he was mad I had the audacity to look at something for MYSELF in the store an in retaliation, grabbed a handful of lipsticks and whipped them across the store. YES, THAT IS MY CHILD. We spend about 10% of the day in a loving embrace and the other 90% in a battle of wills. The force is strong in this one. Here is a typical exchange:

max: touches the computer for the 145,389,690th time today
me: "Max, don't touch the computer."
max: touching the computer again while looking straight at me
me: "MAX, please don't touch the computer."
max: walks away, turns around and starts touching the OTHER computer while still staring at me, taunting with his defiance
me: "MAX, STOP TOUCHING ALL THE COMPUTERS RIGHT NOW."
max: "no"
me: picks up hair that she just pulled out

So, this is life in my home right now.

On a related note, and feel free to send me to the loony bin at this point, we have made major progress in our adoption (ANOTHER ONE?!!) and after my last home study meeting today, we just have to wait for the paperwork to get to Korea and then we start the big wait for referral. When we did Max's, they sent the stuff to Korea in April, told us to expect a call toward the end of the year, but called 3 months later with this little bundle of joy so I'm not sure what time frame we'll be on. Could be a year, could be this fall, who knows. When you see your local wine aisles empty of all their bottles, you'll know we got the call.

**I posted that picture up top to show how cute he can be. It's more for me than you.

Cake Alert

2010-07-10T08:24:00.001-07:00

Yeah yeah, I know I only post cake alerts these days. That's because I've been busy making cakes and can't type with sticky fingers. Anyway, if you feel like monkeying around, go check it out.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

Cake Alert

2010-07-09T06:21:00.001-07:00

So, we've had some major computer malfunctions here at Kimchi HQ. As in one dead hard drive nd one very mad blogger. Between phone calls with Dell, I made a cake. If you like a good woody, and who doesn't, check it out.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

Cake Alert

2010-06-27T15:25:00.000-07:00

So, I did a cake for my little buddy Reis AND I got out my piping bag and produced a non-fondant cake. Well, I had a couple fondant accents but 90% was buttercream. It's quite cathartic to pipe and I get in a piping groove and then I want to pipe everything in sight.

That's a lot of piping.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

Cake Alert

2010-06-26T11:56:00.000-07:00

Two words: coral reef. It's probably my favorite cake off all time.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

The week that was.

2010-06-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

So um, last week I had surgery, which is why I wasn't posting anything. I'm not getting into much detail except to say that the ticker is fixed now and peeing in a bedpan is WAY harder than it sounds. Seriously. It was like the pee went back inside to wait for a proper toilet. Well that and having a nurse pull a giant tube from your artery while you're lying there TOTALLY AWAKE is not fun. Anyway, I'm all recovered now and everything is back to normal and blah blah blah. Just wanted to update the 3 of you that might be concerned.
Aaaaaanyway, aside from recovering, we spent Father's day putting up a pergola for the back patio. We were sitting outside on Thursday and it was so bloody hot and our patio is totally sun exposed all day and I was complaining that it was hot and sucking and wouldn't it be nice if we had a pergola and then WHAM, we go to Target and they have them. We could have gone and bought the lumber and designed it and built it but considering our vast lack of free time, building a large wooden outdoor structure was probably not going to happen so instead we spent 5 hours assembling one that some nice factory made for us. We got the whole thing up minus the retractable canopy which hopefully will go on tonight so I can sit under it tomorrow like a lady of leisure. Well, I can sit for 2 minutes until Max eats dirt or tries to catch a bunny or flings himself down the hill or whatever else his little brain deems a good idea. Here's how it looks in our new resort-like backyard.

I'm kidding of course. If you paid for a resort vacation and ended up in my backyard, you should be really pissed because it's mostly weeds, rocks, mud and matchbox cars. It's not a fun place. BUT LOOK AT THAT GORGEOUS PERGOLA, AMIRITE?!

Anyway, while Max took what some might call a nap, I call it "47 minutes of near silence," I decided to paint the fireplace. I should have taken before pics but that require planning and forethought, neither of which cross my mind. It was normal brick color before, albeit dirty and old and in need of tuckpointing, but the white makes it look nice and new. It's also motivated me to get my ass in gear and paint the rest of this place. I have a billion paint chips taped to the walls and inevitably the one color I want isn't available at Home Depot or Lowe's so I have to go to an actual paint store and I equate that with $$$ so that sucks because I am CHEAP. However, I'm not painting this damn thing again so I'm springing for the color I want. I had planned on starting in the kitchen but that's just too overwhelming to think of right now so I'm starting in our bedroom (bawm chick a wah wah) because there isn't too much wall space, although I've designed this grid thing and that's going to take planning and time and I can't even decide on the wall color so maybe I'll start in the living room instead.

Or maybe I'll just go sit under the pergola. Yeah, that sounds much better.

Cake Alert

2010-06-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

It was a two cake weekend. Check it out:

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

Stay

2010-06-11T12:49:00.000-07:00

So, a few weeks ago commenter Allie, of www.thegreenists.com and allielarkinwrites.com, asked me to be a part of the promotional blog tour for her brand new book Stay. I was super honored and very curious. When I was a wee lass, I was quite the reader. I was also kind of weird and hung out alone in my head a lot and those things probably relate but let's move on. Sometime between high school and motherhood, I sorta fell away from the book world and landed in the soft, cushy land of magazines. They speak to me in bullet points and short paragraphs which is about the level of attention span I have these days. Anyway, the last book I read was about 2 years ago and it was She's Come Undone and I bought it at the airport on Kauai and it had "super fun read" and "I laughed and cried" and shit on the cover along with a gigantic gold "O" telling me the mighty Oprah deemed it worthy but in reality it was NOT a fun read that made me laugh. It was actually kind of disturbing and depressing and I didn't really plan on crying in my beach cabana on vacation so that book screwed me and I haven't tried again. Anyway, not to spoil my review, which I have to apologize to Allie for RIGHT NOW because I've never written a review before so I hope I don't screw it up, but this book did NOT make me want to put rocks in my pockets and walk into the sea, although I did shed a tear or two.

That being said, here is my review.
Stay
By Allie Larkin

Stay centers around Savannah, or Van, a single woman who has just watched the love of her life marry her best friend. While they honeymoon in Europe, Van spends her time trying to forget him, her and them and move on with her life but she feels isolated and tossed aside. One drunken night, she decides a gigantic Slovakian dog will help her loneliness but the dog only creates more chaos. She takes him to the vet which sparks a friendship that opens Van up to new possibilities and a new sense of family. When they return from Europe, Van must face her past in order to embrace her future and she finds allies in the most unlikely places.

Just read this book. It's fun, funny, and the perfect thing to make your heart happy. I WOULD KNOW. At first, I mentally put it in the "chick lit" category, which is not bad but I don't tend to think as much about the characters and stuff but after a bit, I really saw that this was so much more than some pink book on shopping (I'm not judging, I own some) because it brought out issues like loss, grief, classism, betrayal and trust in a really sweet and realistic way. I found myself crying more than once because the situations mirrored some in my own life and those of my friends and I really enjoyed the fact that the author didn't shield them from complication. I found myself rooting for Van to do things I would have normally been against and I appreciated the turns the story took. If you don't believe me, I'm including an excerpt so read for yourself:

Diane let out a disgusted sigh and shook her head. “You look like a pumpkin, dear,” she said, flatly. Then she kissed me on the cheek. “I’ll see you back at the carriage house. We’ll have fun.” She gave me a broad smile and a nod like it was decided, and ran off to hug Janie.
I missed the way Diane’s eyes used to crinkle at the sides when she smiled. My mom nursed her through her face-lift and a few months later Diane nursed my mom through all the chemo.
I stood there, watching Diane brush a curl of hair off of Janie’s cheek. I wished for a way to clean out my head so I could just be happy for Janie instead of thinking about Peter, or about how even if I did get over Peter and found someone else to fall in love with, my mother would never be there to fix my hair at my wedding.
I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. “Van?” Peter said. “I need a favor.” I turned around and looked at him. His tie was loose and the top button of his shirt was undone. His cheeks and his nose were flushed bright red, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have all that breathless excitement be about me instead of Janie. “Sure,” I said, trying not to make eye contact. I was certain that looking into Peter’s blue-gray eyes would break my heart.
“I know you’re enjoying the wedding, but . . .” He stopped and looked at Norman, who was slumped over the bar getting yelled at by the woman bartending. “Norman was supposed to go over and set up the room. But he’s not—” He tilted his head in Norm’s direction and raised his eyebrows. “Can you?” “No problem,” I said, hoping the relief at having an excuse to leave wasn’t oozing down my face.

“You’re the best, Van.” He grinned from ear to ear and slapped my back like we were locker room buddies. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He handed me a set of keys attached to a silver Playboy bunny with a diamond eye. “Norman’s car,” he said, rolling his eyes. “The box is on the front seat. It should be self-explanatory.” He hugged me and rested his chin on my bare shoulder for a second. “You’re okay to drive, right?” His breath was hot. He pulled away to give me a good look, like he was making sure. “Okay,” I said, staring at his shiny new platinum wedding band. “Thanks, Van. I owe you one.” He gave me a quick peck on the cheek before running off. I felt the pressure of his lips on my face even after he’d disappeared into the crowd.
Janie and her dad had just started dancing to “Thank Heaven for Little Girls.” Creepy. I took it as my cue to go. I ducked into the coatroom to grab the brown faux fur wrap Janie gave me as a bridesmaid’s gift, and made my escape to the parking lot.

I walked around the lot, clicking the door opener until the lights on a silver BMW lit up. The license plate read ladezman. When I put the key in the ignition, Michael Bolton blared from the speakers. I took out the CD and threw it on the backseat. Flipping through the CDs in the console, I found Boston. I slid it into the CD player and backed out of the parking space to the opening chords of “More Than a Feeling.” My mom and I were closet Boston fans. We kept all of our Boston records under her sweaters on the top shelf of her closet and listened to them only when we knew there was no chance of anyone coming over. I tore down the gravel road away from the Kittle House and made the tires squeal when I turned onto paved road. Normy’s car hugged the turns of the Saw Mill River Parkway as I made it from Chappaqua to Tarrytown in record time.

Natural Wonders

2010-06-08T08:51:00.000-07:00

So, over the weekend we decided to do something fun as a family and that something ended up being a hike. Yes, I said hike. As in outdoors with nature, two of my least favorite things. Jeff and his dad went on a hike Saturday morning while I stayed home to clean (yay for mom's free time, right?!) and they both had a good time and it was a really, really nice day so I went along with it for Sunday. Well, let me back up. Jeff and I had a night out alone on Saturday, which was WAAAAAAY overdue. I was immensely excited for this as being a stay at home mom is not the easiest thing for me right now. Anyway, as we were getting ready, nature made it's way into our lives in the form of two disgusting ticks that were living on Jeff's back. Now, I don't do bugs. Snakes, mice I'm fine with but not bugs, not ever. Except ladybugs but that's another story. Anyway, as we were getting ready and waiting for grandma to come and babysit, I noticed them and screamed "YOU HAVE GROSS TICKS ON YOU." His reaction was to back up and rub himself on me which was not funny. He wanted them off so I had to put aside my fears and get the tweezers. According to the internet, the best way to remove them is to grab by the skin and pull up until they release their grip, which also ensures you won't squash them, thus releasing all their nasty bacteria into the person they're sucking on. The plan was to get them to release and then I would put them in a ziploc bag in case he got Lyme disease or some shit. That was the plan.

He laid on the floor while I went at them. Ticks are sick. I had to grab it and pull and hold and it would move and I'd lose my grip and have to start over and this went on for about 10 minutes and I hated every second of it, especially when the stupid thing finally let go and RAN ACROSS HIS ASS and I had to get it with the tweezers Mr. Miyagi style and then it was flailing it's legs all over and being disgusting and I screamed until I got it in the bag. The second wasn't as easy and it clung on for dear life until I finally got it off. I'm not entirely sure I got all of that one out but whatever. We finished getting dressed and headed out to dinner. It was around glass of wine #3 that I agreed to go hiking the next day. This was also how I ended up with my first tattoo but I digress. Anyway, the next morning Jeff was all "It's beautiful out! Can't wait to go hiking!" My initial reaction was "oh crap" and then "it's too hot" but then he actually went outside and said that no, it wasn't, it was about 72 degrees. Hmm. I had no other excuse so off we went.

When we arrived, I knew I was screwed when he got out to get a trail map and the car was immediately filled with mosquitoes. They were huge and swarming. We drove to the trail and parked and when we got out we were again attacked by them. We sprayed bug spray and made our way into the woods but after about 5 minutes and eleventy billion mosquitoes biting and flying around, I WAS DONE. You couldn't even open your mouth they were so bad. Max was COVERED with them and they bit his eyes and ears so we ran back to the car and left. We drove to another hiking area about 10 minutes away, which was mosquito free, and found a nice shady area. I was determined not to be a pill about it so I hiked. It was a pretty day and I eventually enjoyed myself for a little while so I might go again. If this were Hawaii, I'd be all over this nature shit but its not and I need to take baby steps so DEAL.

This is also another reason why drinking can get you in trouble.

Japanese Garden Wedding

2010-05-31T18:20:00.000-07:00

So, this weekend was my first fancy schmancy wedding cake. It was very stressful because I did a lot of stuff I had never done before, including making flowers out of gum paste but I promised her the moon and the stars so I had to suck it up and LEARN. I spent most of the week making the flowers and I have to say that I think they turned out pretty well. I was afraid I'd have to punt and buy them fresh but I went with it and I was really happy. The topper was a tiger pulling a donkey. Don't ask me why because I don't know and I don't judge. Here's a photo tour of the cake:

Green sugar orchids

Yellow sugar orchids
The cake was HUGE so I assembled it on site. I set up 80% of the decoration before transport. Here's the start of the bottom two tiers.

And the top two
Since the tiger and donkey represented the bride and groom for this affair, I made him a donkey groom's cake. This was apparently a bigger hit than the actual wedding cake. Go figure.

The finished product.

With the bride's bouquet

I'd like to give a special shout-out to Dick Van Buren and Sharon Meyer, that's M-E-Y-E-R, for all their help this weekend. We make a great team!

Tiny fondant things are quiet.

2010-05-20T06:18:00.000-07:00

So, it's been kinda busy and weird and loud around these parts. This child is going through what can only be described as the worst case of the terrible twos that planet Earth has ever seen, so I haven't had much time or brain power to do anything other than plead with him to STOP WHINING, STOP THROWING, STOP YELLING, STOP KICKING, ETC. Seriously. This whining sound is horrific and it starts the second he wakes up (at freaking dawn no less) when he yells CUP CUP CUP and continues until he goes to bed when he yells CAR CAR CAR. All the live long day. It's slowly turning my brain into pea soup, which I hate. Who thinks pea soup looks delicious? It's like someone already ate it and it didn't agree with them (as my meemaw used to say.) Anyway, aside from that loveliness, I've been working on a wedding cake for next weekend which required many, many things I had never made before. Here are a few highlights:
Buddha (or Booba as Max calls him.)

cherry blossom tree
tiger

Shrek-style donkey

Yes, all these things are going on the same cake (don't judge) and as we all know, I LOVE tiny things so I've had fun making them. These are all about 3" tall at most with the exception of the tree, which is about an inch or so taller. This is my first cake in a while and I'm excited to get back into it. Tonight I have to make all the sugar flowers, mostly orchids, and the greenery so I might post pics of those tomorrow. Unless the whining makes me go completely insane in which case I doubt they'll let me bring my cake supplies into the loony bin.

It's Aloha Tuesday.

2010-05-11T06:07:00.000-07:00

So, I hope all you mothers out there had a good day Sunday. I woke up in a really special way by putting my foot in the pile of dog throw up that Zoey left under the covers for me. That dog is so sweet. Such a giver. I had really wanted to start doing laundry as soon as possible that morning so it all worked out well for me. YIPPEE. After that I got to clean and cook and host lunch. It was a nice day and Jeff made delicious ribs but next year I'm spending mother's day BY MYSELF IN A DARK ROOM VOID OF CHILDREN AND MESSES.

I also went for my surgical consultation yesterday and now we're more confused than ever. The surgeon said that he's looked over all my tests and that I'm smack in the middle of the pack as far as how harmful Flappy is. Flappy is what we've decided to name the hole in my heart since technically it's a flap that didn't seal rather than a hole like I got shot GANGSTA STYLE. We also like to name dumb things, like we named this weird piece of furniture we have here Jamal. Why, I don't know but that's what we call it, like "Did you put the mail on Jamal or in the office?" Anyway, Flappy isn't so bad that I'm going to keel over right now but it's bad enough that it caused the stroke so he's basically leaving it up to me. There are two schools of thought with this condition, those who think surgery is a good idea and those who think it can be managed with aspirin and/or a blood thinner. The problem is that I'm still going to have an increased risk of blood clots but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to have another stroke but it could happen. He wants us to talk it over and call them back in a few days to talk again. I guess that since everyone is like "oh this is an easy surgery" I didn't really think about the risks but after we talked and he laid them out, I realized it's more involved than I thought so my mind blanks out when I think about it. Seriously. It just blanks out. I guess we'll decide what to do over the next few days so I'll keep you posted.

We spent almost 13 hours in the car and 7 hours sleeping and we were gone for 33 hours. You do the math.

2010-05-05T05:17:00.000-07:00

So, our trip, if you can call it that, was pretty successful. We left late, of course, and by the time we got to the hotel, we only had enough time to run to the room and shower before we had to head downtown for our dinner reservations. Traffic SUCKED because of construction so it took us over an hour to get into the city, which meant our reservations went out the window and we decided to try and find somewhere near the venue to eat. Food is important to us! The traffic also meant that I was the world's worst backseat driver and I spent the whole ride down freaking out over the people darting in and out of traffic. Seriously, fine people of Chicago, what is the deal with your driving? Oh a lane is ending, well you make sure you floor it right until you get to the orange cones and then dart back into traffic, cutting off whoever is there. NO PROBLEM. Oh you don't want to wait in the line with the rest of us? Well then, go ahead and drive on the shoulder so you can be 4 cars ahead. That'll make all the difference and totally doesn't make everything worse, right? RIGHT?! No, it doesn't. It makes other people very mad.

Anyway, we got to the venue and scored on $4 street parking although we still had to find somewhere to eat. We ended up at a place called The Fat Cat and had to most delicious appetizers called Reuben Balls. They were, well, Reuben sandwich filling rolled into balls, covered in pumpernickel breadcrumbs and deep fried. DELICIOSO! After we filled up, we walked down to the concert. This band is my sister's favorite so we all went for her so all I'll say about the show is that SHE had a fantastic time and that's really all that mattered. It's prog rock, which is not something I enjoy but they would have been more tolerable had the place not been 85 degrees and humid. It was awful and poor Jeff kept squirming in his chair because he had sweat running all the way down his crack. By the time it ended and we were trying to get out through the throngs of people, I was about to pass the hell out and contemplated pushing everyone down to get out. We made it out only to realize it had now started to rain so we had to run 4 soaking wet blocks to the car. If I hadn't been so hot I would have been a lot more pissed off but that rain felt SO GOOD so I ignored the fact that my shoes were like sponges.

We were up early the next morning so we could be at Ikea when it opened because I only had 2.5 hours to shop and that's just not enough time for me. It takes me an hour just to gather myself enough to focus. Anyway, even though I had a list, my head still exploded and by the time I got to the bathroom fixtures, I was totally stressed out. I managed to get the countertops, backsplash panels, shelves and some other crap but really nothing fun and I had to practice deep breathing when they gave me my total. I could have bought about $10,000 worth of stuff and I did decide on the cabinets I want when we do our actual renovation so I got that going for me. We were under the gun by the time we got to the check out so we only had time to throw everything in the car, grab a very quick bite to eat and hit the road. We were home by 6:30. It was like 33 hours of driving and/or rushing around. I told Jeff that now I need a REAL vacation with sand and fruity drinks so we're in negotiations on that. I'm suggesting a place that rhymes with Bawaii and he's more "let's drive to Florida!" We'll see who wins.*

*probably not me

Maybe I'll just swallow the whole machine next time

2010-04-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday was my last test before surgery. (cue ominous music) I would have written about it after we got home, but I was all jacked up on sedatives and some kind of painkiller and it would have probably been a long rambling opus on the wonders of cars made of cheese that drive down roads paved with giraffes and bars of soap. That's how much sense I made. The test sucked pretty hard, although I was only awake for the pre-game, which consisted of me laying on a table while our old friends Jerri and Brenda (ok, her name was actually Donna but Brenda just seems so right so I'm keeping it) poked and prodded me, topped off by Jerri telling me I had to "gargle a numbing agent," which in reality was a goopy sludge that tasted like pure hatred mixed with cherries. I was lying down and she stood over me, told me to open up and proceeded to pour this shit right down my throat. This is as pleasant of a thing as I imagine water torture to be. I held it at the back of my throat because I was afraid it would eat away my insides if I let it go down but then the doctor said to gargle, which I did and which made it worse because now it was running down the back of my throat and I had no choice but to swallow. To top it off, the doctor then told me he was going to spray ANOTHER numbing agent into my mouth and came at me with a can of what looked like the air you clean your keyboard with. He told me not to breathe in but when he sprayed a HIGH PRESSURE VAPOR into my mouth, my natural reaction was to gasp and cough. Then he said he had to do it two more times. OF COURSE YOU DO. About this time, Brenda pushed my sedatives through the IV and the next thing I know I was awake, unhooked and out of it. My mom went with me and soon Brenda was wheeling me out to the car. I think she talked a lot about dogs. Or maybe it was ham. I don't know. We picked up Max from LM's, who was so kind as to babysit (thanks and sorry for the poop diaper) and proceeded home. I don't remember a whole lot more but eventually we ordered some lunch and then Jeff came home and then my meds wore off and my throat was KILLING me so I went to bed. I asked the lady how small the camera would be and she informed me it wasn't a camera, it was a tiny ultrasound thingy and I asked how tiny is tiny and she said "don't worry, it's only about THE SIZE OF MY FINGER." WTF?! SERIOUSLY? That's what they shoved down my throat and that's why it felt like had swallowed a nail covered in razorblades.

Anyhoo, now I'm just waiting to hear when they want to do the deed, hopefully sooner than later so I'll keep you posted. Tomorrow we head to Ikea, I mean Chicago. HA! Look out American Express card, hope you're well rested (just kidding honey!)

Toddler Adventures

2010-04-27T05:57:00.000-07:00

So, when we moved, we decided that maybe this was a perfect time to transition Max on a few things like potty training, a big boy bed and eating at the table instead of the high chair. The potty training is going very slowly and he's only peed in the Elmo toilet twice (both by accident, not intent) but he doesn't like having poop in his diaper anymore and will tell you "POOP" if it happens. Apparently this is a good sign but since I SUCK at potty training, our progress will continue to go slowly. He has also discovered the joy of throwing stuff into the toilet and flushing it. I predict my iPhone will find itself in a watery grave. One thing I have managed to do is instill some manners and he's very good with the thank yous and such so when he does flush things or if I have to pee and lord knows I have no privacy anymore so I have to pee with him standing next to me yelling "MOMMY POTTY" and then when he flushes it, he yells "BYE BYE POTTY, BYE BYE" at full volume. It was cute the first 467 times but now...not so much when we're in the Target bathroom which is very echo-y.
Anyway, we also decided that we would use a booster chair at the table instead of the high chair. It went okay the first few times but he's become a food thrower, especially when he doesn't like something as evidenced by the half-chewed piece of lettuce that ended up in my hummus last night. He will also put his feet on the table and push himself back, almost toppling over backward, until we jump up for the millionth time to tell him to stop. Well, last night I was DONE WITH THIS CRAP. My dumb stroke gave me headaches and I also had to lug him around Global Foods yesterday on my shoulder because while a nap at home was apparently unacceptable to him, sleeping through the grocery store was totally fine but it meant a pulled muscle for me so I wasn't exactly a ray of sunshine by dinner time. Well, he wouldn't stop throwing salad, even though he spent the whole time I was making the salad yelling "SARAD" so I know he wanted it, and when we told him to stop he retaliated by throwing it at the dog (she didn't seem to mind) so I decided some tough love was in order. I got him out of his seat, explained that this was not how we eat at the table and he spent the rest of the time in his playpen. He was, as you can imagine, not thrilled about this. Jeff and I went back to the kitchen and had a nice dinner, completely ignoring the yelling coming from the other room. I felt bad at first but this shit has to stop and if I teach him nothing else, I want him to have some damn manners and he must not be too hungry if he's more interested in throwing the food than eating it. When I was a kid, we had to call parents by Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. and we were NOT allowed to act up like this without getting into serious shit but I guess that isn't the way to do things these days or else people call you a mean mom. I don't even think they make kids call their teachers by Mr or Mrs anymore which I think is crap but I digress. Anyway, this all means that he isn't a baby anymore (newsflash), he's a kid with an attitude and I'm hell bent on making sure that attitude stays in check. I am clearly delusional.
Our last transition is the big boy bed, because he's become a total bear to get to sleep anymore. He wants to sleep with us or on the floor of his room so I figured maybe we can try a little bed. I'm clearing the room of anything he can kill himself with and gating the doorway and we're going to give it a go. Worst case he can't handle it and the crib goes back in but if it does work and we can all get better sleep then it's worth the experiment. I already picked out the bed from Ikea so this will happen sooner than later. If you notice your grocery store is totally out of wine, you'll know why.

Just put some of that Billy May's magic putty in the hole and call it a day.

2010-04-23T07:21:00.000-07:00

So, I went to the cardiologist yesterday. I have to say that the people there were extremely nice and I only had to wait about 10 minutes before they had me in a room. Contrast that with the last time I took Max to the doctor for a 3:20 appt and the doctor didn't come into the room until 4pm. The nurse did a quickie EKG first and then the doctor came in to explain what I kind of already knew. He drew me a picture of a heart and explained where the hole was and why it was causing problems. It was funny because he stopped mid-draw and asked me what I did for a living. When I said artist, he smiled and said he wanted to know how technical he could get. I told him I had watched ER for like 14 years, which kind of made me a doctor (not really) so he toned it down to "preschooler" level. He also told me, in a strange twist of fate, that he had been the cardiologist on staff last week that read my initial EKG and he was kind of weirded out because he said that he rarely if ever sees the patients he diagnoses. If was a fluke that I ended up in his office. Anyway, long story short, I have to have one more EKG next week, but this time they're putting me out and sticking a camera down my throat. SUPER! He is also about 98% sure that surgery is going to be the final outcome. FANTASTIC! He said the surgery isn't as invasive as it used to be and that they only have to crack open my chest if there are complications (?!) and that I'll be good as new.

So, that's what I know. Yes, it sucks on an epic level but at least they can fix it. Of course, I'm worried about the fact that I have a huge wedding cake at the end of May and that the surgery will interfere but then Jeff explained that perhaps having HEART SURGERY was more important but I digress. I've already committed and I'm not letting the bride down so SUCK IT HEART SURGERY. I'll make orchids from my bed if I have to.

Calling Dr. Love......

2010-04-22T07:53:00.001-07:00

So, I see the cardiologist today. They called a few minutes ago to get a medical history and when I answered "no" to 99% of her questions, she was like "um, why do you need to see a cardiologist again?" so I had to explain. I guess I don't fit the mold. What else is new. I'm hoping my lack of family history and everything else means my situation isn't anything to get all worked up over, although it will come in handy when I don't want to have to lift something. (just kidding honey! not really) Anyway, before that I have to go sign Maxipoo up for Parents As Teachers and next week we go visit his new preschool. I can't believe he's old enough for preschool but he is so god help them. His attention span is about -.67 seconds so I'm sure he'll be loads of fun. We're also diligently working on our adoption paperwork, and by diligently I mean veeerrrryyy sssllloooowwwllly. I told Jeff that we were going to get it going THIS EFFING WEEKEND because they're going to tell us to go blow if we don't get our ass in gear. We're settled on Ethiopia, Korea will just be too long of a wait for us olds, and from what I hear it's pretty quick to get a referral, although we're requesting a girl and that historically takes longer but who knows. There is also WAY more paperwork than there was with Korea because we'll actually do the whole court part on our first trip, which sucks because we technically will have adopted her/him in the eyes of the Ethiopian government and then we have to LEAVE HER/HIM THERE FOR 6-12 WEEKS to come home and await the visa approval and then go back for the pick up. Can you believe that?! It's probably the worst aspect of this program but it's better than a 2 year wait.

Anyway, I'll update after my appt to let you know what they say.

Ch-ch-ch-changes......

2010-04-21T06:57:00.000-07:00

So, we're going to Chicago in two weeks with my sister and bro-in-law. It's just an overnight trip to go see her favorite band but Jeff and I are making the most of it and are stopping at Ikea to get some cheap stuff for the house. I've pretty much crapped out on getting this house put together because all I want to do is rip stuff out and I have nothing to replace anything with. While I love my new house and know that when we do all the stuff we eventually want to do, it'll be KICK ASS, the reality is that it's pretty jacked up right now. It's obvious they slapped on some paint to sell this thing and when I say slapped on some paint, I'm not exaggerating. They painted over the tile back splash, the outlet covers and wallpaper. Like three layers of wallpaper. And they added a skim coat to smooth it out to really throw us off. Too bad they forgot that wallpaper has SEAMS that are right there for the world to see. sigh. Not to mention the ridiculously ugly fans and light fixtures that plague us. Seriously. Our bathroom fixture, if you can call it that, looks like it was a reject from the Bates Motel and you know they had low standards already.

Anyway, I'm going to photo document this expedition and since it's where we spend all our time, we're starting in the kitchen. This is what it looks like now:

Nice. The clutter adds a certain elegance, right? I also could have wiped off my lens but you know where you are. This weekend, we're painting the lower cabinets so that when we get back from Ikea, we're all ready to rip out the uppers. We're replacing the uppers with open shelves and hopefully we're going to squeeze a countertop home in the van. I'm also in the market for an acid yellow paint color. When I was explaining this to Jeff, I showed him a cup that was close to the color I wanted, before I could even say it he said, "this color but more ACIDY, right?" He knows me. Stay tuned if you like this sort of thing. If not, I can't help you. Go read a book or something.

Coming Attractions

2010-04-19T17:51:00.000-07:00

So, my kick ass friends Connie & Jack are in Korea right this very minute getting their new son. They are already parents to Louie (Woowie) and Romy and will soon be a family of FIVE!! Check out their adventure at www.vivrett.com. On behalf of everyone here at Kimchi HQ, we wish them safe travels and eagerly await their return.

A Hole In One

2010-04-17T18:17:00.000-07:00

So, I had my tests on Friday. Liz was so kind as to go with me because I was a scaredy cat and Jeff couldn't get the whole day off to go so he met us halfway through. The first test was an echosomethingorother with bubbles (I'll explain) and the second was an MRA, which is an MRI but looks at your arteries instead of the I at the end of MRI. I'll try not to get too technical here. Anyway, the echo was basically an ultrasound of my heart with those little heart doodads attached to your chest. Liz got to come in the room with me and when we got there, the lady doing the test, Jerri, asked me how we were related and we both froze because we were afraid she'd have to leave if she wasn't family so I was about to say she was my lover (just kidding, honey!) but then she said it didn't matter, she was just curious. Anyway, Jerri kept cracking us up because she was apparently unfamiliar with the machine she was using and felt it necessary to express this about every 5 seconds and then laugh about it. We think she didn't want us to think she didn't know what she was doing because she kept searching for buttons. She was a hoot! I love how they're all up in your business about privacy and yet there I was in a darkened room getting my ticker looked at, boobs all out and these other nurses would just walk in. "LINENS!" "Don't worry, it's just me!" WTF? I'm no sideshow, ladies. Jerri did all kinds of crap with the ultrasound and then another woman came in to put my IV in so they could do the bubble test.

The bubble test, as they explained, was then they take a syringe of stuff and shake it up to make bubbles and then they push it through the IV. The bubbles are supposed to show them things and in my case, they were looking to make sure there wasn't a leak between the chambers of my heart. So the other lady, we'll call her Brenda because she looked like a Brenda, got me all hooked up and between her and Jerri had us laughing like a room full of hens and then she was like "we're going to push the bubbles!" I watched the screen and saw all these little dots go swooshing into my heart and Jerri and Brenda were like "There they go!" so Liz and I exchanged a smile that everything was okay. I asked Jerri "so everything's good?" and she and Brenda were like "oh no honey, there's a hole between the chambers. Those bubbles weren't supposed to do that." WHAT THE HELL?! We got so caught up in the bubbles like a couple of magpies that I didn't realize they showed bad shit. Ugh. I kinda freaked out and Liz knew it and started asking questions to make me feel better (thanks, Lizzy). They gave us a brief rundown and said that it could have allowed for a clot to pass through and get sent to my brain to cause the stroke. They said that the doctor will explain it in detail and tell me what course of action they'll want to take. It can be as simple as an aspirin a day or as major as surgery. SUPER.

After this hoopla, we were taken to a different department to get the MRA. They make you remove any metal and I have my nose pierced but I'm always too paranoid to leave the ring out in case it closes so I told Liz that I had brought a plastic tag from a shirt to stick in it. You know, the kind they hang the price tag from? When I pulled it out and explained to Liz what I was going to do and after she got off the floor from laughing so hard, she popped it in for me. That's friendship, people. So there I was with no bra and two hospital gowns on and a plastic price tag holder hanging out of the side of my nose being taken off to have my brains scanned. The MRA sucked and gave me a massive headache that lasted until late last night and thank god I wasn't claustrophobic because that was like a living tomb. It's also ridiculously loud and the two sets of earplugs didn't do much to help. Jeff had gotten there by this time and was waiting when I came out. He and Liz had been googling the hole in the heart thing to pass the time so they know more about it than I do. After that they sent me on my way and the three of us went and got some lunch. I was kind of wigged out, not only because they had just told me I have an effing HOLE IN MY HEART, but I had taken a Benadryl to try and combat my allergies and it made me reeeeally looooopy. They told me the doctor will call me Monday with all the results and to figure out how to proceed. So that's that. At least they have an idea of what's going on. I hope the brain scan was okay because I was hoping this heart business was all I needed to worry about right now. Stay tuned.......

Tricks are for kids.

2010-04-13T06:35:00.001-07:00

So, let's put all weird medical drama aside and focus on something really important, Max's new trick. He did this once before when my mom and I were at lunch and then again last weekend, although with the latter we got a 'TA-DA" and a leg lift for extra difficulty points. Jeff and I were almost crying from laughter because he's really serious business with this. I wish I could take credit for teaching him such valuable life lessons but this was all Yo Gabba Gabba. They have a segment called "Cool Tricks" and he was fascinated by the kid that did this. Who says TV is bad for kids?!

Stroke Face

2010-04-12T05:24:00.000-07:00

So, we had quite an interesting weekend here. It all started normally, Friday night was Panda Express and unpacking, the former I enjoyed much more than the latter. But Saturday things got....weird. The morning was typical, Max was up at the crack of dawn because sleeping is for the weak and by 9am we were at Home Depot buying shrubs and plants like good suburbanites. As we drove home, we made our plans for the afternoon, mostly planting and unpacking, and we discussed whether we were going to buy a new vanity for the hall bath. It's Max's bathroom right now but the vanity hasn't been considered new since Carter was in office and in addition to the rust and other disgustingly miscellaneous stains I found inside, someone was kind enough to leave me a tampon, you know, just in case. When we got home, Jeff agreed that it had to go and we decided to head out to a Home Depot by my sister's house because we knew they had a vanity for cheap in the scratch and dent aisle. We farted around the house for a few more hours and finally, when we realized Max was NEVER going to take a nap, decided to head back out. This is where it gets weird.

We got about a mile from home, maybe not even that far, and as I was scrolling though my iPhone so that Max could listen to Boom Boom Pow for the 1,245,968th time, I suddenly felt my right hand start to tingle like it was falling asleep. I pumped my fingers a few times thinking it was just a nerve or something and then I felt it travel all the way up my arm and then I couldn't feel anything on my right side. Hmm...this was not right. Then my shoulder slumped down and my arm went dead in my lap and I turned to scream at Jeff but when I yelled "MY RIGHT SIDE IS GOING NUMB!!!", he said that it sounded like I had been at the dentist and was more like "MAH RAH THIDE ISTH GONG NUM!!" and about 20 seconds later, it was gone and I was back to normal. Well, I shouldn't say back to normal because I was now FREAKING THE HELL OUT and we drove slowly around trying to decide what to do. I really did feel fine so while you're probably saying, GO TO THE HOSPITAL IDIOT, I didn't really feel like I needed to go. Instead we drove home and I thought that if I got out and walked around, I would feel better. Jeff decided to hop on his phone and Google what had happened and then he was like "Get back in. We're going to the ER."

Sadly, when we moved, my dumb ass never checked to see what hospital I go to now. My old hospital was about 5 minutes from home but now I had like 4 to choose from and I had no clue which was the right one for my insurance and now I was more freaked out about a huge hospital bill than whatever was happening to me. Isn't that ridiculous?! I know, but it's the truth. Anyway, I was too wigged out to figure out the stupid insurance company website as we flew down the highway to option 1 so we finally called my sister to see if she knew. She directed us, we were at the wrong one, and about 10 minutes later I was checking myself in. The lady was like "what brings you in?" and I told her that the right side of my body went numb and she responded with "WOW! That's not right, is it?" Um no, that's why I'm here. Long story short, and anytime in an ER is a loooooong story, they did a CT scan and determined that I had an TIA, or mini-stroke. They have no explanation for it, I don't fit the criteria of risk factors, but that's what happened. The scan showed no tumors or damage so they discharged me and told me to follow up with my regular doctor today so I guess he's going to try to find out what the hell happened. Freaky. We Googled it when we got home (don't ever do this if you value your sanity) and it looks like I'll either be totally fine, have more of these mini things or I'll have a big old regular stroke. Fantastic! I'm going to assume that I'm going to be fine but I'm curious to hear what my doctor thinks. I'll keep you posted......

UPDATE: Well, I went to the doctor and he wants to do some tests this Friday. They have long names that I cannot spell so take my word for it. He was concerned but not panicky so I'm trying to follow suit. I could obsess over this for the rest of the week but stress isn't a flavor I want to add to this stew so I'm going to attempt to remain calm. Ask me again on Wednesday. I might crack like an egg.

Week One(ish)

2010-04-07T13:22:00.000-07:00

So, it's been a week since we moved in. Well, actually a week since we closed but we didn't sleep here until the next night but I digress. So far we have jack and shit done. That's not true. The bathroom floors were all dated and kinda gross and I knew that if a stomach virus suddenly struck I would be too grossed out to kneel on it, so I replaced all three bathroom floors with peel and stick tile. I know, tres chic, right? Faux slate. It's not too bad though and it's better than gray with pink hearts or a lovely shiny fake marble, all worn and stained. Delightful! I have about $.73 to decorate this masterpiece so I'm using every trick I can find. We also removed a large, obtrusive cabinet from over our counter. It was the most ridiculous thing and I smacked my head on it repeatedly even though I knew it was there and I have no clue why this was ever considered a good idea. Visually, it cut off the head and legs of anyone coming in the kitchen so I had to identify by crotch and it made the counter below it useless. We also bought a new fridge and when they delivered it this morning, we realized it's 2 inches too tall and hits the cabinet. So, we're ripping out the cabinet and we might rip out a bunch more and put in shelving. We also have these kick ass tall pine trees in the backyard that block the southern sky so we can't get a satellite dish. Well, we can but they have to put it smack dab on the front of the house which will totally be awesome, right new neighbors? I don't know what to do about that. We can't get U-verse here (suck it AT&T) and the cable company is crazy expensive. We've been watching Yo Gabba Gabba dvd's and a lot of PBS but I'm wearing thin. We're a TV loving family and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I need more channels. I NEED THEM.

Lest you think all is rosy, I still have every room but the kitchen and living room totally filled with unopened boxes, empty boxes (not many), rugs, clothes, etc. Seriously. You can't even walk through the office. It's so overwhelming that I decided a better use of my time would be to watch Max play in the backyard and pretend magical elves are taking care of this business. It took me a month to pack and it'll take me three months to unpack. Next time I'm selling it all and starting fresh.

Chapter Two

2010-03-30T06:29:00.000-07:00

So, we’re out. Totally out. Lights out, door locked. We were going to stay until Monday but we closed in the late morning and it would have been pretty chaotic trying to get out of there and get ready and everything so we decided to head to my sister’s on Sunday. When we finally crashed into bed that night, Jeff turned to me and said “I still can’t believe we did this! We’re actually moving. I didn’t think it would really happen.” He’s been proclaiming his disbelief for days now and I always poo-pooed it because we do LOTS of things that we didn’t think we could do, like adopting a baby from Korea, but when he said it last night I totally agreed with him. Yeah, we had some bumps along the way, and by bumps I mean giant, steaming, festering piles of crap that impeded our progress and at times almost killed the deal. I couldn’t write about a lot of the things that happened since I was on my GAG ORDER but now I can talk. The guy who put the contract down did so 9 days after we started showing. Within 24 hours we had another contract. Then a day later my neighbor told us her brother was moving here from California and HE wanted to buy it. Then a FOURTH party came forward but at that point we decided to accept the first offer and roll. Ideally it would have been the neighbor’s brother but there was a delay in getting his job transfer and then the new house people were going to kick us out of our contract unless we removed our sale contingency and that’s when we went into high gear and went for it and firmly decided that this is what we were doing no matter what. Soon inspections, new roofs, tuckpointing, cleaning and more cleaning and a LOT of stress ensued.

All of a sudden the time was here and soon there was a storage pod outside and on Friday night a bunch of guys from Jeff’s work came and loaded our lives into it. Funny story, on Friday night, around 9pm and after everyone had gone home AND after having spent the better part of 3 hours getting the thing loaded, Jeff went to shut the door of the storage pod and couldn’t It was jammed. We could only move it about 12 inches up or down. We were exhausted and I couldn’t take it anymore, especially considering Jeff told me that if we couldn’t shut it, we were going to have to sleep outside on the street to guard our stuff, so I stood in front of the house crying into the phone, telling the storage people what had happened and them telling me there wasn’t anything they could do. Next thing I knew, Jeff was inside it climbing up the treadmill to try and un-jam the lock. He was victorious, despite a cut on the arm and a smashed finger. That sums up this whole experience. It worked out despite some bruises along the way.

On Sunday, as I stood at the sink washing out the remnants of our family from the refrigerator shelves, I started thinking about everything that this house meant to us. This house was why Jeff and I were together. When he bought it 12 years ago, the bathrooms had peeling wallpaper that I would tease him about every time I visited because it was such a typical bachelor pad. Finally one day he was sick of my teasing and said “fine, then come over and redo my bathrooms” and I did. I had known Jeff for many years but spending a weekend crammed into a 5’x5’ bathroom together does things to you and by the end of the weekend I was in love. Our first date was about a week later and the rest is history. This house is also where we secretly got engaged about a month before he did it publicly, it was where my Meemaw came to live out her last weeks, it was where we spent many sleepless nights with our new son, it was where we fought, made up and planned out our lives together. That house was our constant.

When I finally mopped us out the door and turned off the lights for the last time, I turned to Jeff and cried again. I told him I didn’t know why I was still crying and he said it was because I wasn’t made of stone but I think it was because I was sad to say goodbye to this pile of bricks that had Jeff and I written all over it. Every inch of that house was a part of us. As I pulled away and watched the house fade away in the rearview mirror, I smiled and remembered about the new chapter we were starting and how when Max is big I’ll tell him stories of the house where his mom and dad made their family.

Happy Birthday Max

2010-03-25T13:12:00.000-07:00

So, today is Max's birthday. The big 2. I believe at 12:01am a flip switched and my sweet baby is now a mouthy toddler hellbent on world destruction. I keed. Not really. Anyway, since we're moving he's kinda getting the shaft on a party or cake this year. Maybe after we get moved. We did go to the train museum with Woowie (Louie) and Connie, so that made it a fun day. I took a picture today to see how much he's changed from last year. It's quite something.

Max, March 25, 2009

Max, March 25, 2010

He looks so grown up for 2, doesn't he? sigh. Just kidding! I love that he's getting older. Babies aren't all they're cracked up to be. I love hearing him talk (mostly) and he's got mad skills on the drums. He's a handful but he's MY handful and that's just fine with me. I love you my sweet baby!

On the house front, things are moving toward the end, we load the storage container tomorrow and we'll be out on Monday. Tonight is our last "normal" night in this house. Sheesh. It's been 10 years here and that's weird to think about. I'm sure I'll have some dumb melancholy post this weekend so get out your hanky.

Why is everything so f*%^#&g hard?

2010-03-23T06:36:00.000-07:00

So, this is our final week, or "The Final Countdown" if you're a Europe fan. Our basement is still in a pretty sad state but the bulk of our stuff is all packed up. I'm getting nervous that one storage unit won't be large enough but I'm too cheapo to get a second one so I'm throwing out a lot of stuff. We needed to purge anyway so it's all for the better and we won't be automatically filling up our new house with old junk. I have plenty of time to do that going forward. Anyway, our tuckpointer dude was supposed to start yesterday, which would finally round out all the crap we've had to shell out for. As my sister says, this is the time they hold you for ransom and she's right. Oh you want to sell your house? Fine, just spend a few thousand dollars fixing something dumb and then we'll be all set. Oh yeah and we're going to charge buttloads of money for whatever it is we decide we want you to fix, mmkay? Ahh, bureaucracy.

The dude was supposed to start tomorrow but the morning rain sort of screwed that up but I did give him supply money so he could start first thing today. However, it's 8:40am and there is no sign of any tuckpointer. I'm trying not to panic and Jeff said that if he doesn't show by 10, then I can start panicking so I'm going to save it up until then but I really should probably be panicking just a little bit right now so we just won't tell Jeff. Stay tuned...........

**UPDATE - So the dude finally showed at 10. It's going, slowly, but at least it's getting done. Max has also declared this day VIVA LA REVOLUCION and is staging a mutiny. He knows to pounce on mommy when she's weak. Well played, child.

You neither tuck nor point. Why don't they just call it brick repair?

2010-03-19T05:52:00.000-07:00

So, this saga is never effing ending. We talked to the tuckpoint guy and while we got him to agree to a decent price, or at least a price that isn't going to compel me to jump off the nearest tall building, NOW he tells us he doesn't think he can get it done before closing. Well, that's not really going to work now, is it? He was nice enough but bristled when I brought up this very important factor. Sooooo.....we went to plan B and started calling around last night, trying to get someone with a crew to come who can do it in a day or so. There isn't THAT much and the first guy was telling us that he needed several, not a couple or a few, but SEVERAL dry days to do the job and while he's nice and all, I don't think he's the man for this and I think he knew it because he gave me the side eye when I kept mentioning timeframes and how several days wasn't in our plans.

So, we've arranged for two estimates today, first guy has a crew but we have no clue on price and second guy has guys to work for him and is reasonable price-wise, but he himself is going out of town for the next three weeks so a crew with no leader isn't giving me the warm fuzzies when we're dealing with thousands of dollars of work. What if we pay him and the crew never shows? What of they show for a day and then don't come back? These things concern me. That and when I gave him our address he seemed VERY familiar with it. Wanna know why? Turns out he's related to the FIRST GUY. The one that wanted "several days" to do the job. SUPER. This is why I hate calling around for bids and stuff. I felt like I needed to mention that we had spoken to him already but that the time frame wouldn't work but then I remembered that we're only going to be living here for another week so I really can't be concerned with the feelings of a man who's name I just learned 24 hours ago even though he's lived one house away for the last 6 years. Let's all hope the first guy works out so I don't have a front lawn family reunion on my hands.

Et tu, house?

2010-03-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

So, I'm about thisclose to having a total panic freakout with this house business. First the roof, which incidentally is being fixed as I type, had to be replaced and now I'm trying to get someone to help us out with tuckpointing but am being told that I have to do the ENTIRE HOUSE. Look Mr. Tuckpointer, I'm sure you want a nice big job but do the words SPOT TUCK POINT mean anything to you?? That's what I want done and I don't need a job that will "last into the next century" because I don't care about the next century. I care about today and having you fix my goddamn brick so I can pass inspection. Also sir, I know what a parapet is and just because I am a lady doesn't mean I am dumb so don't talk down to me. That is all.

AAAAAAAAAAACK.

I have one word for what I need today and it rhymes with martini.

It's St. Patrick's Day. Or as I call it, Wednesday.

2010-03-17T12:01:00.000-07:00

So, we're at 12 days and counting until we close. The inspection went......okay? They didn't ding us for everything, just a couple major things, one of which is a new roof. Yes, we have to get a new roof. Oh when, you might ask, since we're at 12 DAYS AND COUNTING?! Tomorrow. Not only that, but we also have to do a fair amount of tuckpointing, which we're doing ourselves and it's about as much fun as jury duty. We would have hired it out to the professionals, but since we have to buy the roof (spoiler alert: ROOFS ARE NOT INEXPENSIVE) they get our slightly better than total crap handiwork. However, I'm looking at the bright side. I've learned a new trade and we're actually moving and this is actually happening. Jeff frequently walks around saying "I can't believe we're really moving" and I'm sure when the day comes it'll all finally sink into the bubbling tub of goo known as my brain and then I'll be like "HOLY HELL WE'RE MOVING!" We're really excited, though. Our house has gotten progressively smaller in our minds since we decided to do this, much like the trash compactor scene in Star Wars, and the extra space calls to me like a sweet siren. Max will have so much more room to throw crap around and more walls to draw on and more floor space to drive his little car like he just left happy hour so this will bring him right out of his shell. I keed, I keed. He is a small dictator with more confidence than sense. I think this will be a good thing for us all, though. It's a big change but I like big changes. Sure they're awkward at first and I'm sure Jeff will instinctively drive home to the wrong house a few times but change is what makes life interesting, right?

Speaking of change, our second adoption got back-burnered while this house business gets sorted out but we kinda decided that maybe Korea isn't the place for us to go this time. We had a fab experience, don't get me wrong, but the program has changed and as my friend Connie will tell you, the wait is longer and harder now and since we are no spring chickens, this troubles me. So, we think we're switching programs. We haven't made a decision yet but we're throwing around Ethiopia and possibly China, although we're leaning more towards the former. Either way the programs are FAST so we're taking our time deciding. Well, "taking our time" in this house is kind of relative because I have no patience and like to do things RIGHT NOW, so really as soon as we're settled, this thing is ON.

22 Days

2010-03-09T12:18:00.000-08:00

So, I haven't talked much about the house because my agent is all SHUT UP ABOUT THE HOUSE ONLINE lest I divulge too many trade secrets. Little does he know that I only understand about 37% of what he jabbers on about so I'm not a reliable source on anything and as far as I can tell, I'd have a better understanding of cold fusion than these contracts. However, as I fear for my life, I will only speak in sweeping generalizations. At this point, we are in the "negotiating phase" of this house ordeal, which yes, I'm calling an ordeal at this point. Our house, purty as she is, is 112 years old and has some wear and tear. This should come as a surprise to no one. That means that we get our inspection demands tomorrow and it could all go off the rails. Or it could be fine. I'm trying to not plan on a worst case scenario but then I'm pleasantly surprised when things aren't totally jacked up, so that's where my head is. Hope for good, plan for crying. We're still planning on closing on this house AND our new house on the 31st. That's 22 days from now. That's not very long. Hold me.

Little Drummer Boy

2010-03-02T17:40:00.000-08:00

So, this kid is obsessed with his drums. And his train. But mostly his drums. We listen to 80's pop music all day and he will ROCK OUT. Jeff got him on video. He is very pleased with himself.

The Many Faces of Max

2010-02-28T07:38:00.000-08:00

All of these were taken within 10 seconds of each other.

Cake Alert!

2010-02-28T07:25:00.001-08:00

So, this is my last cake for a while. I have to pack all my cake stuff and won't have a kitchen set up until mid-April so LIVE IT UP NOW, PEOPLE.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

T-minus 5.5 weeks and counting

2010-02-22T05:47:00.001-08:00

So, the house drama continues. I can't say a lot because my agent keeps yelling at me for my big mouth yapping about stuff so all I'll say is that provided the inspection on our house goes well, which we're pretty confident will happen (for the most part), we'll be moving into our new house in 5 1/2 weeks!! We had our inspection at the new place Saturday and while it wasn't cringe-free (painting AND mudding over wallpaper? Really? Really?! Why do you hate me?), nothing terrible was found and everything that's broken can be fixed. We were there for almost 4 hours (the inspector was very thorough) so I got a lot of time to poke around in the daylight. We realized when we got there that we'd only been there at night so daytime was a whole new experience. There are a ton of windows and the house gets really light and bright during the day and it was fun to be able to sit and really think about living there and what I want to do with it. They laid a new kitchen floor because of the water damage and while it's not what I would have chosen style-wise, it's new and neutral so I'm fine with it for now. I hope that in about 5 years we can rip everything out and start over but for now I can only make cheap, minor improvements. My sister is like "why bother, just live in it like it is" but can't help it. I already have a whole list ready for IKEA in April. I'm chomping at the bit to get my grubby hands into all these projects but I MUST BE PATIENT.

So that's that. We now just wait and see what happens. I'm staying the course and going on the notion that we're moving even though my agent keeps reminding me ad nauseam that nothing is final until they hand us the key so I'm staying on HIGH ALERT. Or at least MEDIUM ALERT. Jeff keeps looking at me and saying "I can't believe we're moving. A month ago we weren't moving and now ALL THIS STUFF has happened and now we've got a new house in the 'burbs and HOLY CRAP WE'RE MOVING." Yes dear, we are. Living with me is like living on a roller coaster. Sometimes it's all smooth and fun but then the bottom drops out and you just have to hang on and enjoy the ride.

WOO HOO!!!!!!!!

2010-02-18T14:29:00.001-08:00

We sold our house (pretty much)!!!!!

As I mentioned before, we got an offer on the house Tuesday night. We went back and forth and were ready go when we got....another offer. Last night. At like 9pm. We were both like "holy shit are you kidding me?" but it was true. The second offer was close to the first so we were both cornfused as to what to do. We slept on it, decided to counter the first offer again this afternoon and they accepted! We're both kind of in shock that this is all really happening. We only went to look at our new house on a lark, just to get it out of my system. I guess it was meant to be. Ballwin, here we come.

Our next hurdle is the inspection process on this house and our new house and I'm nervous about both. Our house is over 100 years old so who knows what kind if crap they'll find and they might tell us this new place is a claptrap so nothing is final until they hand me the key.

UPDATE: Well, shit. The agent called. Someone else made an offer on our new house and they're giving us 72 hours to either commit to buy before our house sale goes through or it's sayonara new house. We have our inspection on Saturday so we're going to decide then. This totally sucks.

Yowza!

2010-02-17T10:41:00.000-08:00

So, we got an offer last night! It's all still in the negotiating stage so I'll spare the details until later.

WOOHOO!!!

Lookey-loo

2010-02-15T11:40:00.000-08:00

So, I forgot to mention this earlier. We had a showing yesterday scheduled from 1-2, which generally means we skeedaddle out of here around 12:45ish. Now, Max has made house showing LESS THAN FUN because we pretty much have to follow him out the door with a swiffer. He is like Pigpen from the Peanuts Gang. Dirt follows him. Anyway, at around noon, I told Jeff that I was going to shower and then get the Dirt Devil dressed and ready to go. I was done and dressed by 12:25 and went into Max's room to while Jeff cleaned up. I had just started to change his diaper when Jeff came running into his bedroom half screaming/half whispering "THEY'RE HERE THEY'RE HERE THEY'RE HERE...." I was like "are you (insert swear word here) kidding me?!" He was not kidding. All of a sudden the front door opens, I hear voices and Max takes off to see who was here to visit him because why else would someone be here, right? Well, I don't think the agent and nice couple (please buy my house, nice people) were quite expecting to see a small Asian boy run up to them in a pajama top and no pants yelling "HI!" I ran after him and was all "hi, we weren't expecting you for another 30 minutes. We'll be out of here shortly." What transpired next is what I imagine would happen should aliens suddenly invade. We were running around frantically putting on shoes, finding pants, spraying air freshener, hoping there were no poopy diapers left lying around, grabbing coats and in about 90 seconds we were out. Max was plopped into his car seat sans shoes and a coat and I had wet hair and 1/2 my makeup on. The best part was this:

me: I'm so sorry, please come in and look around. We're on our way out.

agent: (looking puzzled as to why we didn't use our ESP to know he would be 35 minutes early) Oh, okay. Are we early?!

me: No problem, we were expecting you at 1. We're leaving now.....

agent: Sorry for the mixup! Don't worry, we'll only be about 5-10 minutes.

SERIOUSLY DUDE?! I spent 3 hours making my house look as pretty as a Southern Belle at her coming out party and you give me 5 TO 10 MINUTES?! Ass.

Then we went and got donuts because that's what I do when I'm stressed out.

Monday, Monday...la la la la lala

2010-02-15T06:16:00.000-08:00

So, last week was super hectic and busy here. Between Tuesday and yesterday, we had 9 showings, two of which were second showings. That's all super great and awesome except that none of those showings came with a bright shiny offer for me to jump for joy over :( I know I'm being impatient but we got all excited with the activity and now we have the sads. I haven't buried the statue YET but if we don't get anything cookin' in the next few days, that suckers going in head first. THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.

In the midst of all this hoopla, we're still filling out paperwork for the new adoption, which is also coming along slower than I would like. It's not difficult, just time consuming, and time is a hot commodity nowadays. We've decided to refer to the new baby as Doug. Doug is not his name, but rather a placeholder name until we can decide on something and "the new baby" is just a lot to say and like I said, I don't have the time to say three words instead of one. Even if it's a girl, she will still be known as Doug. It took us years (I'm not kidding) to agree on Max so unless we name this one Max II like we used to do with our dogs, this could be a struggle. As was the case before, I enjoy names that trend to the unusual while Jeff likes names that won't get the child beat up in middle school. Potato, po-tah-to. Anyway, my goal this week is to get all the paperwork in so I don't have paperwork guilt to add to my normal guilt. We have another showing tonight and an agent thingy tomorrow so SOMEONE PLEASE BUY MY HOUSE.

OMG!

2010-02-10T19:15:00.001-08:00

So, it's been really busy around here so no typey the bloggey. We've already had four showings so I've spent every waking moment cleaning every surface I can find. Max has made this somewhat difficult and by somewhat difficult I mean extremely difficult. I pack it, he unpacks it. I clean it, he throws a chicken finger on it. It is a war I cannot win. Touche.

The other major news is that THEY ACCEPTED OUR OFFER!!! It's in the wee stages so many things could fall apart and we still have to sell our house but I'm remaining optimistic. For now.

I have no patience. It's only been 4 days and I'm already stressed out. Ugh.

Yikes.

2010-02-07T12:52:00.002-08:00

So, we went and put a contract on the house today. Big step. Yep. We'll know if they accept or whatever by 5pm tomorrow. I hope they accept. I hope we sell our house. It went on the market today, too. There is a lot going on around here.

Cake Alert

2010-02-07T12:52:00.001-08:00

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

Lost Recap

2010-02-04T12:42:00.000-08:00

So, I had planned on posting a full 8 page Lost recap but I've been too busy and I don't think I can fully articulate my confusion with all the other crap (ie. facts) in my brain right now. I will say that the episode was freaking awesome and that LM and I sat in silence the whole time, partially because of the no-talking rule, which I say thank you to LM for honoring, and partially because I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on for most of it. Here are some bullet points to discuss amongst yourselves until next week:

- Where the hell did Richard come from? I don't think it was the Black Rock, I think he's older than that, like Egyptian old, but he is tied up in this mess in a big way. He seems very confused as to what's going on. Join the club, sir.

-Why did the Losties jump through time when the bomb went off? Why were they the only ones to travel? Other Dharma people were at the site with them. Are the 1977 versions of the Losties dead in the blast? Are they resting in a poorly animated underwater tomb? Would we see their bodies if we went diving?

-What is the real impact of Jacob's death? Why is everyone so afraid? If he is some all knowing being, how was he so easily killed by dumb Ben?

-Who is Zombie John Locke? Is he going to stay in Locke's body the whole time or morph back into the dude from the beach? Why is he so mad at everyone? Has he been taking the form of people all along and we never knew it? Has he been manipulating this entire thing the whole time? What do those two have to do with Dharma?

-I know it seems as though there are two realities happening here, but I've decided that it's the opposite. I think there has always been more than one reality happening and the bomb detonating somehow caused them to cross and now they're one. Maybe. I'm still working this one out in my physics laboratory. (I assume you read that as la-BOR-atory and you would be correct.)

-Why was Desmond on the plane? Where did he disappear to?

-What is the deal with Undead Sayid? Why did they kill him? So Jacob could have a body to live in? We all remarked at the religious symbolism in this episode, which was really evident in the scene where they take him out of the pool and he's outstretched like Jesus on the cross. Then he died. Then he came back to life. I don't think that was coincidence. I know this show has a lot to do with religion and I'm very curious as to how that will be presented in the end.

Okay, I'm done. I have a billion other questions but I also have things to do. This is no spoiler but I read that the last 10 minutes of next week's episode will BLOW US AWAY. Consider yourself warned.

LOST RECAP: Season Premiere Edition

2010-02-02T07:29:00.001-08:00

So, tonight is the season premier of Lost and I'm as excited as a kid on Christmas eve. I've been waiting patiently for this day since May 13, 2009 and I almost can't wait the last 9.5 hours. LM is coming over to watch with me since Jeff doesn't really care and I need someone who cares so that we can gasp out loud together. We have strict Lost watching rules like no talking and no phone calls (I'm looking at you, Jan) and Jeff is also in charge of Max from 7pm until bedtime. This is mommy's night and she will cut anyone who ruins it.

That all being said, let's go back for a short recap, shall we?

-In the present day, after Richard led them into the foot tomb, Zombie John Locke convinced Ben to stab Jacob in the gut and then kicked him into the fire pit. While this was shocking to no one who knows what foreshadowing is, it was somewhat shocking for Jacob to be so mean to Ben ("What about you?") since he seemed to know what was going on. We also learned that Zombie John Locke was of course not ZJL but The Man In Black, whoever that is. Evil? The devil? Johnny Cash?

-Speaking of Richard, he was out on the beach with the others this whole time and was soon joined by Ilana and her crew, who are carrying a large, body sized crate. What's inside? Well, it's dead John Locke, of course. Richard is cornfused. He also finally answers the riddle "what lies in the shadow of the statue?" He says it is "he who will save us all." Who is "he?" Zombie Locke? Crate Locke? Jacob? Ben?

- Back in the groovy 70s, Sayid has been shot and is dying but tells Jack that they have to blow up the magnetic thingy to reset time and then none of this will have happened and they'll all be back in LAX, oblivious to the existence of each other. They get the H-bomb that had been conveniently left for them in the 60s and Sayid manages to MacGuyver it to work. Sawyer doesn't like this plan and wants to keep things as they are and tells Jack all this with his fist. Jack says "KISSMYASS" and they try to make the plan happen anyway. Meanwhile, Chang realizes they hit the magnetic pocket and all shit breaks loose and the magnet starts sucking everything into the hole. While this is all happening, there's a shoot-out with the Losties and the Dharma people. Miraculously, no Losties are shot because they're THAT GOOD. Jack drops the bomb (cue Gap Band) into the hole and they all wait for the bang with scrunched up faces but nothing happens. The bombs a dud.

-Juliette's pulled into the well and she's super pissed that the bomb didn't go off. Through the miracle of teevee, she managed to get violently dragged into a well filled with lots of sharp metal things, fall all the way to the bottom and LIVE. This does not please Juliette since she wants a new life now so she takes out her anger on the poor bomb by banging on it with some kind of well rock and then....

bang? Boom? Pow? Reset???? WHAT HAPPENS? I'm sure I left a bunch out but go re-watch yourself then. All I know is that I'll be having some sort of freak out at 10pm CST tonight and I'll recap all the glory tomorrow.

Namaste.

OMGIMSOEXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guitar Hero

2010-01-31T17:30:00.001-08:00

So, we were watching the Grammys and Green Day was performing so Max grabbed his axe and busted out some sweet moves.

UPDATE!!!- So, I don't know why these videos won't play but I think it's a blogger problem. If they tell you unavailable, check back and hopefully they'll be up and working. Stupid blogger.

Cake Alert

2010-01-30T15:39:00.001-08:00

So, this may be one of my favorite cakes ever so check it out at www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com.

Somebody get me a St. Joseph statue, STAT!

2010-01-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

So, I haven't posted in a while because we've been in a frenzy getting our house ready to go on the market. It's officially going up in 14 days, so I have 14 days to find somewhere to store the endless storage tubs filled with all the priceless crap we've accumulated over the last 10 years. And paint my ceiling. Through this process I must also figure out how to convince Max to help keep the house clean. He will keep it clean for approximately 14 seconds now, which means when I get a call that an agent is coming over in an hour or something, I will totally not lose my shit freaking out over cleaning up his mess. Nope, I'll be totally calm.

This shall be an interesting endeavor. I kinda can't believe we're doing this.

Cake Alert!

2010-01-19T09:54:00.000-08:00

So, this is late going up because I forgot to take a picture before it was picked up and my client was so sweet as to send one over.

www.theatomiccakeco.blogspot.com

The House Saga, day 4.

2010-01-14T11:20:00.000-08:00

So, I just found out that the house has been taken off the market. Typical. My agent thinks it might be due to some water damage that happened earlier this week. When he got there, he found the pipes under the sink had burst and there was water through the ceiling and all over the basement. Oh yeah, I think I forgot to mention this in my earlier post. Anyway, he thinks and I hope that's the case but my luck is not that good so we're probably getting the gong. Wah wah.

Update: Okay, so I talked to Jeff and he also thinks it's for water damage repair. He also thinks we should take advantage of this extra time to get our shit together. I'm going to follow his lead.

Update 2: It was taken off to fix the damage. We're still in the running!!